“Leave me alone! I will not go anywhere! I hate school! ”The child shouts to parents. Those are angry and perplexed: let's say, few people love school, but still they somehow studied? Why is their child so desperately protesting?
There is a considerable difference between simply unloved business and hatred for some process or institution. Sometimes children start to get sick - not a chip with a heated thermometer, but real diseases. Because of the depressed state, the immune system weakens and a cold or eating disorders appear due to stress. It may sound strange, but it does happen. To help your child, you need to know the reason for this attitude to school. The article provides several standard situations with fictional characters.
The reasons
Hate to school is usually based on one of three reasons:
-
classmates; - learning difficulties;
- lack of parental attention.
classmates;Classmates. At the thought of school, Alena starts to get a headache and fatigue appears. She is not lazy at all, on the contrary, she likes to study. But a few girls in the class gave her a real persecution. Passing by, they will surely push her, shout insulting nicknames through the whole corridor and make fun of everything that the girl would not wear. Yesterday they threw a dead cockroach in her notebook, today they lied to the teacher that she had written off her homework. When they turn to her, Alena involuntarily shudders - under the mocking laughter of classmates. The girl hates them, and at the same time she is deeply disgusted with the institution that unites her with these people.
School is not just a place where children are taught. This institution with its society, orders and problems. This society consists mainly of children who are just learning to communicate, and adolescents - but they are not always balanced. Teachers cannot control everyone, especially since each next generation is getting worse and worse.
Difficulties in learning. How many Anton remembers himself, it was hard for him to study. It is difficult for him to memorize, he is poorly versed in formulas and theorems. He sees that others do it easily and quickly, but he does not, and therefore he does not even want to try. Moreover, when he asks for help to understand someone, there is not enough time for parents and teachers. He likes sports, so why waste time on something else?
When children tell their parents that something is hard for them, they usually hear back that they just have to try. But as far as parents themselves are willing to make efforts where they are not very successful?
Sveta studied well before, but now she has fallen into three. Teachers and parents wonder what's wrong? And Sveta is not interested. Whether it was the case earlier, for example, in English classes, passing letters, they sang them, and painted and read poems about them. And now - a boring grammar, from which the eyes stick together. Parents blame both Sveta for being lazy and teachers for not being able to interest, but the situation does not change.
Lack of parental attention. Andrei hates school, and he doesn’t care what people are there and what they are taught there. The fact is that when he comes home, he quickly dines alone in front of the TV and goes to learn lessons. With parents it is possible to spread only a couple of on-duty phrases. He feels cut off from them, and he wants to be at home so that his mother would talk to him, and his father would tell mathematics in his own way and in an interesting way. Every morning, Andrew desperately wants to get sick, sleep, anything, just to stay at home.
What can be done
Not always the reason for the child’s reluctance to go to school is obvious to the parents. But finding it out is not difficult - usually a fairly relaxed conversation. When children see that parents are sincerely trying to understand them, they are ready to open up.
During the conversation it is very important to refrain from accusations. If the child hears that he is just lazy, he no longer wants to learn or talk.
If the problem is in classmates, it is important to help the child develop self-confidence and show that nothing depends on the opinion of his peers. The school will end, and perhaps in a few years he will not even remember the names of everyone with whom he studied. A son or daughter must be firmly convinced that their parents love them very much and, if necessary, they will come to school and do everything to protect them.
But when they grow up, they will have to face different people, including those who are similar to their classmates. You need to learn to avoid conflicts - literally and figuratively, and sometimes be able to play a trick on the situation. In any case, when offenders see that their words do not hurt, over time they will lose interest. You can rehearse with the children possible attacks and answers. So the child will feel more confident.
Not easy for everyone to learn. When someone needs more time to understand something, it does not mean that he is lazy. It is worth explaining to the child that the knowledge that is given in school is necessary; even if they are not needed in life, training trains the ability to reflect, highlight the main thing and draw conclusions. And this is definitely useful in the future. If your time and patience is not enough, you can ask for help from a tutor.
At the same time, one should not be maximalists, and demand excellent results in everything - if the child does not cope, he will simply wave his hand at everything.
On the other hand, sometimes you have to explain that not all activities in life should be enjoyable. And the school also helps to learn how to do things that you don’t really like. After all, even at your favorite work there are unpleasant moments or just fatigue. If a child learns to overcome this at school, then in the future it will be much easier for him.
A busy schedule is the fate of both children and parents. Sometimes, because of employment, people do not even have time to fully communicate with those closest to them. Doctors and scientists proved: if children lack attention, they start to hurt and develop worse. A good tradition in many families is to meet at the table at least once a day. After all, everyone still spends time on food, so why not spend it together? The truth is worth considering that the included TV negates all communication.
Most likely, it will not be possible to immediately overcome the hatred of the child for school. But over time, spontaneous conversations about how to avoid conflicts and how to learn to do what you don’t like, as well as friendly communication with the child will help him to relate to this part of his life.
