People often ask me where I got the materials to create this site. Maybe I read some books, and I can advise them to people. Probably, I learned from certain mentors about whom I can tell you something?
In fact, my best teacher is not books, teachers, but human nature itself, which is in me and in all people. If we want to know the device of our car, then, better than studying numerous manuals, we need to open the hood ourselves and see what is inside. The same applies to man: what can we more eloquently tell about man than man himself, or rather human nature, which everyone can observe in himself? Why do we need hordes of words, tons of sentences and a whole heap of sophisticated concepts, while everything that we need to know about ourselves is already contained within us?
Problem of knowledge
Of course, it's not that simple. Here we may encounter a problem that many philosophers and researchers of all ages have stumbled over. Namely, with the problem of identity of the subject and the object of knowledge, if it comes to the knowledge of man himself. How can we know our psyche with the help of our own psyche, whose behavior is conditioned by emotions, habits, addictions? After all, the psyche introduces significant distortions and errors in the understanding of man himself. How to save the psyche from these pollution and addictions? Is it possible to turn it into a more perfect and accurate tool of knowledge than the one we have now?
In my opinion, yes. And the name of this method is meditation. I consider this fact and causes those gigantic breakthroughs in the understanding of man, which can be attributed to the ancient Eastern culture. Western psychology is only beginning to approach these discoveries at a snail's pace, moreover, in a roundabout way. What was available for the intuitive knowledge of the sages of antiquity, is still only being revealed to modern science, armed with the latest technologies and research methods.
I'm not talking about religion and traditional medicine, I'm talking about understanding the principles of the human psyche. I also cannot say that all Eastern philosophy understood this perfectly, but in some of its schools there were great ideas.
What ideas am I talking about?
The problem of modern science of man
For example, Western science has only recently learned that, it turns out, our thoughts and their color (negative or positive) affect both our mental and physical health. Studies have shown that manifestations of compassion and love have a beneficial therapeutic effect on the person who is experiencing these conditions. Moreover, compassion is not given from above, but it can be developed!
The sages of antiquity learned this long ago with the help of mere intuition, experience and observation. And modern applied science of man, despite all its technology and achievements, is in crisis. And the depth of this crisis is measured in tons of prescribed “pills for depression,” antidepressants, the number of production of which is growing every year.
Perhaps the fact that so many people experience some form of "pathological" mental pain (depression, anxiety, panic disorders) suggests that we are doing something wrong, we are going somewhere wrong. And the fact that we are massively trying to drown out this pain with pills, instead of listening to it and understanding its personal and social reasons, only testifies to the fact that many aspects of modern science about man do not know what the problem is and only competing in clever methods of masking the causes of this problem.
Is the massive use of pills not alarming anyone? Doesn’t it prove that we don’t know something? Do not know something important? People do not know this, science does not know it ...
Still, over the past few decades, progress has been observed in the field of psychotherapy, but many of its areas are still standing still, forming inertia, slowing the acceleration of the locomotive of knowledge.
Finally, science gradually ceases to abandon the experience of antiquity and increasingly turns to it, making it the subject of its research proven practices by many generations of people and rediscovering what has long been discovered. And these new discoveries of old truths as the world would have happened much earlier in our world, if we had at least temporarily discarded all our devices, books, and advice, and at least for a short time had devoted simply to observing what was happening inside us.
And what is happening with us, most likely, will occur in others, since in a fundamental sense, all people are the same ...
My little secret
I do not call to burn books and meditate all day long, trying to get to know yourself. Books are a huge benefit, it is a reflection of the experience of other people, with the help of which we will be able to supplement our own experience. But you can not rely only on this source of knowledge. We can learn the laws of physics and mathematics through books. But we only get to know ourselves through observation. After all, the subject of endless searching under the name "man" is inside each of us! Here he is! Everything is already contained in your nature, just look!
This is my little secret. My source of knowledge, which I refer to every day, and which serves as a much greater inspiration for my work than any books and teachers! You can also connect to this source every day. I assure you, there is much more information there than on the Internet. Of course, you will not learn from there about the events in the world, but you can learn a lot about a person, about yourself.
Depression school
If human nature became my school, then the depression and panic attacks that I experienced a few years ago were the best teachers in this school! Mental pain is the best mentor you can find! From him you will receive very valuable lessons.
And modern psychiatry, in my opinion, aims to come up with a way to skip these lessons. People, relying on the help of medicines, run away from this pain, suppress it, avoid meeting with it - this is where the entire psycho-pharmacology industry is built. But when you skip class, you won't learn anything. And then you are left for a second, and then for a third, for a fourth year. And so on to infinity. People do not want to learn from heartache, so she stays with them. She seems to be saying: "Look! You haven't learned anything about your problem! You still have a chance, so I will be with you for the time being!"
I understand that this is a very strict and strict teacher and not everyone wants to meet with him. He teaches a fairly sophisticated high school program. It is difficult to go through, but if you can handle it, you can easily master any other program.
Many people live their whole lives and do not learn anything, because they have no incentive to do so. But depression gives you a great chance to learn a lot! After all, she will not let you go until you understand something very important. Is it possible to come up with the best incentive for development?
But in order to learn from your heartache, you must first meet her. Listen carefully to her, calmly watch her, while staying away. You should learn to observe day after day, and then, over time, you will surely hear this message.
What have I learned?
What did my depression teach me? Thanks to her, I clearly understood that most of the problems and sufferings create my own mind. That my condition is directly related to the reaction of my mind to various experiences, such as fear. It changes if I do not respond to these experiences. And in general, I am not obliged to react to them: after all, fear, panic, despondency is not myself! I can just watch. Or do not pay attention to these things.
I saw how my thoughts, desires, plans are closely connected with my momentary state, as they rapidly change with him. How everything changes in me, never remaining constant.
And it became the most valuable knowledge in my life! Rather, not even knowledge, but experience, because I saw all this myself, by my own example. If it were not for this experience, there would be no this site. Therefore, I am so grateful that I had depression and panic attacks. If it were not for them, I would never have had an incentive to look under the hood of my psyche and understand what is happening there! Only a strong heartache could provoke me to this!
Depression and panic disorder are not only teachers, but also caregivers. Nothing escapes them! They help to look at themselves, realize their shortcomings. To see in oneself all prejudices, destructive habits of the mind, negative mental patterns that inhibit the development and prevent to achieve happiness. Thanks to these ailments, I saw from the side of my incessant anxiety, all-consuming laziness, dull stubbornness, blind thirst for pleasure along with the desire to run away from all that which does not bring instant pleasure.
Depression makes you look at your life and understand what is wrong in this life. She gave me the opportunity to see how much I work, and how little I rest, how I spend time ineptly, how often I am in a state of anger and resentment, how much bad habits I have. And how badly it all affects my life, causing these very states of mental pain.
It turns out as if in those moments when something wrong begins to happen with life, and we go astray, these teachers come to the rescue. But not all they come! And how lucky those whom they visit, whom they are willing to pass on their wisdom! But this wisdom can be painful. If you can’t accept her, if you don’t want to learn from her, then gradually she will cause you to feel discouraged and tired, like a boring lesson in which the student sees neither sense nor interest ...
What now?
For several years now, I have not suffered from panic disorder and depression. I began to sleep well at night and stopped needing alcohol and cigarettes to alleviate anxiety and relax my nerves.
But I can not say that I only do, that I enjoy life every moment. This, fortunately, is not. Everything changes, as I said. And the human condition is never permanent. There is always a place for bitterness, sadness and fear ... Once these teachers, having taught me the most important thing, left me. But at rare moments they return, though not in such a frightening form as before, and quickly leave me. And then I meet them with gratitude and desire to hear from them something else or to remember something that I already forgot.
When the despondency of a “silent spider creeps into the brain,” metamorphosis happens to me. It reminds me of how important it is to think more about other people, listen to them, understand their desires, wish them well, refrain from criticism and malice.
At such moments I begin to talk less about myself and listen more to my interlocutor. I become more attentive to people and start to think less about my problems, about what is bad and sad for me. I pay attention to the accumulated anger, notice hidden insults and try not to follow their lead.
Bitterness and longing change me, transform me. They make me a better person!
I remember how important it is not to succumb to despondency, not to drown in this whirlpool, not to dwell on negative thoughts, realizing that all these are temporary phenomena that will pass just as they began.
Perhaps my teachers again want to tell me that I am tired and I need rest or I need to review my work schedule. Maybe I’m a little bit more irritated again or something else bothers me about what I need to think about or what I need to decide.
With the old mentors, I again and again go through the previous lessons, but already briefly, as if fixing the material already passed, adding to it some new knowledge. Or again they are then to point out to me the problems in my life that I myself do not notice.
And then I try to learn the lessons and remain grateful to my teachers!
