What to do if in his sincere and deep feelings he admits to whom no reciprocal sympathy or love?
In such a situation it is very difficult to respond with a categorical refusal, because you can injure a person.
But evade explanations, giving false hopeis also pointless and rather cruel. So what to do?
What is fraught with gross failure?
Why is it important to refuse politely without offending a person?
Get rid of the annoying fan or fan possible with the help of coarseness and rigidity.
So a man in love is aware of the hardness of your intentions and retreat. But what will such tactics lead to?
Guilt
Rough failure - it always hurts. And in this case, negative emotions with a wave cover both the victim of unfortunate love and the reciprocating side. After all, immediately after a difficult conversation comes a sense of guilt.
Conscience regularly recalls that you hurt a person who treats you well and does not deserve such treatment.
But apologies after voiced harsh words will out of placeAfter all, repentance does not help raise a person’s self-esteem and return his disposition.
End of friendship
If a person who has unexpectedly confessed feelings, you have a friend / girlfriend, gross failure will destroy companionship.
In this situation, the further vector of communication will depend on how gently and tactfully you refuse the offer to meet.
Tough wording will drive a man in love "in the corner". Former boyfriend / girlfriend will start to avoid you, so as not to feel a sense of burning shame for their audacious confession and bold hopes.
Trampled self-esteem
It is worth remembering that a man in love not guilty of what was not your taste. Therefore, you should not underestimate his / her self-esteem through ridicule, rudeness.
An ill-conceived and careless refusal, accompanied by unpleasant and poignant remarks, can ruin the further life of a disappointed fan.
Man just can't build harmonious relationships because of the evolved complexes and fears.
Unpredictable reaction
Confess your feelings very difficult.
To accept a negative answer is even more difficult. At such moments, the nerves are strung like a string.
Therefore, it is not worth risking and provoking a person through rude and disrespectful language.
After all he may inadequately respond, spoil your mood or even harm (albeit not quite consciously).
Psychological advice to girls: how to refuse?
Boy walk
How to gently refuse the boy offers to take a walk? The easiest way is to refer to business and care, firmly and politely refusing to meet.
And if the guy continues to persuade you to set aside half an hour for a date, it's better interrupt the conversation, (stating that the time has come to carry out the previously mentioned cases).
It is important not to flirt with a guy, not to take the initiative. This does not help mitigate the failure. Such behavior will only push the guy to the idea that you have an interest in him.
Guy meet
how politely refuse man or man to meet without offending him?
To pull with a refusal and avoid a delicate subject is to give a false hope to a man in love.
It’s better to deal with this issue right away in order to don't torment the fan their deathly silence or contrived doubts.
The guy must understand that your refusal is a firm and deliberate decision, and not trying to fill your own worth. Therefore, it is necessary to openly voice a refusal in a personal meeting, while avoiding witnesses.
If a guy is a significant figure in your life (friend, colleague, good acquaintance, partner in the sports section, etc.), then you should honestly admit the reasons for refusal.
Not ready for a relationship? Long and secretly in love with another? Want to concentrate on your studies or career? Do you see only a friend in him? Any reason has the right to exist. And an adequate guy will take her with dignity.
Well, if a person is not so important and close, or too persistently trying to achieve a positive response, you can slightly embellish the situation. It is enough to inform the young man that you already have a man or a husband so that he will give up attempts to conquer your heart.
Speak seriously, but do not seek to offend a person. Do not criticize his appearance, character, style of courtship, etc. You should also avoid abusive or abusive words.
Married man
how tactfully refuse a married man man?
Immediately give up the idea of hinting or openly telling a married man that you can report his "adventures" to his wife. This can provoke aggression.
In this situation, you can only refer to own moral principles. Directly state that you can not meet with a married man.
If a man is too persistent, you can tell him that the relationship for the sake of pleasure does not interest you. The main goal for this period is to find family contender and the birth of children.
In such cases, the “married women” quickly withdraw themselves, as they are in search of a sexual partner, and not a life partner.
What phrases are suitable for refusal?
A polite refusal should include a passing positive assessment (to the guy or his attempts to please you) and good reason for refusal.
At the same time, the reason for the refusal should not be “tied” to the guy and his personal qualities / characteristics. Otherwise it will sound very rude.
Polite Denial Templates:
- “I am very pleased with your efforts, but at the moment I am not ready for a relationship and I want to focus on my career”;
- “You are a wonderful man, but I love another person and I cannot reciprocate with you”;
- “I value communication with you, but I don’t feel love or love”;
- “I appreciate your efforts, but I do not see us as a couple, since we are completely different people”;
- “I am now experiencing a rather complicated and intense period of life. I am pleased to know about your sympathy for me, but I absolutely do not want to start a romantic relationship and plan to devote all my free time to business. ”
How to be convincing if the gentleman is too persistent?
No need to actively make contact. Attempts to convince a person of lack of feelings, to reason and persuade to leave you alone may look like flirting.
The boy in love, blinded by feelings, will be sure that your answers (even with a clear negative color) are a reflection of his chance of winning.
Concretize. Perhaps you formulated the refusal is not entirely clear. The reluctance to go to the movies together is not yet an indication of your indifference.
Do your best bring your position to the guy. He should understand that his candidacy is not considered as a lover, and further attempts / persecutions will not give positive results.
If in their desire to achieve the location of a fan crossing permissible limits, you must inform parents / friends / relevant authorities. Indeed, inadequate behavior can result in any dangerous actions.
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Practical advice guys: how to refuse a girl?
The girls, confessing their feelings, are in a deliberately weak position.
According to the society, the fair sex should not be proactive.
And any step forward for the girl is a kind of feat. Therefore, the guy must be extremely tactful in order not to destroy the delicate emotional balance and self-esteem of the fan at the time of recognition.
How beautiful refuse the girl in the offer to meet? In this case, the reasons for refusal that do not apply to the girl will work well.
But do not use stamps. After all, the cutting word "you are not the problem" immediately hinting at a guy's mockery.
Girls willingly believe guys who give up the relationship because of their own frivolity. If a fan understands that her lover cannot deny herself the pleasure of giving attention to each attendee, she herself will stop trying to get close.
Also, the guy can refuse because at the moment is focused only on self-realization and does not want a relationship.
Any reason will be polite, persuasive and compelling, if she does not touch the girl's pride. It is better to refuse because of their unwillingness to adulthood, than because of the extra weight of the fan (even if the second option is the true reason).
Do not hurt her and not cause pain
Absolutely forbidden to assess the appearance, character and other features of the girl.
Even if a lady in love wants to know why she is “not your type,” it’s better to keep your mouth shut.
Injugations provoke grievances or even aggression.
You should not refuse in a public place (classroom, office, public event). The presence of witnesses injures the girl, even if the refusal is as polite as possible.
No pity. After refusal, some men try to convince a girl in love that she will find her prince. But the representatives of the weaker sex perceive such a strategic move as a pity in their address. And it humiliates the girl who decided on the first step.
Control of emotions after an unpleasant conversation is very important. If the guy behaves strangely, runs away at the sight of a former fan or lowers her eyes to the floor, this behavior can hurt the girl.
She will constantly feel rejected. But easy and relaxed communication without a hint of flirting will put everything in its place.
Leave no hope for a possible relationship.
Usually girls, having been refused, prefer to go into the shadows and relive an unpleasant moment away from the object of adoration.
But this does not mean at all that having taken shelter in the shadows, a lady in love does not think about revenge. If there is no interest in the girl, it is better to immediately make it clear that there is no point in trying to achieve reciprocal feelings.
No need to set specific deadlines, referring to the refusal of the relationship on the heavy preparation for the session, episodic problems at work or emotional trauma after unsuccessful relationships.
The girl may decide that some time later, a good time will come for a second sentence.
If the girl really accepted the refusal, do not immediately include it in the list of close friends. She mistakenly decides that the guy regretted the hasty decision.
There is an overwhelming desire to establish friendly relations with a former fan? It is better to wait some time. Let her adjust privacy and find a hobby. And after that you can take a course on a friendly chat.
Pointing the girl to specific flaws, guy only adds fuel to the fire. The girl will hasten to eliminate the "minor bugs" and once again rush into the battle for the heart of her handsome man. And the feeling of wounded pride will only spur and excite.
Even if the declaration of love was a complete surprise to you, do not rush to refuse. First, figure it out in yourself. Maybe there are feelings after all?
What if you then have to regret the urgent refusal? And if "chemistry" did not arise, be polite and tactful. Who knows, maybe fate will bring you together with a former fan / admirer more than once.
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