What distinguishes successful people from unsuccessful? Probably many thought about this issue. Eric Bertrand Larssen (motivational trainer) asks the same question to businessmen who have achieved tremendous success. And he gets one answer: "I always thought: everything is possible." Small children have a stock of confidence from birth. Flying to the moon or becoming a wizard - for them there is nothing impossible. But as they mature, many completely lose this ability. But there is also good news: self-confidence can be pumped, just like biceps and triceps. For this, there are self-confidence trainings.
What is self-confidence training?
Self confidence training - is a method of active learning, aimed at the development of psychological "muscles" to improve self-esteem. This is a belief in yourself - in your appearance, intelligence, experience, professionalism. Sure people quite admit that they may not like others, but perceive this fact with a healthy degree of skepticism. Self-confidence manifests itself in the first days after birth. But parents, the environment, the school are trying to pacify the "uncomfortable" character traits. Excessive anxiety or overly aggressive custody of parents mutes self-confidence, which later returns to failure in adult life. But there is also good news - a feeling of confidence can be “pumped through”, like other muscle groups.
The parallel between physical activity and self-confidence is not without reason. Regular exercise increases stress resistance, develop strength, perseverance. Taking care of your physical condition helps control impatience, control time or concentration. People around the fit and sports surrounding are with great interest. During exercise, the body produces endorphins. Hormones of happiness help get rid of irritability and bitterness of failures. And happiness increases self-confidence, because it is directly related to personal effectiveness. Muscles (mental or physiological) require time to replenish energy. Rest breaks for relaxation should be part of the daily routine.
What are self-confidence trainings for?
Faith, self-confidence, love, sympathy - these states are filled with a special energy of happiness. They increase activity and self-esteem. But there are also paralyzing states - anger, jealousy, fear, anxiety, contributing to the depletion of energy. Knowledge of how to manage your states and is the key to confidence. Trainings help to accept oneself in all states - good and bad.
Adults manage to build around a lot of barriers that hinder the achievement of goals. They convince themselves that they deserve a "normal" life. Unloved work, problems of family relations, "toxic" environment help to make sure that they are not worthy of a life that they can remember with pride or great joy. Self-confidence trainings help to lay the foundation of the future building, on the facade of which it will be inscribed: "I can."
Self-esteem - a capricious young lady, but controlled. Not to be confused with her exorbitant ego. The ego does not allow a person to be flexible in relation to himself and others. In addition to hard work to improve self-esteem, you need to focus on your strengths. Adequate assessment of their own achievements, recognition of their merits and victories (even if insignificant) help to move forward. And for the subsequent work, you need to perform a small practical task and understand what practical actions contribute to improving self-esteem:
- Awareness of values. Mahatma Gandhi wrote: "Habits become values. Values become fate." Real values are often forgotten in everyday life. But this is a framework on which all life rests. Awareness of these values helps to make the right decisions. Or "act according to conscience," as our ancestors said.
- Ability to say no. Refusing unfavorable offers, a person clearly forms the following message: "I value myself and my time."
- Purification of personal space from unnecessary things and "toxic" environment. People near whom discomfort is felt, it is better to avoid. It does not work - learn to fight back. And gradually create an environment that will support all initiatives and goals.
- Assertive behavior. The ability not to fall into extremes like aggression or passive idleness. Assertiveness helps to compromise, respect the opinions of others, but not to the detriment of their own goals.
- Self-organization. Planning, setting priorities, keeping a diary helps in financial awareness and tidying up at home and in the workplace.
- Appearance and behavior. Posture, smile, gestures, thoughtful wardrobe - external factors not only improve mood, but also broadcast it to others.
Self-doubt as well as low self-esteem is a product of a person’s personal history. What contributes to this?
- Dependence on the assessment of alien people. Everything is relative. How many people, so many opinions. You just need to remind yourself that for each opinion there is another, diametrically opposite in meaning.
- Guilt and shame. Guilt is an imposed concept. Shame - the result of their own beliefs. In any case, do not dive too much into these experiences, otherwise they will poison the entire adult life.
- Fear of failure. They are not insured the most successful people in the world. Failure is a negative experience. The more failures, the faster a person will be able to learn something.
Belief in one's own strength becomes a fulfilling prophecy. However, like disbelief. Self-confidence trainings provide tools that work regardless of whether the participants believe in it. But if a person believes in his talent, he will come to success much faster.
What are the trainings of confidence
Self-confidence is based on three pillars: self-control, self-esteem and communication skills. Additional skills are patience, openness and ability to maintain trust relationships. Each meeting, one way or another, affects each of the skills, because they are all interconnected. Traditionally, self-esteem trainings are traditionally considered the most popular. But they all have one common name. Therefore, you should definitely take an interest in the full program for all days of classes.
What are:
- Copyright. Media and famous personalities perfectly possess the necessary skills of self-confidence transmission. Meetings with the "powers that be" instill confidence by the mere fact of being with them in the same room. Even if students are not going to improve their acting skills or build a political career,
- Copyright coaching. Famous coaches have already gained enough experience in order to crystallize the essence of the problem. Such meetings are a mix of ideas, exercises, a psychoanalyst reception and an instructive lecture.
- Behavioral. How to pump eloquence or oratorical skills, develop a walk, or dress up in order to get an interview for a leadership position - the habits of a self-confident person are laid down bit by bit.
- Combat imperfections. Freedom from fears or self-doubt, awareness of deficiencies, struggle with stress - they all allow you to get rid of the "ballast". And fill the free space with new qualities.
- Gender. Male or female audience more liberated at the so-called "personal" meetings. Especially it concerns the interaction in the family, where the attitude towards training is ambiguous.
The goal of the training, regardless of the stated theme, is to create conditions for improving the lives of participants. At the event you need to come prepared and be ready to work on yourself. And remember that the coach before each meeting is worried no less than the participants. But he overcomes his fear because he believes that change is possible.
How to choose self-confidence training
The path to success is strewn with thorns. Properly chosen training will help to maintain the loyalty to the chosen course. With modern teaching methods, education and an abundance of information, it’s harder to fail than to succeed. But all methods work only with the desire of students. It is almost impossible to teach an adult person something against his will. Therefore, you should not go to a meeting just because it is so fashionable or someone said that it needs to be done. Determination to learn new raises not only the morale, but also self-esteem.
How to choose a training so that his visit does not become a disappointment?
- Assess the level of training. A sophisticated speaker will not benefit the green novice. For the first experiments, one-day trainings, lectures or seminars are suitable. There, newly minted students will be able to familiarize themselves with the terminology and techniques of interaction with the audience.
- Realize Your Motivation. There are two types of motivation: "motivation to ..." and "motivation from ...". The first is the desire for success, increasing self-esteem. The second is an attempt to avoid fears or escape from failures. If there is no clear understanding, go to familiarization events or ask for help from a coach or a psychoanalyst.
- Understand the depth of the problem. In this case, without a psychologist can not do. All problems come from childhood. And if an adult has unprocessed children's fears or offenses, then no external instructions will help to gain faith in one's own strength.
Self-esteem falls from inaction. There is no opportunity to attend training - you can read literature. There is no money to buy literature - there are plenty of blogs, official websites and articles on topics of interest on the net. The first step is always difficult. But for those who decide on him, life opens new doors of opportunity.
Self-esteem, like self-confidence, is a fragile thing. It is constantly being tested from the outside. A person with inner strength does not cease to believe that change is possible. He finds support in internal values, because he knows that the most important thing in his life. Self-confidence trainings help to pump "emotional" muscles with tension beyond capabilities. But in order to gain inner strength, you need to make an effort.
