A rare married couple has never been close to a break: unfortunately, it is very difficult to live for many years with the same person, knowing all his character traits, strengths and weaknesses.
Conflicts between spouses are common business, no family can do without them. But what to do if the spouse decides to leave the family, live separately, and you do not want it? How to return a husband to a family without love spells and conspiracies?
The content of the article:
What to do if the wife put her husband
If he left at will
What you can not do: the mistakes of wives
Psychologist's comment
Before you take any action to return the husband, sincerely answer yourself the question: do I want him to come back? If you have a lot of doubts instead of a firm “yes” or “no,” then it is worthwhile to postpone any maneuvers and understand yourself. The main thing - do not begin to flog a fever, otherwise the deed will then not change.
If you are sure that the family should be kept, proceed to action. Arm yourself with patience and prepare yourself for the fact that in many respects you will have to give in and compromise. The way how to return the husband to the family depends on the situation between you now.
If you broke up on your initiative
Often the conflict is due to the fact that the spouse expresses everything that boils, and as a result, either she herself expels the husband, or he, offended, leaves at will. If you are to blame for the tiff, then do not waste time and talk with your husband. Better to do it in neutral territory.
Assign him a date in a cafe or restaurant, pre-ordering a table. Why a restaurant? This is a public place where you will definitely both hold yourself together and do not quarrel even more. Put on your most beautiful dress, make styling and makeup. These simple female receptions always work flawlessly, especially if the husband really loves you.
Tune in to a calm conversation and that you will have to silently listen to all his claims - after all, it's your fault that he is now spending the night with a friend or parents. It is in your interest to return your husband as soon as possible before he goes on the spree, so hold your horses, do not respond to his resentment with aggression.
Show that you realize that you are wrong, apologize for your behavior. Tell me how you miss him. If the husband also wants to return, he will not be able to resist.
If you broke up on his initiative
This is a more difficult situation, the solution of which is not always possible to find. The fact is that men for the most part do not enter twice into the same river and do not insist on breaking, if for no good reason. If he did want to get a divorce, it means that he either fell out of love with you, or was tired of living together, or he had a mistress who demanded his departure from the family. It is likely that all of these reasons occur in your case.
In this situation, also try to talk first. But this should be done not immediately after the break, but in a few days or even weeks. During this time, he will be able to experience how it is to live without you.
Time will show his real attitude: either he will be disappointed in his decision, or he will establish himself in it. There is no need to put pressure on a man who has left the family of his own free will: you can't be forced by force. Excessive activity on your part will only annoy him.
Change what kept you from being happy
An important stage in the process of returning the husband to the family is positive changes that will help you make him understand that all problems can be solved. Here are some tips to help you do this:
- If he didn’t like something in your everyday life, correct it: you didn’t like your dishes - go to cooking classes, you didn’t have enough sex - arrange him a passionate night with role-playing games, it was boring - invite him to bungee jumping or go-karting.
- Let the positive changes occur in your appearance: sign up for a dance or in some creative circle, change your image, start reading classics, watch French cinema - do whatever your heart desires. So you will become happier, and her husband will certainly notice. Men are attracted to women who have inner harmony, and it can only be achieved in one way: by fulfilling all their desires and dreams.
- Go together to a family psychologist: for many couples, this helps to start a complex dialogue, during which true differences between spouses and family problems that interfere with harmonious union can be found.
Common Wives Mistakes
Many women themselves deprive themselves of the chance to return the husband to the family, because they simply behave incorrectly after breaking up. What not to do if you want to return the spouse who left the family?
- Calling him to return (write sms, watch him near work, etc.) - this will only push him away. A woman who imposes herself loses her value in the eyes of a man.
- Chase his mistress, trying to figure out the relationship with her, revenge her, or even beat her. When females fight over a male, he only grows in his own eyes. It is likely that with this development, he will soon lead himself to a third love.
- Insult your husband, trying to hurt him. This will only alienate him: an aggressive woman is the last thing associated with a happy marriage.
- Set up children against him or forbid to see them. It is stupid, selfish and very cruel. He is their father, and, with the exception of the most extreme cases, has the right to communicate with them. Not only will you immediately cause his anger, but, perhaps, rejection by the children, if they themselves can already form their own opinion about your relationship.
- Put pressure on pity. Many wives are truly disgusted with themselves if they constantly cry, act up, ask for help. The husband will first react, but then he will understand that this is just a way of manipulation. And men hate when they are trying to control.
Behavior Recommendations
How to return a husband and how to behave better for this? Here are some tips that will help not only save the marriage, but also bring your relationship to a new stage:
- Maintain dignity in every situation. Do not cry when he comes to meeting with children - instead, behave gently, hold up a conversation, ask how he is doing.
- Watch out for yourself. From a well-groomed, beautiful woman who knows her worth, it is always more difficult to leave than from a tear-stained gray mouse in a crumpled robe and greasy hair. In spite of everything, watch your appearance, be fully armed when he glances over to you to pick up things or see children.
- Make him jealous. If possible, ask a colleague from work or a friend to take you to the meeting place with her husband so that he can see that you have come with a man. If he asks about who it was, do not flirt and do not exaggerate, but respond evasively to make him jealous. Most men are hunters who love to pursue an attractive and desirable prey for other predators. Become an attractive victim in his eyes, and he himself will start to seek you.
If everything is in vain, and you can’t get him back to the family, then you shouldn’t give up and fall into a prolonged depression.
You have two scenarios: either he will return some time later, disappointed in his life without you, or you will definitely meet a new love that will make you forget about the painful break with your ex-husband.
Learn to see positive things in everything, and your life will soon change for the better, with or without your husband.
Rufina, Astrakhan
