We all heard the sayings "Want to change the world - start with yourself" or "The man - the blacksmith of his happiness"If we could control our happiness from all sides, this concept would lose its meaning. For example, it is impossible to control luck or natural magnetism. However, many qualities that can be learned are knowledge of oneself, confidence in one’s talents, ability to communicate with others inner peace can make us happy. And all these qualities come to us from the inside. How to assemble your life from small fragments of joy, success, well-being, harmony? How to join the flow of change? There are several simple but useful tips. They will be discussed.
Neurolinguistics is a new science at the intersection of psychology, neurology and linguistics. Neurolinguist scientists are exploring what is happening in our heads when we speak. They are convinced that for communication language is not needed at all. Infusoria, for example, is enough to simply wave tentacles. Words need our brains to describe things that no one has seen: higher mathematics or eternal love, for example. With the help of words we create our own software, software, as programmers would say.
How does our internal software (program) work? Everything that surrounds us, once existed only in imagination. Steve Jobs came up with an iPhone, and the Wright brothers - the plane. And if the plane had at least some kind of prototype, then nobody heard about computers. Steve Jobs created them in his reality to make part of the lives of millions of people.
How can we change ourselves? We can fix ourselves. Change part of the code in the software of your consciousness, and the software will work in a new way. There are millions of tips on how to do this and no exact recipe. We must try, if only because ...
All that you have - you came up with it long ago
Remember your impression of avant-garde art. You look at the picture - you accidentally put paint on it. You look at the price tag with six zeros, but no, they drew it. Why is that? Because the author of the picture in his reality is a great artist. He creates and evaluates paintings from this point of view. And you are a loser whose place is in a boring office. And this is your reality.
We invent our world since childhood. We give meaning to concepts that cannot be touched. What is good and evil, history and philosophy? The first unsuccessful experience in love creates a new reality: "I am a loser, I have no luck with girls." With this reality, we are again and again trying to build relationships, we are convinced that we are right and stop believing.
The simplest thing is to tell yourself: “create yourself, create another reality. Add new ideas to old thoughts and act, act”. The internal broadcast immediately begins to broadcast: "What reality? Do you even know what you want?" Here begins the first stupor: we live so fast, we rapidly eat, instantly make friends and divorce that we simply do not have time to understand what we love. But ...
Understanding is a new reality.
We are afraid to waste your time on trifles. We dream of a luxury car and have no rights, we dream of a beautiful prince and we are afraid to leave our native village. Everything is the same with desires: when you try to wish for a perfect body, your own body goes limp in the direction of the sofa. If the goal or dream is too big - we are afraid to even think about it, because we are waiting for failure.
Try to wish small: sit in a small cafe, order coffee and cake, which is always looked through the window. You have not dreamed about him, but if it exists - you can want it. Then you may want to walk an extra stop. So in your reality will walk. But walking one stop for a month is no longer an achievement. Although…
Grow in the side - also evolve
If we do not complicate our goals, we do not develop. We practice skills, calm down and stop being proud of ourselves. Perhaps this is why workers are so unhappy who have to constantly do the same job.
If a person does not grow - he degrades. If a fence becomes on the tree's growth path - it starts to grow at random, sideways - anywhere. It grows. We can not afford this luxury - to grow just like that. We read books, posts, went to a couple of trainings and understand: we need a goal. But behind the constant haste, we simply do not see it.
And then the inner voice (good, it works without days off) sends a new message: "stop, think what you want" and ...
Take a pause just think
Remember the serene childhood? When you lie and look at the clouds. Kids love to dream. They climb trees, sit on the banks of the stream, find a hidden cliff to think about life.
From time to time, the most successful businessmen allow themselves such luxury: in the middle of a working day, stay alone with themselves for an hour. They are not afraid of puzzled looks. Not afraid to fall out of the pace of life. They represent their rock.
Such moments do not come just like that. They need to prepare for them: think about the place and time, work through the situation, write down possible questions to yourself. And it is better not to write abstractly (after all, no one hears you, you don’t need to make a smart face). Better to do it easier, because ...
Being clear is not being primitive.
A familiar situation: you send a letter with instructions to 10 addresses. Five subordinates do everything as you expected, four make mistakes, and one does not understand the task at all. How does this work?
This is the whole complexity of the conversation. We use the same words, but we give much greater meaning to the meaning or context. It is necessary to take into account everything: what we say, to whom we say, what our mood is, whether there is a history of previous relationships and what we think about each other. We love to complicate things. Therefore, we use the phrase:
| You don't appreciate me | Instead: I gave you a gift, I want to get something nice from you |
| You underestimate me | Instead: I did 50% of the work, why didn't they give me the award along with everyone else? |
| All women are bitches | Instead: Do not yell at me, I hear you |
| All children are like children, but I have a blockhead | Instead: tidy up the room, walk the dog, otherwise you will not get the password from the wifi. |
Sometimes you just need to talk to a person in his language. And then questions will be solved much faster. Let the experiences on "how I will look at this" do not bother you. The inner voice at the right time will say ...
Calm down, others don't care about you
Sensitive people are full in every company. They tell how afraid they are to go to the gym, because everyone will point their finger at them. Or always get into unpleasant situations.
So, others think first of all about themselves, about their problems. In the hall, nobody cares about you. And the boss is angry not at your report, but because his car’s crumpled bumper. Sometimes the actions of others and the mood of others are in no way connected with us. These are just different things. The best thing you can do in this situation: think about your own. Because not to think at all is even more difficult. Just switch the toggle switch of your own internal radio to a pleasant wave and ...
Turn off the radio of doubt
A single victory inspires. For example, you decide to eat less today. installed a program on a smartphone and spent the whole day celebrating calories in it. The next day, proudly showed the result to friends. A day later, already about him and did not remember. Here the radio of doubts is turned on: "you are a loser. You never bring something not half to the end". Irritation causes irritation from irritation. This increased emotion leads to depression.
The broadcast of your own radio can not be interrupted. Just in the general stream of thoughts, it is worth finding one supporting one: “but you did endure one day. Others didn’t do that either.” Gradually, the irritation disappears. Instead of disgruntled subordinates and relatives, you get return smiles along with support. Because…
A small change today in ten years will be a significant achievement.
You need to take care of yourself: make pauses, fulfill small desires, do not complicate life where there is no need for it.
People change gradually. But in twenty or forty years we will be completely different people, with different priorities and dreams, although now it is difficult to believe.
If you can not immediately adjust the broadcast to the desired wavelength, just try changing channels. Today turn on "small achievements" and tomorrow find a wave of "start with yourself." When you realize that you can change your life yourself, it becomes immediately easy. Someone has already passed this way. So you can.
