A friend asks again to take the child out of the kindergarten and sit with him for an hour while she goes on business, at work one shift is replaced by another, and the neighbor Zinaida Petrovna once again kindly asks her to drop a newspaper from the mailbox and at the same time water the flowers at the entrance. Every day there is less and less time for themselves, urgent business accumulates, alternating with even more urgent tasks, the dishes are idle unwashed, and the people around continue to blithely ask about services. Familiar?
Such situations occur quite often, and if one or two times we can help, then saving the world like Superman every day is very tiring. How to explain to colleagues, boss, friends or relatives that they will have to decide some things on their own? How to motivate yourself to say no? For many of us, this word is still something impolite and even rude, and meanwhile, the ability to prioritize and discard "alien monkeys" can save personal time for our own needs.
Ase.
You are afraid to voice out loud refusal - train. Say the word "no" as long as you are not close to him, confidently and without a shudder in your voice. Do not think how others will react to your refusal, do not make excuses and do not apologize. Start with small things and then more global failures will be made easier.
How to say no to friends and family.
We all have the same amount of time, only we manage it differently. Ask yourself, why does anyone allow themselves to solve their problems at your expense? Yes, indeed, friendship is mutual support. However, many people go too far and sit on the neck with unnecessary visits and chatter on the phone for a few hours, or even ask to go somewhere, pick up something, and away ... Is it worth solving other people's problems that might not have happened in your life, say “no” in time? The ability to say no to family and friends characterizes you as a mature person who values his time and has a clear life position, while reliable people are rarely respected, and their help and services are taken for granted.
How to say no at work.
We all work in a hired job or an entrepreneur, in a large or small team and must act within the framework of job descriptions. Alas, more often than not, the terms of reference of each employee are not indicated in the documents, which makes it possible for colleagues or superiors to give up tasks and projects that should have been prepared "yesterday," "urgently," and "nosebleed."
Politely refuse a colleague as follows:
- Sometimes it's enough just to say no. To utter this word without rudeness, calmly and confidently, without slipping into excuses and excuses.
- Politely say no, explain to your colleague that you are currently doing other work and are ready to switch to his task, provided that your immediate superior approves it.
Do not let yourself be deceived with the phrases "yes it is only five minutes" and "I would have done it myself, but ...". As a rule, they strive to get rid of either a tedious and burdensome task, or a complex and laborious one. Both can eat a lot of time.
Practice shows that units reach the head. And even in this case, you have the opportunity to discuss with the authorities the issue of increasing the load and additional compensation. Any employment contract includes the line: "processing paid separately."
And if the head asks? Take a look: do all your colleagues spend the night in the office and live in the workmanship mode? If so, it will be useless to fight the system. But if only your kind soul is exploited, it is necessary to refuse and to register your position at the same time as tactfully as possible.
Tell me straight out that you are not ready to take on tasks outside of your area of responsibility, but always help to cope with force majeure. Argue your position, be confident and calm. Find out priorities: what is more important for a manager, your current work or the one he gives. Explain that the quality directly depends on the time spent on the work and that the framework of the working day suggests the possibility of fulfilling a strictly defined amount. If you add more projects beyond it, the quality of the whole work will suffer, which will affect the department and the company.
When recycling becomes the norm, the decision to change jobs or ask for additional incentives in the form of time off or additional payments belongs entirely to you.
It is important to realize that you refuse to deliberate. It is often difficult to say "no", because there is an internal uncertainty, the person himself does not know what he wants, and cannot understand what he needs. In this case, honesty will be the best guide. Look inside yourself and ask: "Do I want to make changes to reports that I did not write, overtime on Friday night? Or would I spend the only day off to prepare someone else's presentation?" Love yourself, and the ability to refuse will come naturally.
