The most terrible tragedy that can occur in the life of each of us is the death of a loved one. We are driving away the thought that people dear to us can leave this world. The hardest thing is to survive the loss of the second half, especially for women. How to survive the death of her beloved husband?
Find the strength to cope with the loss
During the funeral and preparations for them around the widow there is a lot of close people who provide all possible support and assistance. And then the woman is left alone in the house, where each item remembers the happy moments of living together. The following tips will help you survive the loss of your beloved husband:
- Do not stay alone after the funeral.
It will be better if you spend some time with your mother, sister or girlfriend. It is advisable not to return home before 40 days, or at least for a month or two.
Ask a close friend or mother to stay close during this period. They will not refuse to support you in grief. Now it is important that there be someone to make tea and cover with a rug. Do not be alone with your thoughts.
- Collect the things your husband and give to a charity.
This step is required. Ask someone from your family to help you. All personal belongings of the deceased husband must be removed from the house, otherwise they will constantly remind of the loss. You can keep the gifts he gave. But it is better to put them in a box and hide for a year. One glance at them will provoke tears and memories of what cannot be returned.
Keep with you some kind of jewelry that your husband bought you - earrings or a ring. Carry them like a memory. But it is better to get rid of the rest.
- Allow yourself grief.
Many people think that they should be strong, try not to cry and not share their pain with anyone. Actually, this is very bad. It is necessary to do everything that can bring relief to your soul. Crying and talking about what happened is necessary now. Do not hold back emotions, part of the inner pain will go away after you let it go outside.
Suppressing grief after losing a loved one is dangerous. All unclaimed tears and unlived emotions can lead to very serious consequences: deep prolonged depression, suicidal thoughts, mental disorders.
- Write a letter to your late husband.
Probably, you didn’t have time to tell your beloved one much, ask for forgiveness? Write him a letter. This is your last conversation, therefore, tell him everything that you didn’t have enough time during his life. Take this letter and come with him to your favorite park or other place where you often walked with him. You can come to where you met.
Select a lonely place and read what you have written out loud. Imagine that he is near and hears it. Listen to what he says in response. Say goodbye to him, wish him well in another world. Imagine that he is leaving. Here he is removed along the alley farther, now he is no longer visible, he disappeared around the bend ...
Let him go, let his soul leave you easily, because nothing can be changed. Let only warm memories of your husband remain in your heart. Try to treat the situation as if you just broke up, and he went to another country forever.
- Do not blame yourself.
Such a tragedy as the death of a beloved husband causes rejection of the situation. At first, the woman refuses to believe in what happened. Then he begins to look for those responsible for death. Thoughts appear: "If I hadn’t said so or acted differently, he would have been alive."
Recognize that death is beyond human control. It can not be predicted or prevented, so do not blame yourself and loved ones.
- Forgive those responsible for the death of her husband.
And how can you not blame anyone when your beloved husband died at the hands of a robber or in a car accident? How to find the strength to get rid of hatred towards the person who caused the death? Here only time and acceptance of life, as confluences of various circumstances, will help. Some are subservient to us, others are not. We are all their hostages.
Understand that forgiveness is necessary, first of all, to the one who forgives. It cleans the soul, helps to accept and release the situation. After all, you will not return anything. Go to church, talk to the priest. Perhaps after this you will be easier to forgive those responsible for the tragedy.
Find yourself helping others
After losing a loved one, life seems empty. Any prospects become indifferent and it is not clear where to go next. There is a feeling that with the death of her husband, your life was also cut short. Perhaps you think so. But there are those who are also hard, and they need your help.
Engage in charity. It doesn't matter how you feel about it. Just take a bag of clothes, sweets and go to the nearest orphanage. Donate a certain amount of money to a rehabilitation center for people with disabilities. Take a package of dog food, cereals for cereal and visit an animal shelter. Take home a kitten and take care of it.
A person who has experienced the loss of a loved one, of course, is indifferent to someone else's grief. But just start helping others, push yourself. The happy eyes of those you support will gradually bring you back to life.
Avoid death thoughts
After losing her beloved husband, it seems that there is no longer any meaning in life. Often visit the thoughts go after him. Even religious people think about it, despite the fact that suicide is a serious sin. After all, it seems to them that in the next world they will surely meet with deceased loved ones.
If you are visited by such thoughts, think about how your late husband would react to this. He would not wish you death. A loving husband wanted his wife to continue to live on and enjoy this world. He wished you only goodness and happiness. If you believe in God and in the afterlife, think about how your husband is distressed, looking at your suffering.
Find the strength to live on! For the sake of him, your children, close people! Do not hurt any of your relatives with your care. Do not let your grief drown you, let your husband's soul quietly go to another world.
Time really heals. Help him! And then after a year or two, only a slight sadness and gratitude for the days that you spent with your loved one will remain in your heart.
