Thousands of works have already been written about her, thousands of quotes are posted online every day, but it's still difficult to formulate what love is. Love is a feeling, which means that this concept is ephemeral and subjective. How to recognize it?
Much depends on the level of human development, his experience of relationships. If we consider love as a mature feeling, then it combines a whole list of other components.
How to distinguish love?
Love and love, habit, sexual desire are often confused. Many of those feelings that equate to love, “give” to egoism, the desire to possess a person, to be with him without taking into account his own opinion. How many stories exist, in which one of the main characters is ready to forcibly make the other half happy.
So, the first sign by which love can be recognized is the lack of egoism, the understanding that a loved one has the right to feel or not to feel reciprocity. There are often situations in which one partner tries to “absorb” another, constantly wanting to influence his decisions, control his free time, etc. In a healthy relationship this should not be. Love is seen precisely as a partnership in which two people complement each other, while remaining separate individuals. They look in one direction, move together, know and take into account the opinion of the partner.
Speaking about what love is, one cannot consider it only as a feeling. After all, it is also an action. This is a responsible attitude to the partner, support, care. Respect is another component, without which love and healthy relationships can not be.
When love comes, it changes a person’s value system. For example, a loving person is ready to abandon his plans, which previously had a higher value for him to spend time with a partner.
Love and love can also be defined because of how the vision of the world changes. Each person faced the fact that in a state of love the world changes its colors, becomes bright, bright, positive. You stop paying attention to troubles, all the negative just passes by - thus the person’s perception changes. However, being in love is a short-term feeling, the first disagreements can undermine it.
Therefore, speaking of what love is, you need to understand that this is a feeling that is verified by time. There are always a lot of complicated situations that meet both an individual partner and a couple. However, the ability to maintain deep warm feelings, the desire to support a partner, to find the optimal solution to a difficult task and at the same time not lose the sensation of the beauty of the world and its inner harmony are the features of love.
Love is hard to imagine without physical attraction to the partner. There is always a desire to touch, hug, be closer.
Despite the fact that two people can love each other, they do not always manage to explain this to each other. How does this happen? It is clear that love is a subjective concept, and everyone feels it in their own way. And if two people perceive it differently, it can cause a conflict. For example, for a man, love is perceived as trust, and he quietly lets the woman go to the evening “get-togethers” with her friends.
A woman can consider this indifference and say that he does not love her, because she is not jealous. To understand each other in this (and many other) situations, it is important not to be led by emotions that arise initially, but to have a desire to understand the partner’s point of view, to understand that what he does and feels is sincere. And, despite the differences, you still love each other.
What is sick love
It is necessary to separate the concept of healthy love from the patient. Unrequited feeling often turns into sick love. It is necessary to immediately understand that hatred, the desire to “teach a lesson,” to offend, revenge a person for what he does not love, is not normal. These are manifestations of neurotic attachment, and if it is difficult to independently combat these feelings, then it is highly recommended to contact a specialist. Since there is a problem in the man himself, his self-sufficiency, worldview. She will not go anywhere, and if she is not worked through, she will pursue a person.
Sick love is often manifested by the phrases “I can’t live without him / her”, the loss of the meaning of life if the “loved one” is not around. Such things tend to suffer from adolescents or unformed people. Most often, their life is rather dull and uninteresting, therefore, having found an object of love, they direct all their attention to it, from which the object (which is logical) seeks to hide.
If you have developed such affection and you realize that the situation is getting out of control, the first thing that needs to be done is, if possible, to completely stop communicating with the object.
Also, the desire for constant emotional shaking is characteristic of sick love. There is a category of people for whom even and quiet relations are equated with their absence. They believe that the more experiences, sufferings, mental torments, the more confident you can talk about love. Such situations also need to be worked out.
