The word "narcissism" is firmly included in the vocabulary of many people.
They are trying to explain inadequacy in partner behavior, abuse, the desire to manipulate, regardless of whether a person has characteristic narcissistic traits or not.
The main signs of narcissism in men - the desire to get the attention of others, confidence in your own superiority, sensitivity to criticism.
What it is?
Who is the narcissus man?
Narcissism - a multifaceted concept, in a broad sense, meaning the totality of such personality traits as excessive self-love, selfishness, arrogance.
One or other signs of narcissus can be found in many people, but they influence their everyday life and relations with those around them insignificantly, because they manifest themselves moderately.
In everyday life, a person with high self-esteem can be called a narcissus, rarely thinking about the feelings of those around him.
Full of daffodils from the point of view of psychology and psychiatry can be considered those people who have narcissistic accentuation of character either suffer narcissistic personality disorder.
Accentuation - These are strongly pronounced personality traits that are capable of significantly influencing behavior, world view and the ability to communicate with others, but not sufficiently pronounced so that their presence can be considered a disorder.
There are very few differences between personality disorders and accentuation, except for the degree of expression of certain character traits.
The number of people with a narcissistic personality disorder is gradually increasing: according to studies, 10% of young people show signs of this disorder.
At the same time in a group of people older than 60 years, only 3% have characteristic symptoms. The increase in the number of daffodils is associated with global changes in society: the priority is to strive to look perfect for others, achieve wealth, fame, and be competitive.
Narcissism in men occurs in order more often than women.
Also, male narcissuses who feel dissatisfied with life and consider themselves to be insignificant because of failures are more likely than women to abuse alcohol and take drugs, which is largely due to the peculiarities of their gender socialization.
Causes
The mechanism for the development of narcissism in both men and women can be represented as the following chain:
- The parents of the child begin to assess his personality and abilities too early. They put pressure on him, directly or indirectly making it clear that he needs to be successful, able in those areas to which they point.
Such pressure is manifested either in the form of humiliation, neglect, exaggerated demands, or in the form of inadequately strong admiration.
- The child feels that the acceptance of parents, their favorable attitude depends on his success, while his personal characteristics do not matter. Fearing to be rejected, he begins to divide his personality, clearly highlighting the side that needs to be suppressed in order to be good and get approval.
- The needs of the detached part of the personality are not met, therefore a feeling of desolation appears. Narcissus feels that he is unhappy, and this feeling is not always fully conscious. He strives to do his best to look perfect in the eyes of others, tries to succeed in everything, but good luck does not make him happier, as a result he continues to balance between “I am the best” and “I am a nonentity” throughout his life.
Those who are faced with daffodils, may have noticed that their self-esteem is very high. But this is not quite the case: they either feel themselves perfect, then fall into the abyss of self-loathing, sometimes this happens even after a minor setback.
The likelihood that a child will have narcissism increases if one or more of the adults involved in raising him are daffodils.
The causes of narcissism are not well understood.therefore, other theories of its occurrence may appear in the future.
Signs of
Main symptoms:
- Overly exaggerated opinion about yourself. They believe that they are capable of much, and will react inadequately if someone near them doubts this. Strive to surround themselves with those who will maintain their conviction in their own greatness. Daffodil boys love the opposite sex very much and can often change partners. Able to perform unusual, eccentric actions in order to be the center of attention and earn someone's positive attitude.
- Thirst for fantasies, dreams. It manifests itself in the form of irresistible craving to fantasize about their own success, about love and the attention of others, great wealth and happiness.
Also daffodils tend to strive to achieve the unattainable. Their dreams are very far from reality.
- Conviction in their own uniqueness. The man-daffodil is sure that he is special, differs from everyone who is near him, and that only such unique, rich, people with power can truly understand his experiences and aspirations. Strives to create close (friendly, romantic) ties with those who have weight in society.
- The need to be in the spotlight and get the approval of others. Daffodils do their best to get a lot of praise and admiration from those who are next to them. They also often use those who admire them for their own purposes. It is usually difficult to tolerate loneliness. Their self-esteem is very strongly connected with how others relate to them.
- Using others to realize their own goals, indifference to the problems of those who are nearby, poorly developed empathy. Many daffodils are convinced that they should be supported. The experiences and anxieties of even the closest people rarely cause a pronounced response in male narcissists, they do not know how to provide emotional support, do not realize the seriousness of their actions that cause harm to others, and usually do not experience strong emotional attachment to someone.
Own goals, dreams and aspirations are always in priority.
- Conviction in the envy of others; jealousy turned towards those who, in the opinion of the narcissus, are better than him. Daffodils are sure that many are jealous of them, tend to explain with envy the various words and actions of others, for example, to assume that people expressing critical comments are in fact jealous of them. At the same time, they are prone to harm those whom they feel jealous: they criticize fiercely, they can devalue, ridicule, even use violence.
- Arrogance. Daffodils perceive most people as those who, by definition, are lower and worse than them, less intelligent, imperfect. Therefore, they treat others condescendingly, often indifferently, rarely create close emotional ties with someone, limited to superficial contacts. The opinion of those who are near, they condemn, criticize, if it is not combined with their own.
- Perfectionism. The desire to do everything as best as possible in order to look, in one's own and those of others, close to perfection is an integral part of the personality of narcissus. Men with narcissistic traits always strive for success and pay much attention to detail, because they want to achieve the perfect result. However, they suffer from dissatisfaction if the result was not good enough.
- Painful attitude to criticism, vulnerability. Since their self-esteem is extremely strongly tied to the opinions of others, any negative can seriously worsen their mental state, and in some cases even cause depression, neurosis.
- The desire to protect themselves from a sense of their own inferiority. They do everything possible to avoid situations in which their greatness will be questioned. Also, it is extremely painful for them to realize that they depend on others.
Narcissistic disorder and narcissistic accentuation have a number of similarities with hysteroid disorder and accentuation.
Often, men with narcissistic personality traits also exhibit traits characteristic of hysteroidity.
Psychological portraits
Guy
At a young age, narcissism, like other accentuation and personality disorders, manifested most clearly.
Daffodil youths strive to surpass all those who are close to them, and to create a group of "admirers" around themselves, they love to be leaders.
If in a society in which the narcissus grows, male superiority determined by the success in the romantic and sexual spheres, he can focus on finding girls for relationships (usually short-term).
The attention of the opposite sex is given to such young men easily, because they are charming, look after themselves and are ready to perform unusual, bright acts.
Many guys with narcissistic personality traits lead blogsIn which they talk about their successes, lay out spectacular photos.
A man at the age of forty
In adulthood (35–40 years old) many accentuations and personality disorders softened, become less pronounced. This also applies to narcissism.
After thirty-five to forty years, daffodils who have received quite a long life experience are easier realize the need for change work with psychologists and psychotherapists. Narcissistic accentuation by this age can disappear on its own, without the intervention of specialists.
Forty-year-old male daffodils look at their actions more critically, think more about what is happening, they can make an informed decision to start a family.
At the same time, some men, in whose lives there were a lot of failures, shifted their self-esteem to a deep minus, may go into the sphere of pathological dependencies: start drinking large amounts of alcohol, taking drugs.
Narcissus husband
It is wrong to assume that any daffodil - certainly cruel abuzerwhich is impossible to live with. But the peculiarities of the disorder largely determine the incorrect behavior of the male narcissus.
They find it difficult to comprehend the feelings of others because of poorly developed empathy, they are focused on gaining for themselves, seeking to be venerated and afraid to become attached.
Therefore, relationships with them are often they become a test for women.
Treating Male Narcissism
The treatment of narcissistic disorder is psychotherapy.
The main difficulty is to bring the patient to awarenessthat he needs treatment: it is difficult to realize daffodils that their personality traits are pathological.
The treatment of the disorder is long-term and systematic, it is based on the desire to help the patient to realize the presence of repressed feelings, experiences and needs.
The following are considered to be the most effective. psychotherapeutic branches:
- gestalt therapy;
- transactional analysis.
Over time, the condition of the male narcissus improves, his personality is corrected, it becomes easier for him to build close interpersonal relationships.
How to recognize and cure narcissism:
