Complexes are formed in childhood and imprinted in adulthood imprints in the form of difficulties to build relationships, experiences about their low growth, too much care of people who do not need it. But despite this, you can improve the quality of your life, if you choose the approach to a particular problem, as described below.
Electra Complex
The Electra complex is the daughter's sexual attraction to the father and the desire to take the place of the mother. Enters the stage of normal development of the child, from the age of 3, when the personality begins to manifest itself and the children want to show themselves independent.
In most cases, all signs go up to 6-7 years.when the girl turns her attention to peer-guys. If this does not happen, parents should actively engage in raising the child and direct it to the right path.
Sigmund Freud - the founder of this theory, conducted observations of children. He explained this complex as follows: the girl wants to replace his wife with her father. Therefore, trying to do everything like mom and also look. The behavior model teaches female roles for adulthood.
Main features
Depending on the type of upbringing in the family and traditions, the Electra complex will manifest itself in different ways. The main features include:
- Demonstrative behavior. The daughter is trying to attract the attention of the pope, which is not always possible with the help of obedience, therefore, in the course are obvious whims.
- Bored. When the father leaves the apartment for business, the child starts to get bored and does not find a place for himself. These are a sign of strong attachment to the parent of the opposite sex.
- Jealousy. It is manifested by aggression towards the mother, pushing her away from her husband, becoming between them. Can lock the door to the room and do not let, say: "Go away!".
- Sense of tension. The girl does not understand what is happening around. A difficult situation is haunted. May appear irritable on any occasion.
- Dreams. If you ask your daughter about what she dreamed of, you can hear a symbolic picture of the sexual attraction to dad and anger at mom.
How to get rid
If after 7 years the Electra complex has not passed, then parents should pay attention to this. You need to explain that dad loves mom as his wife. And my daughter is like a child. These are different kinds of feelings, although they are equally warm and strong. And that girl will also have a boyfriend.
Do not let go to sleep in your bed and when taking a bath. It is necessary to protect the child from his personal intimate space. If you want to kiss on the lips, then gently stop and explain that you can not do that. Do not shout or punish for it.
A daughter should communicate not only with family members, but also have the opportunity to talk and build friendly relations with peers. To do this, you can write in a circle in which you can interact with others: dancing, theater, fencing.
Napoleon complex
The Napoleon complex is also called the "little man complex". Characteristic of people with short stature, who are very ashamed of it and consider it a defect in appearance. One would think that it would make you be secretive and shy, but it acts quite the opposite.
Named in honor of the emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, who is famous for his dedication, big ambitions, constant faith in himself, energy. And at the same time, it was only 1.51 m tall.
The first was described by psychologist Alfred Adler, when short men came to his reception and showed a desire to "take over the world". They did not say so directly, but in their actions and words, large-scale enslavement targets were clearly beating off.
Main features
There are differences between manifestations in women and men, but the main characteristics include:
- they strive to prove their worth to everyone around them;
- they do not like being criticized;
- proud of;
- do not tolerate help;
- are suspicious;
- successful in their careers and goals;
- choose high sexual partners;
- it constantly seems that everyone around looks only at them and condemns;
- easy to hurt;
- peculiar perfectionism;
- aggressive and violent;
- trying to take a leading and leadership position.
How to get rid
It must be remembered that a person is not only his height, but the totality of all personality and appearance traits. Therefore, if you develop yourself intellectually and spiritually, you can build a strong and reliable relationship. And also, to occupy the workplace, which the truth will bring pleasure, and not only satisfy the desire to dominate.
It should be remembered that with short stature, extra pounds are immediately noticeable. Therefore, you need to monitor your nutrition and exercise. Also, do the right hairstyle. Long hair for men visually takes a few centimeters of growth, so you should choose a short haircut. And girls - lift at the roots with the help of styling.
Posture is another element to follow. Because, if a little slouch, can "reduce" the growth of a few centimeters. It is necessary, as always, to remember this and straighten up while walking or sitting at the table. And also, do exercises. For example, wear a book on your head.
Properly selected things are another way to success. For example, do not use a wide belt and horizontal stripes. And vertical lines in clothes are very necessary. Men should refuse massive accessories. Women wear long pendants or beads. Also, do not forget about heels and platform.
Guilt complex
The complex of guilt - a pathological emotional reaction to the insult, criticism, reproaches in his side. This feeling is formed at an early age in the family, or at a more adult age in the team. In this microsociety are prone to humiliation and suppression of the individual.
Such a model of behavior is instilled when, after violence (moral or physical), it is said that a person is bad and miserable. This pressure ceases after the dominant receives the desired reaction: a prolonged apology, tears, gifts.
After such an act, a feeling is instilled that punishment must be borne. Even if a person believes that he is not guilty in this case. The installation appears in my head: "If they shout and get angry at him, it means there is something for that."
It is also possible that when a couple is someone who can not reciprocate and the same power of love. The absence of such feelings makes one feel guilty in front of a partner, which one can try to cover with gifts, money. Or attach insufficient attention to their parents. Change this can not be through employment.
Main features
There are many reasons why a guilt complex develops. Depending on the factor will be different and manifestations. In general features can be identified:
- Strong impressionability and sensitivity, tears due to the most insignificant situations. Other people's words can lead to the emergence of new complexes about personal qualities or appearance.
- Very critical of myself.
- Indecisive and withdrawn, timid, modest.
- Show excessive care - so trying to atone for their feelings of guilt on any occasion, which gnaws from the inside. Help in things that are easier to do yourself. They show hyper-care of their children. If you could not pay enough attention when meeting with friends, then next time it will be over the edge.
- Violence from others is treated as "I am guilty."
- There is a subconscious desire to receive punishment. Therefore, it seems from the outside that very often they end up in different situations that could have been avoided.
How to get rid
It is necessary to determine, or what is accused, really appropriate. Disassemble the causal relationship, and not immediately lower your head and take the punishment. If the blame really lies, then apologize and immediately resolve the conflict on the spot, so that it does not burden the house later.
It is worth sharing your experiences with others. Since negative emotions accumulate over the course of a day, a week, it is worthwhile to tell them - to let off steam, and not to save in oneself so that this does not turn into an insult, a feeling of inferiority, etc. They can give advice on how to improve the situation; or look to the side, is there any fault for the interlocutor.
Constant negativism supports the guilt complex. Therefore it is worth changing your worldview. Try to look at the world in brighter colors. It may be worthwhile to change the people around you who are causing this feeling inside.
Cinderella complex
The Cinderella complex is called a lifestyle when a person only dreams and does nothing to embody his desires and plans. You might think that this is characteristic of adolescents and women. But among such people there are a lot of adult men.
Girls at the age of 13 begin to dream of a prince on a white horse, who will come and everything will be fine. He will take care of her life, provide home and money. Will love until the end of days, and no quarrels. So are 20 years, 30 and 40, and the world does not change. Woman waiting for a miracle.
Men go to work that they don’t like, and they really want to do business that will be enjoyable. About 30% of the population complain that they can not realize themselves in their native country. But at the same time do not try to go abroad to work.
Main features
The difference in personality characteristics may be due to age and gender. The main features of the Cinderella complex:
- life passes in dreams, not in the present moment;
- trying to please everyone and earn love;
- obedience in everything;
- altruism;
- additional complexes are often inherent: honors pupils, victims;
- never-ending hope for a miracle;
- low self-esteem - lack of confidence in the fact that you can change your life yourself;
- strong attachment to loved ones;
- excessive romance;
- passive spending free time;
- constant guilt;
- constant sense of duty.
How to get rid
Trainings and methods to improve self-esteem will be useful. After all, it is precisely its low level that often makes it impossible to start doing something on its own, to move somewhere. Self-confidence will appear - the forces will act and change something.
It is also worth presenting to women, but what if a prince on a white horse never appears and does not save him from this routine? You need to build a life to answer for it yourself. A purposeful and interesting lady is always someone to see and notice, want to bestow attention. Because such girls often attract men.
If the Cinderella complex is built on a dream of wealth, then it is worth realizing that people in abundance do not fall for nothing. They need to earn. Sometimes, it is very hard work. And it is better to look for a place that will be fun, so that later the Cinderella complex will not be replaced by the desire to make money on your favorite business.
The complex of the older sister (brother)
The order of birth of children affects their upbringing. As a result, the formation of personality. The first child grew up on his own, he got it all: a separate room, new things, a lot of toys, all the attention, the care of parents.
When a second child appears, all these things and aspects are divided in half, if they do not give an even larger share to the infant. And as a rule, it happens because they require more care. Therefore, the older one is deprived.
This situation creates a feeling of deprivation, anger. And also, high responsibility for the younger child, adds a lot of work. Such conditions of upbringing, family life form certain personality traits with which a person enters into adulthood.
Main features
Boys, mature people often show character traits behind which one can easily see the sister’s (brother’s) complex:
- suffer from perfectionism;
- authoritative;
- according to statistics, have a high level of intelligence;
- responsible;
- strive for excellence, which can result in both success and an inferiority complex;
- overly caring;
- propensity to punish, blame for infantile behavior;
- a heightened sense of injustice;
- seriousness, severity;
- care head to work;
- educating people around, as if they do not understand anything;
- trying to find a partner who will need control, care, as a younger brother or sister.
How to get rid
To get rid of the complex sister (brother), you need to realize that adult life has begun. No longer need to educate anyone. Around the same independent people with their point of view. If they need help, I can ask for it myself. Excessive care can only worsen the relationship between each other.
No need to constantly work, to be busy. That is, you need to learn how to relax, relax. After all, if you constantly take the burden of responsibility, to dump many tasks, chronic fatigue develops. Due to which people become irritated, cognitive functions suffer.
Seriousness, rigor are good qualities for doing the same work. But do not carry these traits in everyday life. After all, they create an atmosphere of tension. You can always laugh at something, sometimes it looks ridiculous or even infantile - to let out a child who did not have enough time to play as a child.
The complex of the younger sister (brother)
The youngest child receives more attention because the next child does not take him (if he is the last). Therefore, all love, caress, care in full belongs to him. Also given toys elder sister or brother; half, or even the whole room.
The older child is always raised more strictly, since this is the first child. On it, parents "learn" to educate. As a rule, are very worried about doing something wrong. Therefore, it is considered that it is better to set the framework stronger than something will happen due to free swimming.
The younger child is raised more gently, since they take into account all the minuses of the past. Realize that you should not limit the child so much. Therefore, the discipline is more soft, more is allowed. Which also affects the personality traits.
Main features
Infantilism is a quality that is peculiar to people for various reasons. The complex of the younger sister (brother) is not an exception:
- lack of decision making - often asks the opinions of others, only they should;
- lack of self-discipline - unable to control his regime, to control himself, to adhere to social norms and rules;
- irresponsibility - not responsible for their actions, does not do the work on time, does not keep his word;
- egocentrism - believes that the world revolves only around him, everyone owes him;
- the manipulator - since childhood he knows how to correctly, easily manage the feelings and actions of others in order to achieve something;
- aggressiveness - often gets into quarrels, fights, emotionally, expressively shows his displeasure.
How to avoid
It is worth developing self-discipline. Assign the mode of the day and follow it. Work will help where the rules are drawn in strict mode. There will be an additional leader who will make you come on time, to do the whole amount of tasks. After that, you should set the tasks yourself, stick to them.
Around people with their position, desires, personal space. Therefore, do not think that they should follow the whims. To get something, you can first ask about it, and not use the manipulation. Before this, you need to create a trusting relationship.
It is worth making decisions yourself. Because others will suggest, based on their tastes, which do not always coincide with personal ones. In addition, they often will not be at hand. Therefore, it is necessary to develop firmness in character, to take responsibility.
The Electra or Cinderella complex is not uncommon. Often due to improper upbringing or certain conditions in life. You should always cultivate yourself, and take on a whole set of qualities that do not make it comfortable to move on. After all, there are many tools to fix them.
