How to divorce my wife: what do you need to do for this?

A man who wondered how to divorce his wife and what to do to make this process as painless as possible for both.

You should completely exclude aggressiveness from your behavior and weigh each decision.

What you need to think about?

Have rational men who came to the idea of divorce from his wife, already definitely have a lengthy list of reasons for this.

But even in this case, he can doubt the correctness of his decision, and only when the reasons become sufficient and everything will be carefully considered, will he inform his spouse of his plans.

At the same time, he, as a rule, will first try to talk with his wife about what does not suit him, propose solutions and think how he can influence positively on the situation. If nothing changes, he will file for divorce.

But not all men are rationalists. There are those who can be called frivolous, impulsive.

They tend to chop off, and then regret, and they are able to decide on a divorce after several quarrels, which can be avoided if you talk to your wife in a comfortable environment and find compromises.

Whatever the character of a man, before you file for a divorce, you should try to think about everything properly, especially if there are children in the family: they can be traumatized by the separation of the mother and father.

The main questions that need to be answered by a man:

Is it possible to change something? Make sure your decision is not spontaneous, but fully weighed. If you are not 100% sure of this, it’s better to wait a few weeks and watch what is happening. If you did not try to express your dissatisfaction to your wife earlier (in a constructive and adequate form, and not during scandals), it's time to do it. To discuss problems should be in a relaxed atmosphere, completely eliminating their own aggressiveness. Clearly let her know that this dialogue is not a way to blame her and is aimed primarily at finding a solution. Putting forward problems, suggest options and ask what output she sees.
What can I change in myself to make the situation better? Sometimes constant quarrels are the result of not the bad nature of the wife, but the fault of a man who does not want to help her, to look for compromises, to be honest, trusting, polite. Also, some features of a woman’s behavior (such as excessive passivity, apathy, tearfulness, irritability, instability of mood, fatigue, and poor sleep) may be due to mental health problems, especially if several months or years ago everything was clearly different. Ask her about how she feels, what her mood in recent months is, whether she is worse able to cope with her duties.
If she has complaints about negative mental well-being, it is important to convince her to go to a psychotherapist, since the difficulties that arise when dealing with her may be the result of the disease.
Can I accept the situation and wait? An ordinary situation: the wife recovered after the birth of the baby, she looks exhausted, and her character seems to have changed completely, although the man tries to help her as soon as she can.
These are natural changes that occur with almost all women after childbirth. Mood swings, irritability, inadequate behavior can be caused by hormones. But over time, it will pass, you just need to wait. In addition, some women lose weight without dieting over time, simply because their hormonal levels have stabilized. And imposing the idea of losing weight at a time when a woman is breastfeeding is hardly a good idea.
How do I interact with her and the children (if any) after the divorce? Consider how you will act if the children remain with her, and how - if you are with you, how often you will see them, whether you can be a friend of your ex-wife, communicate with her.
How will I organize my life after a divorce? Perhaps the wife earns well, and thanks to the joint earnings the family copes and lives well. During a divorce, a man will have only one source of income - his own, and he may not have enough for a comfortable life.
It is important to think about what can be done to improve the situation: find a second job, ask friends for help. Also, difficulties may arise with the household part of life.
Does it make sense to visit a family psychologist? Qualified specialists of such a plan can help the spouses to look at their relationships differently and find a way out. In most cases, a visit to a psychologist is definitely a good decision.

What is the best way to inform the wife about the decision? There are tips that will help a man during the dialogues with his wife more gently convey their thoughts. They will be described below. At the same time, a man who has lived with a woman for some time will probably be aware of her character, degree of balance, preferences, so it will be easier for him to understand how best to communicate her decision.

You should think about whether you still love your spouse and be happy without her.

After how much can you divorce after the wedding? You can get a divorce anytime, even right after the wedding, if there are reasons for this.

Restrictions exist only in cases when a woman is pregnant or has a child younger than a year, and the initiator of the divorce is a man. In such cases, you need the joint desire of the couple to divorce.

How do you tell a spouse about a divorce?

How to tell your wife about a divorce? The main tips of psychologists:

Be polite and keep calm. If you are very angry with her, try to cool down before talking: take a cool shower, drink a sedative, wait a few days. She must understand that your decision is balanced and firm.
Do not blame her. Everything that could happen has already happened, and there is no point in blaming and insulting. If you want to remind her again why you are trying to leave, do it in a soft form, argue.
Use clear, peremptory phrases that leave no options. For example, "I filed for divorce today," "I am sure I want to divorce you." Soft phrases like “I want to divorce” are better not to use or use during the discussion stage. Eliminate words and phrases like "probably", "maybe", "it seems to me".
Discuss the topic of divorce at a time convenient for both. A discussion of the situation, say, in the morning before work is hardly a good idea: too little time will be devoted to such a dialogue.
In addition, the woman will feel unhappy and can hardly concentrate on anything.
Do not choose a moment for dialogue when it feels bad or not sane. This applies to situations where she is drunk, perceptibly tired, experiencing pain or discomfort, has been crying for a long time, has not slept well or feels sleepy after resting, is under the influence of medications that can affect her mental state.

If the woman was able to make your decision and remains calm, invite her to discuss her future life. Ask if she wants to discuss issues related to divorce now (what kind of property she wants to receive, whether she will be satisfied if the children stay with her or with you), with her future life, with how to bring information about the separation to the children, or it is better to wait with this. Trust her to tell her that she can discuss it when she is ready.

If you have children with her, it is important:

gently convey to them the fact that mom and dad will no longer be together;
emphasize that children are not at all to blame for this and that mom and dad still love them;
tell them that they will see their dad, come to him, will be able to make phone calls and Skype, and so on, he will give gifts and help financially;
report on their opportunities: tell them that they can choose with whom to stay after the divorce (this question should be raised in the presence of the wife);
Do not tune children against your wife.

With older children, the conversation will be longer and more difficult. Be prepared for the fact that they may become angry with you or your wife, begin to beg, or, conversely, tightly withdraw into themselves and refuse to talk.

It is important to try to help them accept what is happening and, if possible, take them to a psychologist.

What should I do to get a divorce?

If the dialogue with her was sane and constructive, and she ready to file a joint application to simplify the process of divorce, you just need to two come to the registry office and leave a statement.

If you do not have minor children, in one month you will be given certificates that you are divorced.

If the couple has children, and there is valuable family property, divorce occurs in court, regardless of whether the spouses jointly filed an application or only one of them did.

The application can be submitted alone, if it was not possible to agree with the wife. But this is not possible if the wife is pregnant or you have a child under one year old with her.

Documentation required for a divorce important to collect in advance and place so that his wife could not hurt her in the heat of anger.

Discuss with the employees of the Civil Registry Office and lawyers issues that concern you, even before the collection of documents begins, in order to know exactly what you need to do and what to expect.

If necessary hire a lawyer.

How to pass the procedure painlessly?

This is hardly possible: one way or another, it’s painful for most women to realize that the husband wants to leave and that everything is over.

The process of divorce is also a tangible stress for women, for men, and for their children, and this can hardly be done.

You should try to do everything possible to soften what is happening, but remember that it is impossible to completely eliminate the pain.

The less spouses have lived among themselves and the more complex the relationship was, the easier it will be to divorce.

People who have lived half a life with each other will be extremely hard to accept the separation and accept it, even if their mutual relations were far from ideal.

Also, a divorce will certainly be painful if the spouses have property that needs to be divided, and minor children.

Tips for men who want a painless divorce:

discuss with the wife all the details (the amount of child support, child custody and so on) and inform her that they are ready to make concessions, if only the divorce process does not create unnecessary problems;
make peace with her and arrangethat in the course of legal proceedings everyone will keep a person, not to go to aggression, not to quarrel;
visit a family psychologist: they can not only help preserve the marriage, but also help the man and woman to prepare psychologically for a divorce;
learn all legal aspects of divorce: talk with a lawyer, read legal articles, family code (knowledge of legal issues will allow you to better understand what is happening and less nervous);

visit a psychotherapistif you feel weakness, weakness, apathy, you lose interest in life, you notice that lately it is more difficult for you to work, concentrate on something, and interest in your hobbies has decreased significantly or disappeared altogether.

A competent, sane approach to divorce, involving constructive conversations and control of one’s own behavior, is capable save a lot of nerves, time and effort.

What do men feel after a divorce: