The Psychiatric Encyclopedia states that one of the most important innate human needs is the need for dominance. But upbringing makes its own changes. One child grows up with repressed need, another makes dominance the meaning of life. Why is the dominant one and not the other? How do dreams of dominance lead to violence? Can we choose - who to be - lead or follower, or is this fate predetermined in advance?
The article gathered answers to questions and advice on how to recognize the alpha leader, avoid emotional violence, and cultivate leadership qualities like Irina Khakamada.
What is domination
Dominance is a term that in the broadest sense means interaction, where one thing dominates another. The term can be used in relation to different subjects, situations and manifestations. In zoology - This is the tendency to control the behavior of individuals that are lower in the hierarchy. In genetics - this is the quality of a strong form of a gene that suppresses a weak form. In anatomy - propensity to use one eye when it is necessary to examine an object.
Dominance as part of personality - propensity to prevail, to suppress another person with interpersonal interaction. Spouses dominate in the family, people in a couple, partners in sex, employees or managers at work, negotiation policies. Some seek to dominate at all costs. Others are learning the methods that will help protect themselves from the role of the slave in unequal relationships.
Domination hierarchy - A term that was originally used in biology to refer to the system of subordination-dominance in a pack of social animals. The purpose of the hierarchy is to organize the aggression. In Homo sapiens, the same mechanisms work, but more complex or veiled. A situation in which the strong are in a more privileged position than the weak is also characteristic of the human community. Alpha in a flock of animals - large leaders, omega - the weakest individuals. Alpha in the human pack - the class of winners, which selects the best.
How to recognize alpha in a person
If in a flock of animals, alpha is the largest and most visible individual, then among people there are enough examples that prove the opposite. Napoleon, Genghis Khan, Stalin, Suvorov - these names emerge in the memory when it comes to the relationship between growth and leadership qualities. So, among people, physical strength a priori does not prove the ability to alpha-dominance. Then how to determine exactly the leader?
So alpha:
- About all add their own opinions.
- Actively makes decisions.
- Loves competition.
- Prefers independence.
- Changes the world around him according to his own will.
- Risks and takes responsibility for himself.
- Aiming to become stronger.
- Likes to stand out from the rest.
Complicated personality traits give the leader another distinctive feature - an extraordinary intellect. This does not mean that alpha is able to quote an encyclopedia. Just when he makes decisions, takes care of the rest, goes his own way, he is forced to think more than others.
Unfortunately, the desire to dominate is a sign not only of the leader, but also of the despot. According to statistics, the cause of domestic violence, tyranny at work, aggressive behavior becomes the uncontrolled dominance of one person. Most often it is manifested by psychological violence - subordination at the level of a volitional sphere.
10 tips on how to identify the signs of a psychological tyrant and protect yourself from such behavior
Emotional or psychological abuse is difficult to identify. Unlike the physical, it leaves no scars or bruises on the body. But leaves invisible scars in the shower. Gazliting, emotional blackmail, and holding; emotional violence changes from harmless humming to open humiliation and humiliation. Do not want to become a victim - learn to recognize.
7 signs of emotional abuse
- Insult and excessive criticism: the aggressor partner argues the criticism solely by its own judgments and conclusions, contrary to the partner’s desire.
- Rudeness is surreptitiously: when a partner says nasty things in a everyday voice or treats you like a stupid kid.
- Manipulating guilt feelings: an aggressor partner causes guilt feelings in another, but never apologizes and does not admit guilt.
- Isolation: when, for the slightest insubordination, a subordinate is declared a boycott, is met with a stony face, or is chilled.
- Codependency: the personal boundaries of the partner-subordinate are constantly violated, deprived of will and independence.
- Bad treatment: the aggressor demonstrates a bad attitude, but claims that the partner misunderstood everything.
- Gazliding: the most destructive type of psychological aggression, when a person is convinced of his own insignificance.
Today, the term "perspektsitsid" is increasingly used - a type of psychological violence in which the aggressor partner changes the victim's thinking, imposes his ideas, beliefs, principles. But this is a stage that is manifested by long-term exposure. Therefore, it is better to learn to resist violence in the early stages.
4 councils of psychologists for those who seek to resist emotional abuse
- Think about the situation in a state of mental balance.
- You should not solve the problem through bickering. Instead, you can use less conflicting options:
- Calmly tell about the feelings experienced under the control of others.
- Speak on behalf of your “I”, instead of blaming the other.
- Can not tell - write a letter.
- Ask for the support of a close friend, but do not choose mutual friends.
- Consult a family counselor or psychotherapist.
Psychologists warn that it is necessary to prepare for resistance. Do not try to change the partner, better work on yourself. If you fail to repair broken relationships, try to break the vicious circle and avoid mistakes in the future.
7 rules of Irina Khakamada for those who want to become a leader
A leader is not always an innate quality, but everyone can manage his life and his work. So says the politician, journalist and trainer Irina Khakamada. From her books and workshops, we selected 7 of the most effective tips:
- Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to answer for your life, your actions and words, for other people and your family, even if you have not been taught this since childhood.
- Learn to communicate. Communication is a two-way process that implies the ability to hear and listen to the interlocutor, beautifully resolve conflicts, show flexibility.
- Set yourself super ambitious challenges.. You may not reach them, but you will do much more than you would expect from yourself.
- Train your professional intuition. Intuition is an internal navigator that will help to survive in the era of crises, changes, unpredictable development.
- Be individual. During the mixing of styles, individuality attracts and literally forces people to follow the leader.
- Master the craft. Profession in hand is insurance that will not allow you to be aground even in difficult moments of unemployment or lack of money.
- Do not be afraid of crises. All strong people went through periods of despair, decline, disappointment, depression, but managed to translate them into a positive direction.
Irina Khakamada is a businesswoman, a former presidential candidate, a successful politician and coach. But it’s not sharing tips, but working leadership tools that will help you develop your own business regardless of the circumstances.
Findings:
- Dominance - the desire to become the first and foremost in any field.
- The need for dominance is a basic human need.
- The alpha leader defines himself as "I am what I do," an omega slave: "I am what I think and say."
- Dominance has two diametrically opposed manifestations - leadership and tyranny.
- The master-slave relationship often leads to psychological and physical abuse.
- If you want to become a leader, you should heed the advice of people who have gone the way of leadership.
