What I am writing about now will certainly not be the ultimate truth. I foresee many objections and comments from those who themselves have gone through the hell of drunkenness of loved ones and gained negative experience. And yet I hope that this mini-novel about the fight with the green snake will help some exhausted wives to develop a plan of action if the husband began to drink, and with dignity and a sense of accomplishment, to get out of this difficult life situation or at least try to do it.
The content of the article:
Causes of Alcoholism
How to deal with the problem?
Psychologist's comment
Regular use of alcohol may or may not be an addiction disease. To start, try to think and assess the scale of the disaster. In any case, frequent attachment to a glass means there are certain psychological problems. And the risk of being at the bottom is still very high.
Therefore, any suspicion of abuse requires attention and certain actions. What kind? Let's figure it out.
Chapter 1 (theoretical). Medical history
Enemy need to know in person. The enemy is strong and cunning, so we have to get to know him better and boldly look at the face of the enemy.
The reasons
Not all lovers of “succumb” fall an unlucky chance to get sick. One of the medical versions of the root cause of alcoholism is genetic. Features of DNA that affect the character, organization of the psyche, the ability to control and decision-making, can form the so-called "satisfaction deficit" in humans. It's simple: latent dissatisfaction by triggering neuropsychic processes in the brain causes certain behaviors, including a tendency to alcoholism.
At the biological level, alcoholism arises due to a violation of metabolic processes in the brain, and because of the influence of ethyl alcohol on the nervous system, the reactions of the nervous system links are gradually modified, and these changes result in the formation of dependence.
The first signs of the disease - loss of a sense of proportion, self-control, good tolerability of large doses, the beginning of hard drinking. Among the most frequent complications are exhaustion, diseases of the nervous system, heart, liver, kidneys, pancreas, and other organs. Other consequences are degradation, amnesia, various psychosis (including delirium tremens) with hallucinations, delusions and other mental manifestations.
Socio-psychological aspects
Try to understand the reason why the husband drinks. These can be various psychological problems, situations after which he "relieves stress" by attaching to the bottle:
- constant stress at work;
- confusion in life, lack of goals;
- lack of self-realization;
- attention deficit;
- drinking team, environment and others.
But if you are not a certified psychoanalyst, it may be difficult for you to identify the cause yourself.
Alcoholism and family relationships
This situation is familiar to many people: a husband can be an arbitrarily good and kind person, but in moments of acute need for a dose of alcohol, he does not seem to see anything around him, does not listen to anyone, and does not hear. At this point, his life is subject to the only goal - to drink. Nothing and no one can keep him in such moments, be it a mother or a wife. Some men under the influence of alcohol become aggressive, often they raise a hand on the household, even on children.
What is going on the soul of his wife? Resentment, pity, disgust, anger, despair, powerlessness - not a complete list of feelings. A wife may feel unwelcome, unloved, meaningless to her husband.
Often, co-dependency is formed among loved ones, when the whole life revolves around an alcoholic and is subject to his drinking and drinking schedule. Households may develop guilt, varying degrees of self-esteem, psychological problems of various kinds, even suicidal tendencies.
Chapter 2 (short but fateful). To be or not to be?
The first thing you have to do is make a fateful decision in all senses, on which your future life depends: yours, your husband, children, the future of your family. There are three ways to choose:
- Do nothing. Let it be as it is. If this is your way - then you can not read, or reread the previous chapter and go back to the choice between the second and third paragraph.
- To part with her husband, relieving himself of his worries and relieving himself of the responsibility for the further fate of a weak person.
- Fight. Consciously embark on a difficult path and go through it with her husband.
In order to decide, you need to weigh all the pros and cons of the continuation of family life with a sick person. Write out the merits and reasons why you would like to try to save the marriage, as well as anything that causes pain and inconvenience.
Alcoholism is a disease that requires long-term treatment, discipline and patience from all family members. The path will be long and very difficult.
The next chapter is for those who decide to fight.
Chapter 3 (practical). Team play
Alcoholism and alcoholism are not just bad habits. This is a disease. You are embarking on a serious game that should become a team, because without efforts on both sides there will be no positive result. The main prize is a happy family life. Where to begin?
Step 1. Formation of desire and motivation to action.
Here the first and most important obstacle arises, due to the impossibility of overcoming which, unfortunately, most teams drop out of the competition at the first stage. Even if the spouse often drinks, the most difficult thing is to convince the man that there is a problem and move him to action. It is impossible to help a person until he wants changes. Having caused the husband to realize that he is sick, and inspire a desire to fight, you can assume that half the road to success is traversed.
It is necessary to act delicately, but persistently, to find an individual approach. In periods of enlightenment, when the husband is sober and able to have a constructive conversation, try to persuade, put pressure on the most painful points. In conversations, draw scary pictures of his diving to the bottom, describe in detail possible health problems, the terrible fate of children. Sometimes you have to resort to radical methods, such as ultimatums, calling for help, the fear of a man to lose his wife and children.
Step 2. Team building and joint action plan
If everything is not very neglected, and it was possible to identify the cause independently or in the course of discussion with the husband, simple adjustment of your relations and the social life of the man can "sober up". If the case is difficult, and the struggle is literally for life, you will need serious treatment in a specialized clinic.
With the consent of her husband, it would be good to undergo a course of psychotherapy. In the course of it you can understand the psychological problems and learn how to solve them without the involvement of doping. During the course of a joint course, the opening and treatment of the "pustules" of your family life can be a bonus.
It is necessary to form interest to spend time with family. It can be joint trips, cultural program. At the same time, the husband needs to be brought to work, so that the two of you feel like a team: together, develop the strategy and tactics of getting rid of his illness, make a detailed action plan, taking into account the wishes of both parties.
Step 3. Treatment
In the treatment of alcoholism can not be a fabulous instant effect, which would be preserved for life.
Therefore, all sorts of fast coding, all sorts of hereditary newspaper advertisements and other magicians in the thirtieth generation, most of whom are charlatans, are not suitable for serious consideration. At this stage, you need to find a good clinic and a suitable doctor.
Collect reviews, learn from your recommendations. The course of treatment for alcoholism in the clinic should consist not only of drug treatment. Much attention should be paid to psychotherapy, since alcoholism is not only a problem of the body, but a psychological one.
The clinic should do a comprehensive examination of both physical health and the psyche of a person’s personality and prescribe a multifaceted treatment.
Step 4. Support
Remember: you are a team, so do not leave your husband entirely in the care of doctors. Take part in his rehabilitation. Keep calm conversations, encourage and support a loved one in this difficult period in every sense.
It will be useful to dream together and plan activities for the future, you can even make a detailed vacation plan or, alternatively, think of ways to promote your husband along the career path. Direct all your love and wisdom towards encouraging him to recover.
EPILOGUE
Having achieved a positive result, the whole family should make every effort to secure it and exclude relapses. They may even have to radically change their lifestyle, but the good end justifies the means.
It is wrong to assert in advance that all drunkards are people who have been written off to the landfill by an unknown life manager. Life itself presents much evidence of successful overcoming of vice. If your efforts did not give a positive change, just thank yourself for trying. The lack of results is also a result that speaks eloquently about the fact that one of the team members was not particularly eager for victory.
In this case, the woman will have to weigh everything again and make a choice again. Make a fateful decision, based on their own dignity, the future well-being of themselves and their children. Children need a healthy, purposeful, strong and loving mother, and parents need a calm and happy daughter. The main value is the family, but the family is harmonious and prosperous.
Galina, Belgorod
