Shyness is common to all people, but sometimes it goes too high. It hinders to get acquainted, to achieve the goals set and there is a constant obsession with one’s emotions and experiences. As a result, clarity of thought is lost. Shyness is often formed from childhood and then for many years spoils life. It seems that nothing can be changed, and so will be all the time. But there are a number of ways that can solve this problem.
What is shyness
Shyness is an awkward feeling in the presence of people, difficulty in getting close to them or even in supporting a routine conversation. It often arises because of lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, inability to build a dialogue and behave properly. Shyness forces one to shut oneself in oneself and dwell heavily on one's experiences, feelings, emotions. Therefore, thinking is clouded. Anxiety, loneliness develops. Often this mental state may be accompanied by depressive disorders.
It can be triggered by three main groups of people:
- Unfamiliar people - you do not know what to expect from them, and it scares.
- Chiefs - have a certain power over the worker, do not want to fall face down in the dirt in front of them.
- Opposite sex - fear of how to behave properly, so as not to lose the opportunity to get close.
Psychologists say that shyness is formed in a person in childhood. Parents did not accept all the qualities in the child, often pointed out its shortcomings. Therefore, after some time, he is acutely aware of negative features in himself, for which he is ashamed in front of others.
There is another theory of the development of shyness., in more adult age. In life is a strict teacher at the university, the dominant partner or friend. They acted as a controller above his head. And even if they are not there in some situation, there is still a feeling that someone is strictly supervising and can speak negatively.
The feeling of awkwardness forces one to be timid and constantly choose the work of a subordinate, to play minor roles. Also in a relationship, a nursery shy person will not find someone comfortable with, then he will be constantly afraid of conflict and defend his position.
Who is a shy person
A shy person is someone who is uncomfortable to communicate with other people, does not like meetings, parties, secretive, prefers loneliness, often has low self-confidence and fear of a certain group of people.
Often inherent features such as seriousness, modesty and restraint. They are positively evaluated by other people. Also, they are prone to more careful selection of loved ones, which forms a reliable circle of partners and friends.
Shy people are well make important decisions, because there is time to think about everything alone. But everything else leaves negative imprints: on relationships, communication and in general in life. According to statistics, 85% of these people want to get rid of the annoying feelings of such methods.
How to overcome shyness?
Fear analysis
To overcome the enemy, you need to learn about him as much information as possible. It is necessary to analyze the situations that make shy. What exactly bothers them: what kind of people, what they say, what conditions around them.
You can look from the outside, that some things are completely harmless. And find a solution for what really causes anxiety and panic. Sitting at home in a cozy room, you can find a way out, and then just apply it in real communication. Perhaps it will not work the first time, but practice will correct everything.
See the enemy in the face
If communication with other people leads to confusion, then you need to get used to and gain experience of talking with strangers. For this it is worth going to new companies, courses, lectures. Consciously expose yourself to situations to go out of your comfort zone.
Each time, new people will not seem so dangerous and incomprehensible. It will be easier to find topics for conversation, and his cheeks will stop blushing altogether. Such situations of dating will become commonplace and will not cause alarm.
Is learning
To date, a large amount of information on the Internet in the form of articles, videos on how to learn how to properly communicate with people. How to choose a topic, how to monitor your facial expressions and body posture, how to recognize the interlocutor's attitude to you or directly to words.
You can go to public speaking courses to practice diction. There will be an opportunity to speak to an improvised audience many times - to adapt to such situations, and simply to communicate with a large company.
Recall benefits
Constant confusion makes focus only on their cons. But everyone has something to praise for. Whether it is honesty, well developed intellectual abilities or the ability to perfectly bake pies. This can be remembered before an awkward situation to raise self-esteem.
Every day you can repeat your positive personality traits: while brushing your teeth, going to work, cooking dinner. Or to say in my mind: "I am a good friend," "I am a successful businessman," "I read a lot of books," "I graduated from the university with a red diploma."
Be a good listener
People who are embarrassed also need attention, they want to be heard. No one wants to harm, say barbs or convict in a bad way of communication. Therefore, you can help with this.
The attention will be switched from internal emotions and feelings of shame to the interlocutor. The tension and the level of fear to say something wrong will decrease. There is an adaptation to the person, there will be more confidence to respond. Yes, and such respect for the words of others greatly brings together and has an opponent.
Not afraid of conviction
According to statistics, it is the perfectionists who are looking for ways to overcome shyness. They are inclined to bring everything up to the ideal, which they will not take. And the requirements are usually very high. This includes the desire to appear in the best light before others and be sure everyone will like it.
Everyone has different tastes, so everyone will love it - not destined. Do not worry about how you like one or another representative of the company, and whether they will accurately perceive a good person. Being yourself is what makes every conversation natural. And let people choose for themselves whether it suits them or not.
Shyness is considered a cute trait. But its owners often have to stay in the shadows. If this feeling has been inherent for a long time, then this does not mean that one cannot get rid of it. Using the above methods you can quickly become confident and improve the quality of your life.
