Never say never - this is how one can characterize a mid-life crisis, into whose trap everyone can get, regardless of achievements, status in society, marital status. In order to recognize the crisis in time, having begun to act, you need to know the enemy by sight: become familiar with the symptoms and learn about ways to counteract the age syndrome.
What is a midlife crisis
A midlife crisis is a special emotional state that occurs between the ages of 35 and 55 on the basis of a rethinking of one’s own life experience and is characterized by a number of features. The approximate duration of the crisis is from 1 to 3 years, but in some cases it lasts up to 7 years, becoming stagnant. This stage in the life of a man is considered a natural process that must be tried not to be avoided, but to survive with dignity.
Symptoms of the crisis:
- Life does not bring pleasure: work becomes uninteresting, the usual daily routine is depressing, and communication with loved ones causes irritation.
- General depressive state: increased anxiety, apathy, self-pity and emptyness, craving for alcohol or other substances that help to get away from reality.
- Every day the same questions appear in my head: "What is my meaning in life?", "What have I achieved?", "Is this what I wanted from life?". It is the need to find the answer to them is the impetus for fundamental changes.
- Increased interest in young women in order to feel like a seducer.
- Traction to freedom, change of style in dress and behavior, shocking.
How to survive a midlife crisis
Accept yourself
The middle-aged crisis implies a critical view of oneself and the rejection of one’s own image. Irritation, dissatisfaction, aggression reach their apogee, when a person realizes that he has become absolutely not the one who we would like. The thought of living a life in vain leads to despair.
Feelings are exacerbated when comparing the achievements of friends with their own, because the grass on the neighboring lawn often seems greener.
The important point at this stage is the holistic acceptance of oneself and one’s life path. It is not possible to change the past, but you can forgive yourself for mistakes made or unrealized plans right now. To accept yourself as you really are, you need to look at reality in the eyes. Adequate assessment of strengths, capabilities, and willingness to change can be the first step towards major changes.
Keep balance
Perhaps one of the most favorable moments has come for the start of serious concern for your physical and internal balance. Achieve harmony will help sports, ega or other physical activity to improve the body. If not to neglect occupations, together with calories negative emotions, a bad mood, a rage "will burn" partially.
Increase the internal charge under the force of new impressions: diving, conquering the summit, winter hunting, extreme travel.
Vivid events will bring the missing colors, distracting from annoying thoughts about the failed plans.
Actively attend
The middle age crisis is a reason to get a bonus portion of love, care, understanding from friends and relatives. An active presence in the life of family, friends, colleagues allows you to feel needed and in demand. It is important to maintain a certain distance, respecting the independence of others and outlining their own.
Do not hurry
The statistics asserts that the peak of divorces falls on the crisis period, when the desire for cardinal momentary changes becomes a fix with a real idea. The fear that time flies forever, pushes for rash fateful acts. Deciding to suddenly leave the family, to feel in love and inspired as in his youth, a man falls into a trap.
Over time, admiration for each other changes to mutual reproaches, and the habits of a new partner become a cause for irritation, as well as a constant comparison with the former wife.
As they say, to break is not to build, therefore in order to avoid a destructive effect, it is better to proceed to changes consciously and slowly.
Be a winner
The midlife crisis can be used to advantage, by deciding to accumulate anger and irritation to combat bad habits, ingrained fears or phobias. This lesson can turn into an exciting game, out of which the winner is a matter of principle. Anything can be the reason for the beginning of the war: from the decision to quit smoking or eat fast food to the desire to cope with claustrophobia. Pride in oneself, admiration for one’s own willpower raises self-esteem, gives strength, motivating for further accomplishments.
Enjoy the experience
By the age of 40, every person has a priceless treasure - life experience that cannot be lent, bought or falsified. It allows you to avoid mistakes, giving the opportunity to warn others. We must learn to appreciate it, knowing that experience is a kind of philosophical stone, an attractive intrigue, mystery and depth.
No matter how strong a man is, coping with a depressive state alone will be much harder for him. The midlife crisis, the psychology of which was previously studied by his wife, is amenable to eradication much faster and painlessly.
How to be a partner?
- Have patience, believing that the crisis will soon pass.
- Prevent tantrums, jealousy scenes, or showdowns. Emotions, being perceived with bayonets, will only make things worse, because the partner now feels the victims themselves precisely;
- Envelop half with genuine love, care and affection, making it clear that the family accepts it as it is;
- To praise achievements, successes and victories, thus enhancing personal self-esteem. We all sometimes need words of support.
- Do not restrict freedom, controlling every step. It is important to understand that a person has the right to decide for himself how to act in a given situation.
- If possible, diversify leisure, focusing on spending time together. Ideal - go on a trip.
- Pay particular attention to sexual relationships, finding the zest or adding something original to the intimate life.
Studying ways out of a difficult situation, the main thing to remember is that age-related crises are temporary phenomena that end sooner or later.
But for someone, a middle age crisis can become a cancer diagnosis, which has destroyed one’s acquired material in one fell swoop, and for someone - a springboard for a new takeoff. It all depends on how much a man is ready to meet him.
