The Internet has firmly entered the life of modern man. Social networks, blogs, forums, dating sites allow you to meet and start a relationship without leaving home.
Pen love competes in popularity with traditional live relationships, makes your heart beat faster, inspires and gives mood. And often it ends overnight as swiftly as it began.
Is it possible to fall in love on the internet?
You correspond daily with a person receive compliments and sweet speechesit seems you have a lot of common themes, the same looks, the other person is sweet and charming.
Feeling is born. This is not love, but rather sympathy, love. You are drawn to a fictitious image, and not to a real person, about which little is actually known.
Perfect picture - figment of the imagination. After a meeting in the real world, fantasies can be dispelled, a person will be less attractive, feelings will go away.
With more favorable developments, if there is a confirmation of pleasant impressions, communication will continue. And in this case, the birth of love is possible.
If you or your interlocutor refuse to transfer acquaintance from the virtual world to the real one, preferring to enjoy illusions, it is possible that everything is not smooth in your life at the moment, there is a feeling of dissatisfaction.
Dating through the Internet. How to understand the seriousness of the relationship? Expert Opinion:
Prerequisites for the development of feelings
What were the prerequisites for the emergence of feelings? Perhaps it:
Disappointment. Novels on the Internet - a frequent consequence of frustration in real relationships. After breaking up man for some time is not ready for a new serious relationship. The soul has not fallen ill yet, the past has not been forgotten. Correspondence allows you to cheer up, feel needed, and at the same time gives you the feeling of a protected personal space where you can keep out the interlocutor. With a breakdown in family life virtual flirting helps to get emotions missing in life, add bright colors to life, while some manage to save the family.- Personality Features. Self-doubt, complexes about appearance, physical disabilities, fear of being ridiculed and rejected interfere with acquaintances in the real world. There are people closed by nature. The Internet provides an opportunity to meet shy people, couch potatoes and introverts who do not know how to make live communication, not loving and not able to meet in life.
In love on the Internet, everything begins with conversations, expression of thoughts, finding out common interests and similarity of worldview. Appearance, social status are relegated to the background.
- Desire to be recognized. I like it, hear approval in your address, and get a positive assessment of their activities - it’s nice. If these steps come from a stranger, they are repeated several times - it is fascinating and exciting. New acquaintances attract by giving a new portion of admiration. They are addicted to people, wanting to get even more attention and interest in their personalities, and there they are not far from being in love.
Disappointment. Novels on the Internet - a frequent consequence of frustration in real relationships. After breaking up man for some time is not ready for a new serious relationship. The soul has not fallen ill yet, the past has not been forgotten. Correspondence allows you to cheer up, feel needed, and at the same time gives you the feeling of a protected personal space where you can keep out the interlocutor. With a breakdown in family life virtual flirting helps to get emotions missing in life, add bright colors to life, while some manage to save the family.Relationship or illusion of relationships? The main problems in the relationship on the Internet:
What attracts in correspondence with the opposite sex?
Pluses of virtual relationships:
proximity effect. You can share secrets with an interlocutor, tell personal stories, throw out what you don’t want to tell your loved ones. In response, you can get a response to your feelings, or silence and misunderstanding. To this must be prepared.- complete freedom of expression, lack of fear and boundaries. Without blushing, you can write on any topic, discuss, discuss any questions you like, do not be shy.
- No need to worry about the look, unlucky hairstyle or loose suit. The interviewee does not see you.
- distance does not play any role. You can communicate with a person from the other side of the planet. If the language barrier allows. And feel with him the closest people.
- the right to choose. It is up to you to communicate with whom and with whom to take a break in a relationship.
You can simply block the bored or unpleasant interlocutor. In real life it is more difficult - it is not always convenient and polite to speak the truth in the face.
- time availability. On the Internet, you do not need to respond instantly. You always have time to come up with an original answer to the question, think what to write and how to get the person of the opposite sex interested, highlight your strengths and hide flaws.
- opportunity to experience very real emotions. You can capture the joy, sadness, tenderness, admiration, jealousy. All the truth.
proximity effect. You can share secrets with an interlocutor, tell personal stories, throw out what you don’t want to tell your loved ones. In response, you can get a response to your feelings, or silence and misunderstanding. To this must be prepared.Cons of online relationships
Disadvantages of online relationships:
You have very little information about the interlocutor. All that is available is taken from his words. Relationships are based on the belief in what he says and how he describes himself. In the network, everyone shows only what he wants. A pen lover will not show his negative qualities and traits. And with full-time communication, all this will necessarily manifest. Your hero may not want a serious relationship, but lie openly, asserting himself at your expense. But in relationships on the Internet, everything is built on unconditional trust.- In the correspondence, people often offer fictional information about themselves., embellish, endow themselves with non-existent merits, invent unreal details of their life. Especially with these interlocutors sin with low self-esteem: on the Internet, you can be strong, beautiful, successful, not considering yourself as such in reality.
Sometimes, in practice, a partner may be of a different age, and even gender. On the Internet, it is easy to be who you are not. No one will notice the substitution.
- You independently think up the character traits of the interlocutor, attributing to it non-existent qualities and creating an unreal image. Idealizing your hero, making your chosen one the very best, you can get very disappointed in a real meeting.
- You can be separated by huge distances. And if you suddenly decide to transfer your love to a real plane, it will be difficult to do.
Possible psychological dependencies. You are constantly drawn to the computer, there is no time for walks, hobbies, live communication. If at a certain moment the interlocutor does not get in touch, it is difficult for you to experience his absence.- Correspondence relationships are illusoryin real life, partners remain lonely, or live not with the objects of their fervent feelings, but with completely different people.
- Virtual love can be dangerous. In the network there are mentally unbalanced and anxious people.
If you nevertheless agreed on a first date with a guy in the internet, be sure to assign him in a public place.
You have very little information about the interlocutor. All that is available is taken from his words. Relationships are based on the belief in what he says and how he describes himself. In the network, everyone shows only what he wants. A pen lover will not show his negative qualities and traits. And with full-time communication, all this will necessarily manifest. Your hero may not want a serious relationship, but lie openly, asserting himself at your expense. But in relationships on the Internet, everything is built on unconditional trust.
Possible psychological dependencies. You are constantly drawn to the computer, there is no time for walks, hobbies, live communication. If at a certain moment the interlocutor does not get in touch, it is difficult for you to experience his absence.Dependence on social networks, virtual love, Internet addiction, psychotherapy:
Perspectives
Having fallen in love by correspondence, people want to meet in reality, and live a long and happy life together. Here many are overtaken by disappointment.
- Sometimes a talkative, sociable interlocutor after the offer to meet disappears. He is busy all the time, there are many important things to do, work is done at all, family circumstances urgently require moving to another city.
Most likely, your hero has reasons to leave the relationship purely virtual, so as not to turn from an ideal into a completely not ideal person. Or he already has a very real relationship with someone other than you. In any case, stubborn unwillingness to meet and excuses should be alerted. - If the meeting took place, sometimes not everything goes smoothly. A person can be the complete opposite of the created image. You will have nothing to talk about. Relationships end, you are overwhelmed with feelings of resentment and injustice.
Most likely, your hero has reasons to leave the relationship purely virtual, so as not to turn from an ideal into a completely not ideal person. Or he already has a very real relationship with someone other than you. In any case, stubborn unwillingness to meet and excuses should be alerted.Most of the close relationships by correspondence overnight cease after the first real meeting. Sobriety is a frequent result of the first dates of virtual lovers.
Cases where Internet correspondence grows into true love, ends with a wedding and the creation of a happy familyhappen less often. They are possible if you know how to behave and how to communicate, if you want to continue the relationship.
Myths and tragedies of virtual love:
Tips for psychologists how to communicate
Psychologists recommend adhering to the following rules:
be yourself No need to invent yourself non-existent hobbies, lying about social status, to attribute other people's achievements. If you want to meet with the object of your senses, lies will be revealed. This will put you in an awkward situation. And who wants to start a serious relationship with deception;- talk not only about yourself. Get more interested in the interlocutor, ask questions. Look for topics that are interesting to both of you. With individuals obsessed with themselves, you don’t want to continue communicating too much;
- communicate politely and discreetly. Try to avoid mistakes when writing. Vulgarity and illiteracy scare away;
- connect a sense of humor. Funny jokes and the ability to laugh will defuse the situation in case of awkward silence and enliven the correspondence;
- be sincere, don't play the role and pretend. Do not throw out your problems to the interlocutor, avoid complaints about life and fate;
- be careful, there are a lot of strange people in the network, swindlers and scammers. Do not distribute your personal data and phone number without thinking. First try to get to know the interlocutor better;
- do not dwell on love correspondence. A real acquaintance will take relationships to a new level. The faster it happens, the less you have time to come up with each other.
Do not delay, if you feel that you have found a congenial person who can change your life, invite him on a date.
be yourself No need to invent yourself non-existent hobbies, lying about social status, to attribute other people's achievements. If you want to meet with the object of your senses, lies will be revealed. This will put you in an awkward situation. And who wants to start a serious relationship with deception;How long can love last?
Feelings for a correspondent partner last exactly as long as you allow yourself to feed it.
Love can last for months and even years.
You can talk for a long time on the Internet, planning future dates, discussing the similarity of the worldview, but never meet.
A real meeting is necessary for the development of relationships. Body contact is needed, it is important to see facial expressions, to hear intonation, to observe the reaction to certain events.
All this helps to assess a person in real communication, to discover his real character. Virtual love is fictional, to a greater extent it exists in the imagination.
Communication, when lovers know little about each other, do not see each other, do not touch, and only pleasant things are written to each other every day, may arise, but eventually doomed to failure.
Remember, real relationships are much fuller, brighter and more multifaceted than correspondence love.
How to understand that you like a pen guy? 7 signs:
