People often experience self-doubt and extol others above themselves.
It is possible and even necessary to fight this! Want to learn how to love yourself?
Psychologist advice will help you.
What are the causes of the complexes?
Why I do not love myself? Of reasons self-dislike can be quite a lot.
And they are individual for each person. But there are major ones that occur most often:
- Diffidencecoming from childhood. Complexes originate in us in the early years. Often, parents themselves, without noticing it, undermine our self-confidence. “Yes, your hands are not growing from that place”, “I didn’t write the test card very well, but you cannot do it either”, “With such assessments, you can only go to the janitors when you grow up,” “You can walk only with a computer play your toys! No sense from you ”- often heard something similar in childhood?
Then it is not surprising that now there is neither self-confidence nor love.
- Comparison with others. Probably, you already do not even notice that, looking through social networks, you think about how everything is all good and how bad you are. Everyone has a beautiful life, stylish clothes, a trim figure, endless fans, trips around the world and much more. What about you? Hateful work and evening in front of the TV? And how can you love yourself?
- Obsessed with their shortcomings. Constantly think that your appearance could be more interesting, your height is taller, the figure is more constructed, and the character is better? If you constantly think about it and don’t work on yourself, then the complexes will only grow, and the attitude towards you will deteriorate.
Take the self-dislike test:
Definition of pride
Who is a proud person and an egoist? Who is a man who loves only himself?
Selfishness - This is the tendency to evaluate yourself and your strength highly enough.
At the same time, along with this quality, there is also increased sensitivity and vulnerability in relation to the opinions of others about themselves.
Selfishness - This is the next step after vanity. A person no longer simply evaluates himself highly, but puts himself at the forefront in all matters.
It is important to understand that neither pride nor selfishness will not give you a correct assessment about their actions. This is a distorted opinion about yourself.
The higher the pride, the more painful a person reacts to the opinion of himself and to criticism from outside.
What is sore self-esteem, wounded or deprived pride? Which means a blow to vanity?
When a person is hurt by the opinions of others about himself and it seems to him that people underestimate him, then they talk about sick or hurt pride.
Any criticism perceived painfully and strongly offends. In this case, it may not be exactly the words, a deed may also be a blow to pride.
On the pros and cons of being selfish in this video:
Psychology of self-love
How does self love manifest? What does it mean to love yourself?
Self love is manifested in positive attitude to your own emotions, your body, and indeed in the optimistic perception of life.
Loving yourself means that you believe in yourself, take good care of your physical and emotional state, you know your worth. There are two main features that reflect this:
- You accept yourself completely, along with all the advantages and disadvantages. The important point here is that you know your strengths, which give you confidence. You are proud of yourself and your achievements. But you can also take a sober look at your negative sides, which every person has.
You know your weaknesses and, if possible and necessary, work on them.
- You care about yourself and your own needs. You do not put yourself in the first place in everything: there are situations in life when the interests of others are more significant than yours. But you know your own worth and do not allow you to throw your needs into the background. You give yourself to relax and unwind, and you can also refuse someone if they hurt your interests.
How to love yourself? 5 habits of a loving person:
How to love your personality?
Where to start?
General tips and advice:
- Think optimistic. The first time is to follow what you think. If negative emotions prevail, then to a greater extent they do not allow you to love yourself. Therefore, first of all, try to replace them with positive ones. Believe in the best, dream, think about the good!
- Be patient. Most often, low self-esteem appears because we want to become perfect by magic and simply do not know how to wait. A typical example: a girl suffers from being overweight. She decides to change her figure, goes on a diet, and starts going to the gym. It takes only a week and she throws it all. Why? Because the changes, if any, are minor.
I want everything to be right away. So try to be patient. It also takes time to love yourself.
- Stop comparing. If you look at the beautiful life on TV or in social networks and constantly think that everything is much worse for you, it is not surprising that self-esteem will be lower than the baseboard. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Accept all your uniqueness and uniqueness.
- Do not wait for support from the side, do it yourself. No need to wait for others to tell you how good you are and everything you can do. Maintain such thoughts on your own. To do this, you can try to say positive attitudes to yourself, such as “I am strong and confident in myself” or “I will succeed in everything”.
How to overcome self-dislike?
- Stop scolding and criticizing yourself again. People are not perfect. You can't be the best at everything. So drop this perfectionism. If you want to love yourself, accept all your advantages and disadvantages. No one bothers to cultivate, but do not dwell on it.
- Tune in to success. In the morning, go to the mirror and tell yourself that today will be a wonderful day. During the day, think that you are a strong and confident person. Constantly remind yourself that everything will work out. Smile around and its reflection. At bedtime, remind yourself that you have done great today.
These little things will allow you to feel the right attitude and dislike towards yourself will gradually go away.
How to accept yourself so coca is?
- You need to accept your negative traits.. They have all. You can work on them if you want, but you still cannot become a completely perfect person. Therefore, make a list of your negative qualities and understand already that everything is not so bad and you can live with it.
- Do yourself compliments and praise yourself. Surely you often criticize yourself. Now remember when you praised yourself? It's time to start. Sit down at the end of the day and remember how it went.
Try to remember at least three points for which you could praise yourself.
Even if they are minor. Even if you just looked good and were optimistic all day. Tell yourself how well done you are and how well you are doing.
How to love your appearance and your body?
Often we are too picky just for our appearance. The figure is not so, the eyes are too small, the legs are crooked, the ears stick out ... The list is endless. But in fact, everything is not so scary.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Tell me how good you look. Yes, there is always something to work on. But in general, everything is not bad?
Moreover, it prevents you from addressing the existing shortcomings and trying them. adjust or hide?
How to accept yourself? How to start self-love? Useful recommendations:
Tips and tricks from psychologists
I do not like myself: what to do? Psychologists will help you develop true love and respect for yourself.
For men
How to love yourself truly and get rid of the complexes? We are accustomed to perceive men as strong and confident, but this is not always the case.
Some of the stronger sex also suffer from self-dislike.
If you belong to this category and want to get rid of the complexes, then first of all you need to believe in yourself. Try to focus on your strengths and work on the disadvantages.
How to learn to love and respect yourself? You will not begin to respect others until you yourself begin to treat yourself that way.
Understand finally that you deserve the best and deserve it. Put your needs above the interests of others, if necessary.
Do various exercises to raise self-esteem.
Psychological techniques and exercises:
- Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. What is your advantage? What disadvantages are there and what can be done with them? This list will help you look at yourself. And understand that everything is not as bad as it seemed.
- Control your thoughts. You can hang a rubber band on your arm and beat your arm around her every time you think ill of yourself. So you learn to think in a negative way and tune in a positive way.
- Use technique self-hypnosis. If every morning you will repeat in front of the mirror how confident and strong you are, then soon you will believe it yourself. The main thing is to do it regularly and consciously.
- Evolve. It will be easier to love yourself if you constantly increase the list of skills and achievements.
If you want to delve into this question and read books on this topic, then pay attention to the following:
- A. Maksimov “Psychophilosophy. A book for those who confused themselves with a stone ";
- S. Richardson “The art of being selfish. Love yourself and start living life to the fullest ”;
- M. Litvak "If you want to be happy";
- V. Zeland "Transurfing Reality".
Learn how to love yourself and gain self-confidence:
For women
How to become selfish and love only yourself?
How to learn to appreciate and become happy? Women tend to underestimate themselves. But you can also learn to work with these.
Begin to appreciate yourself. Do what you want. Do not think about others. Concentrate on what you want. During the day, constantly remind yourself how happy you are.
How to love yourself and be loved? You have probably heard that until you love yourself, no one will love. Therefore, if you suffer from the fact that your partner underestimates you or you cannot find a decent man, then start with yourself. Try various exercises and techniques that will help you to love yourself.
Psychological techniques and exercises:
- Tell about your feelings to yourself.. Find a time when no one will disturb you. And tell me how you feel about yourself. Appearance, character - touch all the questions.
- Tune in to the positive. Write on a piece of paper all the settings that bother you and replace them with positive ones. For example, "I am too shy to achieve something" should be changed to "I am strong and can reach the heights that I want."
- Write yourself a letter. Talk to yourself honestly. First, say all that you do not like in yourself. Then thank yourself for your strengths. And promise yourself that you will start working on yourself and become even better.
- Take yourself. You are unique. With all these "flaws", which are most likely nothing but your raisin. Understand that you are beautiful.
- Use positive attitudes. If in the morning, in front of the mirror, tell yourself how beautiful and adorable you are, then self-confidence will strengthen with you every day.
For women, we will recommend the following books on this topic:
- N. Wolfe "The Myth of Beauty";
- E. Lamotte "Little Victories";
- G. Dore “Love. Style. A life";
- M. Labkovsky "I want and I will";
- D. Lynn “Love a woman. Become a goddess for yourself and others ";
- G. Moore "Love yourself, the rest will catch up."
Love yourself and treat yourself with respect really not that hard. The main thing to realize the problem and decide to move in a new direction. Try these tips and see the changes soon.
How to love a woman? Find out from the video: