It’s always hard to lose friends, even if they haven’t been able to say with words how they appreciate you, more than once depriving you not only of sleep, but of shoes, lunch and other valuables.
But while we are alive, this process cannot be avoided, if it is vital for us to share a home with a purring, tweeting or barking household. After all, the age of most animals is much shorter than ours.
Psychological stages experienced by the owner who has lost a pet
Grieving about his beloved pet, only a man in the jungle of psychology knows that his heart wound will scar in the process of life according to a certain “scenario”.
Such is the human psyche: with the exception of pathological cases, we respond to stimuli according to a specific regulation.
Prostration
At the end of cases related to the provision of the last honored pet, comes period of emotional prostration.
This is expressed in the inhibited reaction to the majority of irritants, the desire to retire to give free rein to tears. Sometimes for this purpose choose a corner where there was a personal space of the pet.
Some time later, the person calms down, but any reminder of animals (film, cartoon, poster, neighbor animal on the balcony-window-in the garden), causes a new waterfall of tears or causes throat spasm.
Wines
Thoughts about an animal, memories of joint walks with him, or hours spent on the same sofa on winter evenings, are mixed with thinking about pet rescue options.
A sense of guilt begins to emerge, fueled by sound or imagined arguments that not all available measures were taken to save a friend’s life.
Helpful memory begins to pull out of their bins cases discussed in the media covering miraculous cure someone there by some newly invented means.
We must try to stop self-flagellation, because the lion’s share of all such unusual stories is simple journalistic "ducks".
Or, in the case of applied techniques available affordable millionaires, as modestly silent distributors of information.
Envy
Other owners of furry pupils cause a slight envy, which, in turn, pulls to the surface of consciousness a little dull pain due to the loss of his.
But there is no desire to caress someone else's dog or kitten, because it can lead to hysterics of the little creature, caressing the eyes of an unsuspecting owner.
Over time, the joy of communicating with other animals will be back - This happens to most people.
Depression
If there are no concomitant diseases, aggravated against the background of the experienced, lethargy, depression and depressed mood will last no more than 2-3 weeks - all the same life requires our participation in various fields, and the psyche is gradually restored by internal regulatory systems, responding to new external stimuli.
If you have a history of problems with the nervous system, heart, then the death of your beloved animal can be a trigger for a long-term deterioration in general health.
Therefore, if a pet has a close relative suffering from a serious illness, the rest of the family members it is desirable to be especially attentive to the person who lost the animal.
Adoption
Grief is gradually transformed into a feeling of light sadness.
Over time, it is even possible to have a feeling of quiet joy for having a pet in your life, and after it left a lot of memories about happily spent together days.
Psychologist's tips for making it easier to survive a pet's loss
I have a cat died, I can not survive his death: what to do?
Allowing yourself more than once cry outand if there is anyone, then to speak outforce yourself to work on anything. Whether it is a difficult project at work, some kind of hobby in the walls of houses, fishing, helping a neighbor in finding a place to grow unusual truffles - any occupation is suitable.
More will be busy handsthe faster the heart will let go.
Just do not do something that requires maximum concentration and hazardous to health when scattering attention.
The most that: painting the fence, weeding the beds, cleaning the closets and home library, repairs in the apartment.
What else needs to be done to deal with the loss:
- Immediately remove the pet's stuff. Throw them away immediately or leave something for memory - decide for yourself, but be sure to eliminate them from a general overview.
- Temporarily change the route to workif it was held in places where people walk their pets.
- Temporarily remove the photo with a pet on the far shelf, change the desktop background on your computer or on your phone, if the picture reminds you of a shaggy friend.
- If you like to read, get a couple of new books in the media or on the advice of friends.
- Movie fans you can sit down for a few nights to watch quality TV shows - good things will help support the psyche, replacing your experiences with the result of emotions caused by participation in the life of the characters.
Only no films like "White Bim the black ear", "Hachiko" and so on!
- Sometimes it is difficult to speak out to a relative, but easily to a stranger. Owners of the page in social networks are always sympathetic to other visitors to the resource, if they sympathize with the person who posted the post and have previously corresponded with him. Yes, and other animal lovers will not remain indifferent to the grief of others - so the Internet can also become a source of support in a difficult period. After all, it is not even real help that is important, but simple human participation and sensation, even if it is fictitious, of a substituted vest.
The pain of loss overshadows all the joys of life for many months?
In such cases, need psychologist supportSo as not to earn health problems at the level of the somatic system.
How to get rid of guilt for euthanasia?
How to get rid of guilt for the death of an animal that had to be put to sleep? One of the features of the human psyche is ability to convince yourself of anything.
Therefore, it is necessary to strictly forbid yourself to generate accusatory thoughts and forever decide that you did everything you could to prevent that situation.
Their own attempts to think differently should be regarded as a manifestation of weakness and a way to sink, hiding behind the death of a pet. Everything! He is not, you are, therefore should enjoy life for two.
Is guilt still gnawing?
Remember how pain is painful and how it can poison every second of existence.
If you didn’t manage to stop it from your pet by any means, then the most merciful of you was precisely the decision to resort to sleep with a modern preparation that does not increase the torment of the animal.
How to help your child cope with grief?
How to support a child after the death of his pet:
- Take care of physical support: hug when crying and just like that. You can even together sometimes give vent to tears.
- Don't laugh - even a tiny hamster or a snail can bind with all my soul.
The death of such a pet is the same severity for the heart of a baby as for an adult, for example, the death of a dog who has lived in a family for more than a decade.
- No matter how hard it is for an adult, he needs to control himself and control baby crying. After giving the baby a little cry, we should soon offer cool water, try to distract by talking - you need to try to avoid hysteria.
- The reality of the reincarnation process has not been officially confirmed, but who forbids recalling it in order to console a grieving child?
Hint to the baby that, perhaps, the soul of the dead animal will move to another animal or even to a flower, a beetle. Try to invent a story about the adventures of a friend.who moved to someone else. It is possible that you will have to return to this topic more than once, until life completely distracts the child’s attention with pressing problems. - With the otherworldly life, neither scientists nor other figures of the intellectual field have precisely decided on us. But this does not interfere with the conviction that dogs go to heaven, and for all the dead animals there is a special place on the rainbow.
It will be much easier for the child if he learns from you about such a place and thinks that his faithful friend is now among his relatives and other animals who left this world earlier.
- Be prepared for that indefinitely child reduced activity in school classes and in sections. Show loyalty and even offer assistance in the preparation of tasks. It is possible that it will be enough just to be in the room, doing, for example, some kind of his quiet work while the child prepares lessons.
Hint to the baby that, perhaps, the soul of the dead animal will move to another animal or even to a flower, a beetle. Try to invent a story about the adventures of a friend.who moved to someone else. It is possible that you will have to return to this topic more than once, until life completely distracts the child’s attention with pressing problems.Will the new tailed household help?
Is it worth after a death of a dog or a cat to immediately acquire a new one? For some people, this is quite normal. But you can start a new pet immediately after the old one leaves:
- Sustainable psychewhich helps to look at death simply and without much internal shuddering, painful mental agony.
- Conscious understandingthat a new animal is a completely different individual who will have his habits and inclinations even if he is of the same breed as an animal that has died or been put to sleep.
- The rest of the family have a similar view on life and death, will not try to “squeeze” a new pet into the “halo” left over from the lost - that is, they will not expect from the first the same behavior and those traits in the character, as in the second. After all, animals are also separate individuals, like other living creatures.
Under other circumstances, it is necessary to wait until the choice of a new shaggy, scaly or feather friend to consciously and with the same desire come from the rest of the household.
If one of them is categorically opposed, then it is worth listening to his beliefs and to postpone the expansion of the circle of the caudate households for some time.
Life is good, but it can be cruel to those we love. We only need to be strong and continue our own way, remembering those who disappeared from it earlier.
Psychologist will tell you how to survive the loss of your beloved pet:
