Relations don't always go smoothly. even if you are already married.
Small quarrels, offenses, perhaps even the worst thing - treason.
Why does this happen? Why do men cheat on wives, but do not go away?
Are all men capable of treason?
Of course not. If a man appreciates her darling, respects his choice, he will not change.
He can touch on this topic, even think about it.
But in practice, this will not happen. But This is an extremely rare type of men..
Do all men change? Find out from the video:
Psychology and causes
Why and why men or boys cheating on their wives?
- The need for sexual contact. This happens when there are problems with the wife in the intimate sphere. A man lacks this, sexual energy accumulates, and he gives her a way out on the side.
As a rule, this is a short-term relationship that does not have an emotional attachment.
- Desire for diversity. In this case, a man changes only because he is bored, tired of a measured family life and routine. He wants something new. Also the cause may be monotony in sex.
- Alcoholic intoxication. Alcohol liberates, removes taboos and increases sexual desire.
- Feelings for another. The wife has already become something familiar, and then new feelings suddenly flashed. And the man decides to start a relationship with her, just in case not finishing the old ones.
- Perseverance by another woman. You'd be surprised, but many women are ready to make contact with a man, even if they know that he has a family. Such women does not stop anything, and they go ahead, trying to achieve the desired. Not every man is able to cope with such pressure and resist the temptation.
- The desire to assert itself. Perhaps your husband did not realize his ambitions in his career and therefore decided to amuse his self-esteem in the love sphere.
With the number of sexual victories, such a man tries to compensate for his own professional failure.
- The feeling of revenge. Perhaps you yourself have changed a man or in some other way humiliated him, touched male vanity. In this case, cheating is just a desire for revenge.
- Separation with my wife for a while. A business trip or separate vacation - for some men this is the real reason to change your wife.
- Bonus for your progress. Such a man has long fought for his career, throwing all his strength on the professional implementation. And now, when he achieved such heights, he believes that he can afford to have a mistress.
Three reasons why men change in this video:
Male look and the most shocking answers
Men and women look at treason differently.
Representatives of the stronger sex can decide to commit adultery as a result of many reasons and often do not see what this is about.
Why do guys change? Here is what they say about treason:
- "I often travel on business trips. From the very beginning, when I returned home, my wife yelled at me that I was cheating on her. And so every time. I then thought: why doesn’t she yell at me about the case? And he began to change." Nikita, 32 years old;
- "I do not change anyone. For me, every woman is a whole universe. And I study them, explore. I love every one of them. It’s a pity we’re forbidden to have several wives at once." Alexander, 40 years old;
- “It’s boring for me not to cheat on my wife. It’s like a thrill. For example, I don’t want to jump with a parachute. My health is more important. And then I went to the left and didn’t get caught? Here he is adrenaline!” Artem, 39 years old;
- "I immediately told my wife that I would change with just anyone. I'm a man! I have a six-month business trip, I can’t do it all the time without sex. I hate it when I say so, but what can I do. My wife suffers. So change so shall I continue. " Andrey, 35 years old;
- "For me, this is a game. Moreover, what can you do if testosterone rolls over? I have a regular woman and every time I go to the side, I compare everyone with her. As long as she wins." Konstantin, 27 years old;
- “It’s all about the wife. I probably wouldn’t have changed if there were no problems with her. Nothing excites her, in bed like a log. If I knew, I wouldn’t marry her. And now the children have gone. Yes, and in principle, the house is clean, the dinner is always delicious, so I don’t want to leave. It is much easier to rent a prostitute and everything, the need is satisfied, you can go home safely. " Yuri, 32 years old;
- "I like to assert myself. As long as I can hook a girl, it means that there is still a peasant's strength in me. But only so that without obligations. Slept and fled: she wants to go there, and I want to go to my wife. My wife is fine, but one woman is not self-assertive, she is mine. " Victor, 35 years old.
Why do husbands cheat on beautiful wives? Male opinion:
Consequences of infidelity
When they change, they hardly think about what consequences await them and how this affair will affect their wives. Yes, and about their possible state at this moment they do not think at all.
It often happens that after treason a man feels guilty. He becomes nervous, afraid that it will all surface.
When marital infidelity becomes known the guilty person begins to feel regret. Often he repents and asks for forgiveness. The wife at this moment is experiencing severe pain and depression, feels betrayed.
There are two ways out of this situation:
- Spouses talk for a long time, find out the relationship, but decide to save the marriage. However, it should be understood that on both sides in this situation a lot of patience and a desire to return to the old relationship will be required. However, the trust that was before, you can forget.
- Spouses understandthat relationship save will not work and decide to divorce. In this case, the man believes that he will be able to bring their relationship with his mistress to the official level. But often in this situation, they are faced with the fact that she does not need it or the relationship simply does not add up. His wife is usually also difficult to make new relationships, because of the past treachery, it is difficult for her to trust men.
Opinion of the psychologist
Why do married men change, but do not leave their wives?
- Everything suits you. It is very convenient to have a family and a lover on the side. It is cozy and comfortable at home, food will be prepared, you can spend your time pleasantly. And the mistress will add color to the sex life, will make the man feel able to charm someone other than his wife. And many really like this double life.
- Fear of change. It is likely that the man really fell in love with his mistress and sincerely wants to leave the family, start a new relationship. But these are serious changes for which he is simply not ready. You never know how it goes? Maybe they will not get along together? Or does she have feelings for him?
- Fear of condemnation. In our society, it is not particularly welcomed when a man, after many years of marriage, leaves his wife (and even more so if with children) and goes to his mistress. Therefore, relatives, friends and colleagues may not respond in the best way. Especially during the years of your marriage, you have made common friends who will definitely condemn such an act.
- Call of Duty. Once he really loved his spouse, but now his feelings have died away. But he swore that he would always be with her! Therefore, a man feels a sense of duty to his wife. And decides that it is better to just have a girl on the side.
After all, if he becomes the initiator of the divorce, it will mean that he did not keep this promise. And so maybe no one will know.
- Children. Love for the wife may have passed, but not for the children. Attachment and responsibility for them can leave a man in the family. Moreover, in the event of a divorce, the wife may forbid to see them.
- There is no confidence in their own feelings. If his love for his wife has passed, then where is the guarantee that the same will not happen to his mistress? Then why risk it?
- Lack of confidence in the feelings of a mistress. If a man is not sure that the mistress is ready to build a strong and long relationship with him, then he can simply change, remaining in the family.
- The material question. Now he has everything: apartment, life. And if he goes to his mistress, it may not be reflected in his wallet in the best way. Therefore, he does not dare to divorce and a new family.
- He really loves his wife. Women are hard to understand. But it happens that a man changes not because his feelings for his darling have cooled, but for other reasons. And for him it can be quite a normal situation. So he doesn't even think about leaving the family.
Why does a man get a mistress, but does not leave the family? Psychologist's answer:
What if he walks to the left?
Psychologist tips:
- Do not panic. Yes, now you are subject to emotions. And the only thing you want is to make a grand scandal and brainwash your spouse. But this is not the best way. The very first thing you need to pull yourself together. It is better to look at this situation with a cool head.
So, if necessary, take a short pause, stay alone with yourself and put your thoughts in order.
- Do not try to meet with the one with whom he changed you. In fact, whatever it is, but the only one to blame for this situation is your husband. That woman might not know about your existence. And even if you knew, do not remove the responsibility for treason from your spouse. Even if she is young and beautiful. So this meeting will give you nothing.
- Do not find out the relationship with children. They are definitely not guilty of anything and do not deserve to listen to your scandals and tantrums. Either take the children away or retire yourself. And in no case can they tell them what a dad is bad and how he offended you! For them, he must remain a good person. Do not spoil the children relationship with their father.
- No need to get excited and immediately show her husband at the door. The most important thing is to sit down and discuss everything. You need to now understand whether you can live with this ordinary family life. And it turns out that you expelled your husband, and then forgiven. You want to return him, but he will already live with his mistress. So do not give in to emotions.
- Find out the reason for treason. Yes, it can be unpleasant. Yes, a man can blame you all. But you need to understand why this situation occurred. Otherwise, you can not move on.
- Give way to emotions. But for this you need to retire. No need to do this with a husband, friends or parents. Stay alone with yourself and quietly cry or shout. You can take a piece of paper and a pen, and write everything that is in your head now and what you think about the situation.
Psychologists love this technique, as it helps to see the problem and find a way out of it.
- A husband must feel guilty. Even if you decide to forgive him. He is guilty of having changed you and should understand this. Do not try to screen it and all the more blame yourself.
- If you realize that you cannot live with this, do not torture yourself. Require a divorce. Why do you need a life full of suffering and reminders of betrayal?
- Decided forgive my husband? You still need to sit down and talk. Tell him how unpleasant this situation is for you. How do you hurt. Warn that you can hardly ever trust him as you did before. Tell them that he will need a lot of patience and, if he is ready for this, you agree to continue the relationship. But it will not be easy. And be sure to tell me that this is unacceptable for you and, if you repeat it again, you will leave.
Also be sure to discuss how you facilitate each other's life, what to do in order to build relationships. In such a situation, joint work on marriage is important.
Men's treason hurts a woman muchregardless of its cause. Psychological advice will help you understand why this happened and how to deal with it.
I cheated! Why and what to do? Psychotherapy: