Every desire that is born inside a person is a brick of his personality. It indicates goals, thoughts, intentions. It is important to listen to your dreams and catch the moment in time if the voice that dictated them suddenly subsided.
What is desire?
Desire is an inner feeling of the need to accomplish something or to possess something. For this concept is characteristic:
- Mindfulness. Understanding what you want.
- The motive. Awareness of why this desire arose and what its fulfillment will give.
- Ways of implementation. Knowledge of how to achieve our plans.
If these three conditions are met, then the dream will be fulfilled.
Want is not harmful, harmful - do not want!
Desires are the driving force forcing people to live, to achieve goals. The most common cause of a personal crisis is that a person does not know what he wants. Once in this trap, it is difficult to get out of it. Periodically, everyone experiences short-term attacks of "nothing unwillingness." They are expressed in the fact that it is difficult to determine what would be desirable at a particular point in time. At this time, the brain begins to automatically sort through the options: food, leisure, sleep, etc. If none of them finds a response, boredom, confusion, depression occurs. It is important not to confuse this state with laziness.
Want useful for the following reasons:
- At the time of the realization of desire, a person experiences a feeling of joy, happiness.
- Desires motivate to activity. For example, the dream of traveling leads to the fact that a person is looking for a better paying job, organizes time more compactly.
- There is a sense of meaning in life.
- The ability to fulfill wishes increases self-esteem.
What does the lack of desire?
A person always has desires, just negative thoughts and psychological blocks can block them. To open them, you can conduct the exercise "Winning the lottery." It is necessary to imagine that you won a large sum and write on the sheet how life would change after that. Attention, this should not be a shopping list, but a list of actions with about such points:
- I would take a vacation and go on a tour of Europe.
- He would quit his job and open a shoe store.
- Divorced and moved to another city.
- I would get an apartment in the center.
It will be useful to highlight intangible desires. This exercise helps to understand what you really want. For example, the dismissal will indicate that the person does not like his work, the divorce - the dissatisfaction with the relationship. The purpose of the exercise is to understand that life can be changed without waiting for the lottery to win.
What do desires say?
Desires and actions (or inaction) in their implementation can tell a lot about a person.
Optimist or pessimist
Often the reason why a person refuses to desire is the lack of faith in oneself and the fulfillment of a dream. Disbelief can be exacerbated by constant complaints about the inability to get what you want. This leads to the formation of internal blocks. Even if the pessimist gets what he wants in his heart, he will not be able to take advantage of it or will not even notice it.
The optimists are different. They are looking for opportunities. Such people are open to new things, easier to adapt to change, easier to tolerate failures and recover faster after them. Even if the fulfillment of a desire requires effort from them, they are able to succeed.
Strength of character
To fulfill desires, we need patience, dedication, stress resistance. These are important traits. And it is their absence or lack of development that makes a person refuse to get what they want. To motivate yourself, you can make a list of desires and mark when they come true.
Interests and Values
By what a person wants, you can understand what he is interested in and what is most valuable to him. This is especially important when people start a relationship. It is enough to ask what the person would like to achieve in the near future, and one can understand what he is most interested in. Someone will call the promotion of a career, someone wants to start a family. The third will talk about what plans to travel or saves on the apartment.
What happens if you do not fulfill your desires?
If you do not make your dreams come true, you may encounter such problems:
- The collapse of self-esteem. Constant ignoring of desires at a deep level can mean that a person simply does not believe that he is worthy of their fulfillment. This indicates a low self-esteem.
- Depression. Constant failures lead to depression. A person's hands fall, motivation falls. The desire to even want something disappears.
- Closure A person whose desires are not fulfilled is difficult to communicate with more fortunate people. Because he often refuses to communicate, less often seen with friends and family.
What if desires are not fulfilled?
It happens so that desires are not fulfilled for a long time. This leads to the fact that even the most ardent optimist loses faith. There are several ways to remedy the situation:
- Do not make yourself dependent on your desires. There is a philosophical thought: "A person must manage desires, and not vice versa." Do not consider the failure of dreams, as a collapse, loss, failure. If the desire is realized, it will be great, if not, there are dozens of others, which you can start now.
- Understand that not really wanted. It will be useful to scroll through the head, what happens if the dream does not come true. This technique helps to reveal true desires, find new ways to realize them, release fears and conquer them.
- Make a list of small pleasures. Next, you need to act so that as many items as possible in this list are reached. This will help maintain pep.
- To break a big goal into small, easily achievable. If we consider the purchase of an apartment for one big desire, it seems that the goal is difficult to achieve. But if you try to consider the options (mortgage, cost reduction, loans from friends), put a realistic deadline, you can get housing in a couple of years.
The most important desire that a person should have is to realize their own dreams. This is not only the path to happiness, but also a way to maintain good mental health.
