What to do, if the guy offered to live together?
Such a question often arises among young girls, and they remain before the choice: to accept or not.
Psychology and the value of living together
Do people live together as a couple - natural need.
Each of us wants to have a loved one who can be relied upon, with whom it is pleasant to wake up in the morning, to lead a common life.
Intimate side - one of the most important, but not as strong as the need for intimacy.
Life together can be a test stage before marriage, so many couples initially live for a while without formalizing the relationship.
Basic values of living together:
- satisfaction of sexual needs;
- the achievement of wealth, alone is more difficult to regulate their financial condition;
- social status - you are no longer considered to be lonely, and living together for several months or years can be equated to marriage;
- getting support from a partner.
For a woman, living together can be more important, as she initially committed to creating a family, and further to the birth of a child.
The man not so explicitly aimed at a serious relationshipBut for him to have a permanent partner is equally important.
Life together is a certain level of comfort, however, it is also associated with obligations, changes in the usual rhythm of life.
Pros and cons of cohabitation
Before agreeing to live together, it is worth considering the pros and cons of living together.
This will allow you to assess whether it really suits you.
Pros of living together:
- you no longer need to look for a time and place to meet, now you see every day;
- maintaining a general budget, this will improve your financial condition, if there are not enough funds for living;
- your relationship is moving to a more serious stage;
- you can check your feelings and ability to live together, solve domestic issues, plan expenses;
- Now sex can occur at almost any time. When you lived in different houses, you had to plan it, choose a place and time;
- you get the status of being in a relationship.
Cons of living together:
- the need to maintain a joint budget;
- money question - partners' salaries may differ, which means that it will be necessary to allocate funds;
The fact that a girl earns more than him can affect a guy’s self-esteem.
- the need to adapt to a partner and change the usual way of life;
- common life, on the basis of which differences may arise;
- moving, renting accommodation or living with one of the parents, which is associated with some inconveniences;
- the partner is not perfect, he has flaws that he will have to put up with, some personality traits may eventually become annoying;
- will have to maintain order, learn to jointly organize the space, so that both would be comfortable;
- will be less personal space.
What is more for you - the pros or cons depends on the particular case and people who are going to live together.
Psychological advice and practical recommendations
Living together requires some preparation, including moral. As a rule, it is difficult for any person to change their habitual way of life.
Guys
How to offer a girl to live together?
You are probably worried whether the girl will agree to live together, how she will react to the offer.
But you will not know if you do not ask.
Organize a romantic atmosphere, let the girl feel comfortable. She must understand that next to her reliable guy you can always rely on.
- Try to find out what the girl thinks about the possibility of living together, whether it causes her positive emotions.
- Before you make an offer, think about where you will live, whether you have enough money to rent an apartment, if necessary, to lead a joint life.
- If you plan to rent a house, then it is better to choose it with a girl. She will appreciate what you value her opinion.
- Voice your suggestion. Better to do it alone, in a romantic setting.
The girl does not want to live together: why and what to do?
It is possible that the girl answer is negative.
Reasons for this:
- she is scared;
- her parents are against;
- does not feel responsible in you;
- she is not ready for life together;
- she does not want to depend on a partner yet;
- she is not attached to you enough.
What to do in this case? Think whether it is worth insisting.
If a girl is not yet ready to live together, then no need to rush things.
If against her parents, get to know them better, show yourself from the best side.
If a girl does not perceive you as a responsible, serious person with whom you can live together, you will have to try to change her opinion about you. About the person speak not words, but deeds, therefore prove your worth by doing.
Fears can be dispelled by behavior, beliefs. Speak affectionate words to the girl, create an image of a reliable guy you can rely on.
In case of problems in the material situation, you may need to think about changing jobs or learn how to properly plan your expenses. Do not be silent about the fact that you still have little finance - It should not be a surprise for the girl after you begin to live together.
To girls
Guys are not always in a hurry to live together, seeking to preserve a certain amount of freedom. We have to find ways to push them to this.
How to push a man to live together?
To push a man to live together, you need to bind him tightly enough to yourself.
One of the methods - to offer him sometimes to stay with you overnight or come overnight to yourself.
So a man will get used to the fact that there is a girl in his bed who is also preparing breakfast in the morning. Respect his personality. If he is not ready yet, do not rush things - he may have various reasons for this.
The best way to know a person’s opinion is to talk to him. Start a conversation spontaneously, do not require a "serious conversation", the guys are very afraid of this.
In some cases will help the support of his parents. If you have found a common language with them, they treat you well and see a perspective in a relationship, then they may well push your son to make you an offer to live together.
How to invite a guy to live together?
Evaluate whether he is ready for this. Notice whether there are phrases in his speech, words that say that he wants to live with you.
The best way - ask directly. But it must be borne in mind that men do not like violence against their personality. The desire of the stronger sex - to make decisions. Do not insist, if he does not want.
The conversation should take place in a relaxed atmosphere.
It is believed that the initiative should come more from the manso you can lead the conversation to the fact that he will offer to live together.
If not, ask directly - and if he wants to try to live together. Alternatively, you can offer a trial option - for a couple of weeks.
Why doesn't the guy want to live together?
there is many reasonswhy a man can still refuse to live in the same apartment with a girl:
- He is not ready.
- Free life is more attractive to him.
- He is afraid that he will not pull financially.
- Not sure I want to live with you.
- He has an established lifestyle, especially if the guy lives in his apartment, and he does not want to let another person into his own territory.
- You put too much pressure on him, which causes the natural resistance of the male psyche.
- He likes the life that he leads now, and change something in it while he is not going to.
- He is afraid that now he will be under constant control and will not be able to fully manage his time and space - living with a girl is already the need to take into account her interests, often to please his wishes.
The young guy freedom, the ability to manage their own lives and not depend on anyone may be more important than a permanent relationship.
Before you offer him a joint life, it is worth considering whether he really needs it, whether it will affect your relationship negatively.
Of course, it is impossible to predict everything in detail, which is why many couples prefer to live some time before the weddingby checking your feelings and compatibility.
How to persuade a guy to move in?
How to convince a guy to move together? If your desire to move together is really strong, you will have to be smart and patient.
Perhaps the guy agree immediately and has been waiting for such an offer for a long time without risking to make it himself.
Another variant - he stubbornly refuses to live together, and you insist on it.
What to do:
- Prove to him that life together will be more comfortable and interesting.
- Show your interest in the guy, his personality, work.
- Tell me how you could arrange life.
- Take care of him, cook delicious dinners, offer to make an easy cleaning in his apartment - just do not overdo it, otherwise he will be satisfied with the option with the incoming girl who does everything for him.
- Gradually master his living space, “forget” your things on it.
- If you intend to move and live with you, then make sure that the guy feels comfortable in your house at any time.
- Do not hint about living together all the time, it will only annoy, just ask a question once and wait a while.
Want to live together - be patient. It is not enough just to get together; it should take some time until you get used to living together, the fact that next to another person with their views, attitudes and habits.
On the pros and cons of living together with a guy in this video:
