Some psychologists believe that jealousy is not a bad feeling either: it helps to move forward and makes one work on oneself. Actually, this is not at all the case: envy is destructive in order to help a person with something.
An acquaintance of the author helped ... envy to get rid of jealousy and anger. Having become the object of jealousy several times, which Polina herself was not alien to this feeling, understood how unpleasant it was. But there are other methods of how to get rid of the feeling of envy without harming yourself.
Where does it come from
Before you get rid of jealousy and anger, you should understand where it comes from. None of us is born envious simply because young children, by definition, consider themselves beautiful. And then the requirements come into force: parents, educators, teachers. This is where the child’s comparisons with other children begin. Firstly, parents have expectations of how the child should be, secondly, according to adults, such comparisons should create healthy competition and help the child develop “correctly,” or rather adjust themselves to the standards of society, school, family. In practice, the child which is compared with others and rarely praised, learns that he is worse than others ...
Everything becomes aggravated in adolescence, when a student actively compares himself with others and seeks to assert himself in a cruel adolescent team. Here, too, the role of parents is important. Instead of helping the child find inner harmony, parents go all out to buy him the same iPhone as their classmates, fashionable outfits that may not suit the teenager completely, etc. ... And it is important not to dismiss problems, but to explain a simple thing: unfortunately, the possibilities for people are initially unequal, but this does not mean that someone is worse than others. There are no norms and standards on how to live, so the rules are set only by us and only on the basis of our capabilities, which means that we should be ourselves better than ever ...
Also, the appearance of this feeling can be guilty for the desire to have everything at once, low self-esteem, inability to appreciate what we have and many more internal problems. But how to stop envy and live your life if the problem is already rooted inside?
Stop comparing yourself to others.
First of all, this will not make you any better. Secondly, do not forget that the possibilities are really different for everyone and if something is not given to you somewhere, then you may never be able to get it. Pay attention to what is given and is and develop just that.
But to never compare yourself with anyone else, do not let others do it.
Secondly, learn to be critical of those whom you envy and compare yourself with. So, if you envy a successful friend in your personal life, who has an ideal relationship with her spouse, you can remember how long she was looking for her half and was lonely. The same goes for looks. Believe to get a slender figure plasticity and grace in the movements under the force of even those whom nature did not give it. Here everything is in your hands.
If the object of envy is a celebrity with an ideal appearance, then there is nothing to say: their spectacular images are a long work of stylists, directors, lighting masters, cameramen and photoshop masters, therefore in everyday life famous beauties can be quite different.
If envy arises when viewing photos of people unknown to you in social networks, devote to this occupation a maximum of half an hour a week and not more. It's just that life on social networks or on television and real life are two different universes, and who knows, maybe the lifestyle that propagandizes glossy magazines does not fit you perfectly.
Rejoice at what is available
Here you can tell a lot about the fact that in prison one saw the stars, and the other - puddles and dirt ... This is really so. Many people do not know how to read, but you can, and this gives many possibilities. And maybe someone is jealous of the fact that you do not accept for good.
You can even periodically record everything that you are grateful for. Get a journal for thanks and sometimes look into it.
Have fun
Think about what you can do to buy the same car as your neighbor (or to get the same beautiful legs as your sister). It will be even better and more productive to evaluate your strengths and start developing them. A war with flaws is not as effective as highlighting strengths. So do everything to develop your own talents, and not to acquire those that you do not have ...
Visualize
It is quite normal that you so want something that you do not have. But if you can imagine and visualize whatever you want, then program yourself for good luck. Simply put, if you want to become president, feel that you are and behave as if you are already in the presidential chair ...
Despite our unequal opportunities, you are given no less than any other person.
