From time immemorial, men's treason attributed to "instincts" and nobly forgave, but women's treason everywhere condemned and shamed the traitor.
But now society is rapidly moving towards gender equality, and the weak half of humanity rid of prejudice and can respond to treason.
Psychology and causes
Why do some women have a desire to change their spouse?
Women's treason - This is a controversial phenomenon.
If male adultery is due to a greater degree of physiological need, then female adultery often has deep motives and contradictory motives.
- Sexual dissatisfaction. If a man is an egoist who does not care that a woman gets pleasure in bed, the wife can find a lover. Search for ways to get satisfaction can and those women who are married for a long time and are experiencing a period of "cold" in the relationship. Sex problems of the husband can also cause "trips to the left."
- Long separation. If the husband leaves regularly for long business trips, has left for work in another city / country, or is simply constantly on business trips, the woman may not endure the separation. Especially if the wife has a hot temperament and is sexually active.
In this case, cheating is not just a way to gain physical satisfaction, but also an overlapping need for male attention / love / admiration.
- Labor isolation. Women who have abandoned their careers and run a household are more likely to change others. Constant home imprisonment causes boredom, the husband ceases to be interested in his wife, who has “only pots on her mind,” and the possibilities to manifest themselves are reduced to zero. As a result, a woman kills boredom and increases her self-esteem at the expense of her lover.
- Revenge. Wives often try to save the marriage for the sake of the children, even in those cases if they have learned about the betrayal of the husband. And sometimes men repent of their wrongdoings and seek forgiveness from the wife. But if the fragile peace is restored in words, and the traitor was allowed into the family again, this does not mean that the woman was able to survive the betrayal. Perhaps an offended woman wants revenge and chooses a sophisticated way to do this — hit the offender with his own weapon.
- Low self-esteem. Entering into intimate relationships is the best way to prove that a woman is beautiful and desirable.
Therefore, sometimes the representatives of the weaker sex have sex only in order to raise their self-esteem, enjoying not even the process itself, but the fact of arousing a partner.
Is it worth doing?
Should I cheat on my husband? Treason is a complex topic. Someone she helps to restore spiritual harmony and forgive betrayal, equalizing. And someone repent of his life all his life, not daring to tell the second half.
"Behind"
Positive moment treason is that if a woman is married to a tyrant husband, a lover will give her joy, love and drive.
And these emotions can later lead to the fact that the unhappy wife decide to dissolve a marriage with an unloved man.
Also, if a woman is accustomed to live by the principle of "an eye for an eye" and has a high self-esteem, response treason help her survive a stab in the back from the husband.
Another condition in which adultery can help is a marriage in which sex is absent due to male sexual failure (illness, injury, early impotence, etc.).
A woman loves her husband and does not want to divorce, but at the same time she does not intend to give up sex life.
A lover will help solve this problem and save the family. However, a woman will have to make a difficult choice: hide her relationship or speak frankly with her husband.
"Vs"
Treason can be committed as emotion-driven deedwhich does not carry the meaning and will lead to repentance.
Sometimes a woman experiences hard feelings after betrayal, feeling used (especially if her husband was her first man).
High moral principles and traditional education lead to the fact that the presence of a lover makes the representative of the weak half of humanity "Dirty" and "insignificant" in their own eyes.
If the cheater decided to hide the fact of betrayal, she would have to keep a secret from everyone, remember and consistently retell her "legend" if necessary.
Treason can lead to a feeling of false love, developed on the background of adrenaline, resentment, etc.
If the situation goes far enough, the woman will file for divorce and go to her “prince”, but later realizes that he was mistaken and destroyed a strong marriage.
"An eye for an eye"
Do I need to change my husband just because he cheated on you?
Perhaps the first reaction to treason will be desire for revenge.
A misunderstanding, a feeling of acute resentment, as if frozen in the throat from cold and misunderstanding.
Why did he do that? But what about the years together? How oaths and happy moments? And the difficulties that have only become a memory due to joint work? A swarm of thoughts is spinning in my head, pushing for retaliation.
But sharing these thoughts means making a mistake. When the first and sharp emotions subside, the woman will have to look at the situation with a sober look.
And perhaps she will regard her husband’s deed quite differently, be able to forgive or find a way to restore internal balance. But if by this time a woman already finds a lover, the situation cannot be rectified.
Effects
The consequences of adultery depend both on the nature of the woman herself and on degree of awareness of men.
Husband knows about treason
If the husband found out about treason himself or from his wife, he can not forgive a woman of such an act (after all, men are more acutely experiencing the intimate bond of their half on the side).
As a result, an attempt to restore justice will lead to divorce, financial instability (if the husband provides the wife), psychological trauma in children (if the spouses have common babies).
There is another possible scenario in which spouses retain marriagebut can not forgive each other.
A man who is piously convinced that he is right (according to most men, the stronger sex has the right to be polygamous) and that his wife is a sinner, who allowed herself a dissolute relationship. This implies tense family environment, quarrels from scratch and reproaches.
Man doesn't know anything
If the spouse has brought his wife much grief, she will be satisfied by punishing him by treason. But if the husband is generally a good man, a woman will suffer from remorse.
She will have to hide her adventures, invent legends and constantly worry about the danger of being declassified. All this will lead to neurosis, nervous breakdowns and emotional instability.
The danger of female adultery lies in the fact that women are traditionally inculcated with the conviction that “having sex is bad and dirty.” Against this background, many of the fair sex clips, complexes develop etc.
Well, what can we say about treason, even if sex with a lawful husband causes remorse.
Woman, suffering from destructive installations, after treason, he simply puts a cross on himself and closes himself, experiencing a constant feeling of shame and incredible remorse.
rules
What you need to remember:
- Do not forget about your spouse. If attention is drastically shifted from her husband to her lover, the rightful spouse will feel that something is wrong. And looking into the burning eyes of his wife's happiness and her cool behavior in bed, he will begin to suspect the faithful.
At home everything should remain as before (both in everyday life and in relationships), so that the changes would not hurt my husband's eyes.
- Do not be afraid. You can not flinch with each message received, as well as blush, meeting on the street like a man lover. Keep yourself confident and calm in any situation.
- Carefully plan and verify information.. No need to succumb to the temptation and arrange a hot date in his apartment an hour before the arrival of her husband. It is necessary to stock up on time, invent a legend, prepare a meeting place, etc. Do not also lose sight of her husband, meeting with her lover. Find out in advance where the spouse will be and what he will do.
- Choose the "right" lover. Make sure that your new partner does not plan to develop relationships, is fully adequate, and is interested in keeping secrets. He must also be resourceful in order to play along with you if necessary.
- Destroy information. Erase call history, delete SMS and correspondence. Do not add a lover in social networks. It is advisable not to keep gifts from the “lover on the side” at home.
- Do not be frank. The less people know about the lover, the better. Friends and girlfriends may spill over on purpose or by chance.
- Deny everything. Even if you are almost caught by the hand, boldly deny everything.
You should not also respond to the words of the husband that "If you confess, I will forgive everything."
Don't lie like that. A little lie begets big. And it is very difficult to control this avalanche if your memory is not ideal. Sooner or later, the husband will notice the gaps and inaccuracies in the stories of his wife.
How to get rid of remorse?
I want to change my husband, but does not allow conscience. If you are being chased by remorse of conscience, you should:
- analyze the situation and find the cause of treason (this will help to justify yourself in your own eyes and avoid further mistakes);
- say goodbye to all the reminders of the deed (underwear that you surprised your lover, a cafe for general meetings, a favorite part of the embankment, etc. should no longer come across to you);
- confess to a loved one (if there is someone who will carefully keep your secret and will not blame for their actions);
- redeem your fault care about her husband, tenderness and love.
No one is immune from treason. Mistakes happen even to the strongest people.characterized by high moral principles.
You should not execute yourself for what you have done, especially if adultery occurred out of love and helped you to get rid of the shackles of an unhappy marriage.
Well, if the love for her husband has not cooled, make every effort to restore family harmony. In this case, betrayal will be a cruel lesson that will help revive the marriage with his beloved.
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