When you were playing a wedding, you probably thought that you would live happily ever after.
But in family life is anything, for example, a young lover of a married woman may appear. Let's look at this situation from different angles.
Why does she need him?
Why does a married woman get a lover?
How is it that my wife suddenly decided have an affair on the side?
Why such a situation can occur at all? Psychologists identify the following reasons:
- She was bored. Perhaps her husband does not pay enough attention to her, is too busy with work or other concerns.
- Her husband does not satisfy her in bed. Sex has become too monotonous or rare.
- She wants to feel her feminine power again. See that she is still beautiful and can fall in love with a young guy.
- This is a common curiosity. What is it? What are your emotions? Will you manage to hide everything from her husband? This effect of the game often attracts women.
- She does not like that her husband earns a little. Therefore, she found a rich man on the side who is ready to give her presents and give huge sums, if only she was happy.
- She is tired of life and wants romance. Relations with a husband have long become a routine. Nothing new, continuous life.
And with a lover, mysterious romantic meetings, dinner by candlelight and no dirty dishes and trash can. Such freshness in relationships is very attractive for women.
- She fell in love. She was met by a guy who was so dizzy in her head that even the oaths given at the altar did not stop her.
- She wants to attract the attention of her husband. To cause him jealousy and some kind of emotion.
- She wants revenge for treason. The husband himself went to the side or continues to do it. For some reason, she does not want to divorce, but the desire for revenge leads her to have an affair with a young lover.
Why do women have lovers? Find out from the video:
Is it worth it to start?
Definitely not. If you are not satisfied with the relationship with your husband, then do not torment yourself, or him, or the young guy with whom you want to have an affair.
Find the courage to end the relationship, file for a divorce, and only then can you walk as you please.
How to find a lover if you are married?
If you still decide to have a lover, then do it wisely. Here are some tips:
- Do not have an affair with a work colleague, a friend of your husband, or your mutual acquaintances. In such a situation, the likelihood of being exposed is very high;
- be careful with dating sites and social networking with strangers. You do not know who is actually hiding behind a profile picture;
- go to a dance club or fitness room. This is a neutral place where you can meet a good guy for relations on the side.
Is it worth getting a lover? Relations bioenergy:
I love another, but I can not leave my husband: what to do?
How to choose one?
How to choose between a husband and a lover?
Whatever it was, if there was a choice between a lover and a husband, then this is a very difficult situation. What to do? How to decide?
- Even if the husband has not yet learned about the existence of your lover, understand that it can't go on like this anyway.
Sooner or later, either the spouse finds out about everything, or the lover gets tired of his status, and he will put you before a choice.
- Approach this situation rationally. If a man is a good lover, it does not mean that he will become a good partner for you in a long and serious relationship. Now you are especially attracted by the mystery and passion, but it will pass and what will you have left? Are you ready to create a new family with this man?
- Analyze why you started an affair at all. Are you tired of routine and life? And the lover helped add fresh sensations to your life? And besides this, he attracts you with something? Perhaps you will understand that it is worth working on your relationship with your husband, to refresh them, and not to look for new emotions on the side.
- Analyze your relationship with your husband. What are you experiencing for him now? Do you truly love him or is it just a habit? Maybe feelings are long gone, but are you afraid of breaking the relationship? Talk to him about it, together you will understand whether you can work on relationships or get a better divorce.
- It is impossible to love two at once. Therefore, honestly answer yourself the question to which of these two men do you really have real and sincere feelings? Let your heart choose.
Is it possible to combine?
Husband and lover - how to combine?
How to combine a husband and lover? How to hide the intrigue on the side?
- Try to do everything carefully so that your husband does not begin to suspect you. Therefore, if he asks why you returned home so late, come up with a plausible and non-trivial reason.
Do not say "stayed at work" or "went to visit a friend" - this can cause suspicion. And it's easy to check.
- Behave naturally. Do not start suddenly giving presents, if you have not done this before. No need to engage in sycophancy. A sudden change of behavior can alert the spouse.
- Meet your lover in the daytime. Your absence in the marital bed will certainly cause questions to your husband.
- Do not appear with a lover together in crowded places. You can see friends or acquaintances of the husband. Therefore, going to restaurants or theater is clearly not for you. Rent a hotel room or meet in an apartment that nobody knows about. Just go in and out of the doorway or the hotel individually - no one should see you together.
- Make sure you do not have things lover. If he forgets his jacket or, for example, an umbrella, then the husband will definitely be interested in who owns it and how you turned out to be.
- Check your spouse's schedule. What time does it work, on what days does it go to the gym when visiting parents? The better you know his schedule, the less chance you will get caught.
- Do not bring a lover to your home. Under no circumstances. Even if the husband left for a week and definitely will not return ahead of time. Not worth the risk!
- Do not write the number of a lover in a notebook, do not leave his things or photos as a keepsake. How do you then explain this to your husband if he accidentally finds it?
- Best of all, if your intrigue on the side does not last too long. Otherwise you will become attached to this guy and then it will bring a lot of problems.
Moreover, there is a high probability that the lover will want more, will start to be jealous of you and demand to make a choice.
I'm pregnant by lover
It is also possible that intrigue on the side will lead you to pregnancy. What to do?
- Now you are scared, you can panic and perform rash actions. therefore the first thing to do is calm down.
- Now think carefully about the situation. Do you want to leave a child? Who will you grow it with? Do you confess to your husband or lover in all this?
- It's time to decide. This is the moment when you really need to choose with whom you will continue to live together. But think carefully about this moment. If a lover is good in bed, this does not mean that he will be a good husband and father.
- Yes, you have already stepped on a slippery slope, deceived your husband and hid another man from him. But now is the time to be honest. If you decide to leave the child, then you need to tell your husband how it is. He has the right to know. Yes, it's hard. Yes, his reaction may be unpredictable.
But do not make him in ignorance raise another child as his own.
Is it possible to love two? Opinion of a clinical psychologist:
Psychology tips to the affected side
Found his wife's correspondence with her lover. Have you accidentally discovered that your wife is talking to another man and there is clearly more than friendship? What to do in this situation?
- Most likely now you are experiencing a storm of emotions. You hurt But do not let jealousy and anger take over you. Calm down and get your thoughts in order.
- Call your wife for an honest conversation. Sit down and tell us that you have seen this correspondence and now is the time to admit everything. Be prepared that she will deny and deny everything. Explain to her what you are feeling at the moment. Achieve honesty.
- The final step will be an attempt together to find a way out of this situation.. Can you continue to be together, even if trust is undermined?
Wife wants a lover. If the wife sincerely confessed to you that she wants a lover or you somehow found out about it, then the situation is very difficult.
Psychologists advise the following:
- Think carefully can you live with this womanknowing that she is sleeping with someone on the side. If this suits you in principle, then why not?
But this scenario is possible only if you really are not jealous and close your eyes to it.
- If you know for sure that you cannot stand such an attitude - do not torture yourself. Talk to your wife, say that you can not live like this.
Wife came home with a lover. It also happens that the wife simply declares home with her lover. What to do in this case?
- Do not let emotions take over. Do not pounce on the lover and do not shout at the wife.
- Sew the lover. Now he is superfluous. You need to solve the problem in private with your wife.
- Talk to your wife honestly and sincerely.. Most likely she decided to take this step because she could no longer live in a lie, but she simply could not find a better way for recognition. Find out from her why she decided to start a relationship on the side? And decide whether you can work on your family life or it has come to an end.
Wife got pregnant from her lover. It is not easy to know that my wife has a lover.
But it is even more difficult to accept the fact that she is pregnant from him. How to respond?
- Best of all you now take a pause and think about the situation. Otherwise, you can do something that you will surely regret afterwards. Imagine a different development of events and you will understand what you want.
- Consider whether you can raise another child. After all, he will constantly remind of his wife’s infidelity. Therefore, agree to such a step only if you treat him as your own, and you will not blame either the child or your spouse for what happened.
Mom changes dad with her lover. If you find out that mom is cheating on dad, then for sure you now feel pain and resentment. Therefore, the first thing you need to calm down.
After that, go to your mom and tell that you all know and how you feel about it. But the conversation must be sincere and calm. Do not raise your voice and do not go into hysterics.
Just explain that you consider this a betrayal. And share how you see further developments.
In no case do not tell anything about dad. All-this is a relationship between two people, for sure you don’t even know a lot about it, so you shouldn’t get into it.
How to get rid of the lover of his wife? So, you have learned about the existence of a wife's lover, but do not intend to give up. What to do in this case?
- Talk to your spouse. Tell her that you know everything, but do not want to let her go and hope to improve relations. Try to find out the reason from her: why did she take such a step and decided to commit adultery? Find out if she is ready to save the family and stop seeing the man?
- Start looking after yourself. Analyze yourself, with both appearance and character traits. If you want to return your wife to the family, then you need to work on yourself and become better than the man with whom she had an affair.
- Change your attitude towards your wife. Remember how it was when you first started dating. Think about how happy you were when you made an offer and married her. Why has everything changed? Perhaps you are separated from each other? Began to treat his wife as a routine?
- Pay attention to her. Give flowers, make compliments, carry them on your hands, give presents - even if it’s trite, but your wife will be very pleased. With such a husband, she will forget to think about looking at the side.
The decision to have a lover is a serious step. Therefore, be sure to think over everything so that the situation is not out of control.
Exit from the love triangle - family psychotherapy: