Depression at 19: expectations and reality

Introduction

Oh, Youth! About youth they compose verses, make films. But while you are young, only a part of you remembers this and appreciates unique years. Otherwise, youth is a period saturated with a full range of joys and sorrows that pass through an unripe psychological filter and leave the brightest emotions, feelings and memories. At some point, all that could be for the first time - loses its novelty. Growing up is no longer a phantom, but a reality. On the other side, adult life. Ahead of the flour choice of school, profession, hobby, partner, body and a million other trifles that seem important. There is not far before the crisis!

Crisis or depression?

A crisis (ancient-Greek. κρίσις - decision; turning point) - a turning point. A state where the old life scenarios no longer work, and the new ones are not yet activated.

The crisis is easy to recognize. In life, something goes wrong and you clearly feel it. Mentally take a step back in life and honestly answer the question: “What happened?”. Find the point where the change from “all is well” occurred, to “I don’t want it anymore and it doesn’t suit me”. It is important to reject at the same time all social superstructures, such as respect for one’s neighbor, responsibility towards the family and so on, but only at the mental level. Remove the shackles and censor from the mental stream - it will be easier to understand what is happening to you.

Best of all, such psychological brainstorming takes place under the supervision of a psychotherapist. It will be much more efficient and will not entail devastating consequences.

The crisis is characterized by psychological and bodily discomfort. At the body level, there are unpleasant sensations - the brain keeps your body in readiness - to escape! As a human being in the nature of evolution, you have a syndrome of self-preservation. Stress hormones and adrenaline are produced so that you can save yourself. Psychological discomfort affects people differently. Someone wants to hide from the problems and not to solve anything. Someone is inspired by future changes and dreams of good to the fullest (this is often a denial syndrome!), And someone gets depressed.

The main difference between crisis and depression is the readiness to change something. Crisis is an active process that can positively affect life. Depression is a passive process. In depression, there is no strength and no apparent reason to change anything.

A crisis can gradually degenerate into depression, if you do not pay due attention to your condition. This tends to people who have increased adaptability to the situation and tolerance to discomfort. Usually these are children from families with tyranny, humiliation and bad attitude towards themselves at all levels. Psychological and physical discomfort is the norm and the only possible reality. Depression is rapidly developing in this reality.

Causes of depression at 19

What worries a young man on the border of the 20th anniversary? The answer is everything! Yesterday he checked his diary and gave money for ice cream, but today he needs to choose his future. The realization comes that the reality around is not a game. There is no person who would be responsible for your life and choice. All life ahead, and you find it difficult to choose jeans and hairstyle. Such a mental stream around the clock eats away the personality and takes resources from a young man.

The 5 most common causes of depression at age 19:

Disappointment in the chosen path

Most often, such disappointment is associated with education. The future profession, family, country of residence falls under doubt. It seems that the former goals and dreams no longer work and do not bring joy.

Accommodation with parents

When at 19 you have a need for full autonomy from your parents, and you still live with them or at their expense - this causes a lot of discomfort. In Russian realities, parents usually kindle a fire of psychological self-destruction of their grown-up children with inadequate and toxic criticism (“Already the beard is growing, but it cannot wash the plate behind it!”, “Do we have to feed you before retirement?”) Or stories about your super-adolescence ( "Yes, I already had three children at your age! And without a washing machine!", "Do you play everything? I had 2 jobs at the age of 17 and seven small brothers!").

Work and study load

Waiting for me to get a diploma and a prestigious internship does not always end positively. It is important to rest and not forget about the replenishment of resources. Congestion in studies and work, because you are an excellent student and you must be ahead of the rest of the world (“and parents are proud of me”!) - an alarming psychological symptom.

Problems with personal life

If personal life does not add up and there is a general feeling of unsuccessfulness of the opposite sex or a relationship disorder due to betrayal, disappointment cannot be avoided. Teenage scenarios for the development of attitudes and early failures can severely spoil the psychological climate of a 19-year-old.

Self-indulgence

Complexes due to appearance or any defects and the belief that they are the cause of failures in life. In essence, self-dislike is a sentence to a good and desirable future. The accumulating passive aggression is directed at itself - it regularly poisons and destroys the personality (“It's all because of you!”, “Look at yourself - you are worthless!”).

Already depressed?

Depression rises unnoticed. Step by step, it obstructs the landscapes of the future normal life. Then it completely fills the entire field of view. There is no need to do anything anymore and strive for something; everything good has remained far in the past. Ahead is routine, work and old age. Aversion to their future is multiplied by aversion and non-acceptance of oneself.

Symptoms of depression at a young age - often blamed on youthful maximalism or dismissively blamed on "lack of intelligence and experience." Where sensitive relatives and relatives could suspect that something was wrong and find a psychotherapist, devaluation of feelings and ridicule of cowardice before difficulties often occur.

The 5 most common symptoms of depression at age 19:

Bad mood, not changing from external circumstances and not passing more than 6 weeks
Decreased physical and sexual activity, powerlessness to do anything
Disappointment in life and people
Thoughts of death, suicide
Closure and unwillingness to discuss your condition with anyone

Details about the symptoms of depression in our article: Symptoms of depression

If you suspect you have a depression or are close to you, immediately contact a specialist for help!

Depression at a young age is dangerous because a person has little experience in overcoming difficulties in life. According to statistics, depression at the age of 15-25 years most often ends in suicide! Therefore, depression can and is important to treat.

What to do?

It is important not to succumb to addictions, which at a young age are everywhere. Alcohol, drugs, smoking and promiscuous sex only harm and create a lot of obstacles to a normal healthy life. An overview of the possible ways out of depression, read our article: Depression: what to do?

For a young age there are some more universal tips:

More sleep and rest

When there are a lot of affairs, opportunities and constant pressure from informational garbage around - it is important to save your resources and not to lose the emerging personality. Listen to your body and your feelings - they also need rest. Especially important is the dream! It allows you to update and recycle everything that happens to you, in general, "reloading" the senses and body.

Gap year

Gap year is a term used to denote the period of life after graduation from school to enter a university, to define life values and the value of higher education as such. During this period, young people work or travel. This is a great opportunity to get to know yourself better and start building your life without justifying someone's expectations.

Edit the course of life under your script

What is happening to you can always be changed, except in cases of incurable disease. Is always! Remember this. Your life serves you, not the other way around.

Find points of support in your personality

To live a full-fledged and self-sufficient life is not a ghostly pompous dream, but the result of the courage to be yourself and rely on yourself. Get to know yourself and make friends. You are your best ally and friend, not an enemy and a pest.

Restore and protect your borders

Respect yourself and your life - often be uncomfortable. Often say: "No!". Realize that no one has the right to cause you suffering, both mental and physical. Protect yourself and respect other people's borders. It is important!

Respect yourself and your feelings

When you are in conflict with yourself and your feelings (or depreciation) - it is difficult to go forward through life. Usually it looks like a chaotic aimless activity, just to "not think / feel about it." This situation is fraught with dependencies, illusions and other defense mechanisms of our psyche. One thing is true - when you listen to yourself and respect your feelings - then it is you, and not your adaptation mechanism, that lives in the world. Think about it.

Prevention

There are several favorite ones by our editors. Our site exercises in order not to fall into depression from everything that happens to you at the age of 19 and be able to stand on your feet with confidence, building your life!

Exercises seem simple, but many cannot be so frank with themselves and sometimes the result of such exercises returns a person to reality as it is and this reference point of the crisis. But overcoming the crisis is beneficial. The main thing is to overcome, and not to adapt!

Exercise number 1

Meet again

Question: “Tell me about yourself” - not easy and often annoying. If there is no self-confidence, it is also dangerous for the development of neurosis and depression.

The essence of the exercise is to summarize the accumulated personal characteristics. You tell yourself about yourself frankly. Do not tell about yourself what you imposed. Who you are not.

The list of questions is arbitrary, but it is desirable to make it up so that later, based on the answers, you can write a short story about a person.

As soon as you tell the truth about yourself, you will understand that you are a person. You have values, points of support, certain resources and challenges. Chaos will shatter. Lock in the moment and do not think of yourself as an empty place. Here you are, and you can build a life that you will like.

Exercise number 2

Describe your perfect day

We turn off censorship in our thoughts and dream. It is necessary to provide an ordinary day. Not a vacation or a holiday, but an ordinary day. In detail and with a breakdown of 10-15 minutes. Every detail is important! From breakfast and alarm melody to everyone you talked with on that day and work. This exercise is best done in writing and, possibly, not at once. Our editorial board saw quite a few people who could not afford even in their dreams to imagine life as it should be in life! This is difficult, as there will be an irreversible further gulf between “I want” and “what is now”. But this is the first step towards what is truly valuable.

Exercise 3

Create a plan to overcome the abyss

The gap between the “perfect day” and what is now is surmountable. Plan out in small blocks what needs to be done so that life is the way you want it. Every small business, up to “google about life in the USA” is already a step. Every step is important and worthy of attention. Clear and clear plan - will allow you to believe in yourself and go forward. Along the way, there will definitely be resources to overcome difficulties (especially financial!) And resources that will give strength to keep going and believe in yourself.

Depression at a young age often comes when there is no faith in what the life you want awaits. But it is important to understand that life you form is a daily choice. This story is not about “achievement” and “forward to the goal!”, It is a story about friendship with yourself and respect for your desires. By the way, “achievement” is a symptom of deep trauma and should be treated, not carried to the masses.

Conclusion

Depression at age 19 is a complex phenomenon, tied to teenage problems and awareness of responsibility for their future. Many fears and disappointments paralyze the will. They drive into thick heavy thoughts that everything is bad and life promises only loss and pain. This is not true. It says depression. Seek the help of a psychotherapist and undergo treatment. Life without depression is much better and interesting ahead.

We also recommend that you read the following articles: