What to doif the husband filed for divorce?
Modern women often have to ask this question and try to keep the family together.
Why does he want a divorce?
Love never stable all life.
Sometimes she passes, the spouse accidentally meets another woman or he just wants freedom from the family.
Main reasonswhy the husband wants to divorce:
- he was tired of the constant scandals in the family;
- you “sawn” him, criticized, he does not feel himself in charge;
- he found a mistress;
- the husband has a middle age crisis, and he decided to radically change his life;
- his financial issue;
- he suspects you of treason, is constantly jealous, and therefore no longer wants to be in a state of constant tension.
Man can limitwhich marriage imposes on him. However, the paradox is that after leaving one relationship, he almost immediately becomes involved in another. Therefore, if the main reason he calls the lack of freedom, it is not quite so.
Many marriages destroyed the intervention of the mother-in-law. Pathological attachment of the son to the mother leads to the fact that she is an authority for him, and he obeys her in everything.
Permanent opinion impositionthat the daughter-in-law is bad, changes the husband's attitude towards his spouse, and he, under the influence of his mother, decides on a divorce. Think about whether you really need a man who is guided by the opinion of the mother, and not his own.
The decision to divorce is often made in the event that spouse is not able to have childrenand the man really wants his own child.
Many men go nowhere.
Just once tired of a difficult situation in the family, he collected things and went to look for happiness elsewhere. It is likely that after a while he will want to return.
What if the spouse offered to break up?
The husband asks for a divorce: what to do? Firstly, do not panic. Unfortunately, tears in such cases do not help - a man tries to escape from hysterics as quickly as possible.
It is important to find out the main reason why the spouse decided to file for divorce. He can say that he is tired, but in fact he has a young lover.
In a family where there is constant tension, divorce is most likely. This means that you should calm the excitement. You will have to show maximum tact and wisdom.
Let each other speak, but don't get personal.
Dialogue should be conducted in a calm tone and its goal is to resolve the conflict, find a compromise, find out what does not suit both partners.
If you follow only the wishes of your spouse, succumbing to his manipulation, it will negatively affect your health and psychological state, therefore the balance of subordination and your own independence is important. Spouses - partnersbut not the opposing sides.
Remind your husband of the good times when it all began. You had passion, attraction, positive moments of meetings. Perhaps this is exactly what your couple is missing.
If you constantly quarrel over everyday problems, this is an indication that life is not organized correctly and you need to change the approach to its planning.
If the husband proposed a divorce, try to stay calm, maintain self-esteem and think about the children, for them such a message is also very stressful.
How to convince or dissuade him?
How to prevent a divorce?
For a start it is important to understand, and Is it really worth saving marriage? Remember how your relationship was built lately.
Do you still trust each other, do you care or is the discord so strong that you have become practically alien? When was the last time you talked, shared your feelings, sympathized with each other? Rate the quality of your life together.
To convince your husband not to divorce, you yourself have to change yourself a little, your attitude towards marriage and spouse.
You cannot force an adult, but try to talk to him. If the main reason he calls the constant scandals, then think together how to make sure that they no longer exist.
If you do not work, and spouse tired of supporting the familythen it's time to find a suitable employment.
To persuade to stay for the sake of children is not the best option. Seeing constant conflicts between parents, children suffer more than if the father lived separately.
Blackmail - also a bad way. The spouse may remain for some time, but the trust will be undermined and sooner or later he will leave anyway.
Ask a spouse to go for a consultation. to a family psychologist.
He will not convince, but will help to better understand your relationship, the reasons for disagreement.
After a conversation with a specialist, partners often begin to look at their marriage differently, as a result, the crisis is experienced and union persists.
How to avoid divorce and save the family?
How to prevent a divorce? Signs of a divorce appear long before the application is made. If you feel a crack in the relationship, start working on them, do not wait for a critical moment.
- Learn to take care of her husband. This does not mean that you should devote your time only to him, but a delicious dinner in the evenings and a smile of his wife will be pleasant to him.
Caring is manifested in a special regard, the ability to unobtrusively show warmth, attention, and silence if a man is not in the mood for conversation.
- Stop brawling on trifles. Many problems are not worth paying attention to them.
- Genuinely interested in his life.
- Be positive with him, forget about the bad mood and complaints.
- Let him feel strong.
- Do not make him guilty. Guilt makes him run so as not to test him with the person who caused him. If the husband has committed a misdemeanor, do not blame, but try to find a way out of the situation together.
Happy relationship not built on coercion. A man should himself want to stay, this is his personal decision, as head of the family. Give him time to think, evaluate what is best for him.
The desire to make a person stay close has selfish motives, and the man feels it. If he wants to leave, tears and declarations of love will not help, especially in cases where confidence is lost.
How to transfer stress?
Divorce - a difficult time when life is changing dramatically. You understand that a loved one will not be around anymore, and this causes a state of extreme stress, down to deep depression.
What to do:
- do not allow yourself to become discouraged, the stronger and longer negative emotions, the more you are stuck on them;
- stop bad thoughts;
- Be aware of what is happening and the need to radically change your life;
- allow yourself to feel the feeling of freedom - now you control your life;
- if you have children, think about them, they are experiencing no less stress, and divorce affects their mental state;
- do yourself anything - hobbies, work, reading, traveling;
- start to change, and first of all for yourself.
The main thing is to understand the irreversibility of the process, if the divorce took place finally, do not give your psyche the hope of returning, reconcile with what is happening.
You need to take care of your psychological comfort, any stress, tears, negative experiences - a blow to your health.
Turn on a bit of egoism, start thinking about your desires, self-development, think about unfulfilled goals. It's time to realize what you have long dreamed of.
How to behave?
Pay attention to the advice of psychologists:
- Understand that you are not obliged to anyone or anything. Relatives and friends will almost certainly ask you about the reasons for separation, but to tell or not - your choice.
- Try to keep maximum optimism. Life does not end, it only begins.
- Minimize contact with your husband, remove items from his eyes that remind him of him.
- Do not impose, do not be humiliated, do not try to return. Keep your self esteem.
- Lead an active life, do not lock yourself at home alone with your own experiences.
- If the former spouse threatens, do not be afraid to contact the police, relatives, friends.
- Increase self-esteem by any method: change the image, work, go to the training.
- Do not provoke conflicts with the former spouse and do not succumb to his manipulation. Try to stay calm in any situation.
How to accept?
You will have to go through the following stages:
- negation - it seems that a divorce can be avoided, you are still not fully aware of the reality of what is happening;
- anger - the emergence of emotions - he betrayed, I am guilty. At this stage, you feel offended, why so did you;
- bargain - and suddenly everything will turn back. At this stage you can start to write to him or look for meetings - this is not recommended;
- depression - an attempt to return is replaced by despondency, withdrawal into oneself, despair. At this stage, it is important to support loved ones so that the stage passes as quickly as possible;
- adaptation and adoption. You realize what happened, and decide that enough bad experiences, it's time to start a new life.
Divorce - difficult period for any person. But life does not end there, on the contrary, having gained freedom, you discover new opportunities for yourself.
About what to do if the husband filed for divorce, you can find out from the video:
