How to survive the betrayal of her husband: tips and help of psychologists

Treason is considered the most common reason for divorce. Loyalty to each other for many decades is not easy, and the very rationality of monogamy is put in doubt by many psychologists. However, the fact of betrayal on the part of the closest person makes women decide to part. Trying to find out how to survive the betrayal of a husband, women first need to think about the options for the future of their own family.

Rational ways to help forgive treason

Treason husband - a real tragedy, but this is not the worst thing that can happen to the representative of the weaker sex. Many families manage to go through this serious test, retaining love. What tips can help the lady cope with the existing problem?

It is necessary by any means to forget about what happened, not to discuss the subject of adultery, not to learn the details from the spouse.
It is necessary to abandon mutual accusations, trying to find the rational causes of the trouble.
Psychologists recommend in such situations to unwind, go on vacation or temporarily leave the house. This will help analyze family perspectives, make an informed, correct decision about the future.
After 5-10 days after the incident, it is necessary to discuss the situation with the husband, find out its causes and listen to the apologies of the second half.
Husband and wife need to spend as much time as possible together in order to understand what their feelings are for each other.

The first and most important thing in this situation is not to chop off the shoulder. The desire to escape from the problem, to part immediately to no good will not. Any impulsiveness in such a situation is unacceptable, since it will almost certainly lead to divorce.

Psychologists advise not to communicate with the second half of at least 3-4 days. During this time, the emotions will subside a bit, and therefore the spouses will be able to properly talk about the situation. Such a conversation should not be accusatory in nature, should not turn into screams and scandals. The task of the spouses is to peacefully and calmly discuss the future of their family.

Also, psychologists advise to devote as few outsiders as possible to the events that occurred between husband and wife. Advice from friends and relatives will only bring additional discord into the relationship. Often, even the closest people are not able to assess the situation fully, and therefore their balanced advice is not always rational. The question of betrayal is too serious, and therefore it is not recommended for the public to bring it to the court.

It is impossible to cope with a change in a couple of hours, and an unpleasant aftertaste usually bothers a woman for several months or even years. That is why, to get rid of disturbing thoughts, the lady is recommended to go on a trip. She can travel alone or with her spouse, the latter option being preferable. He will help the man and woman to believe in their love again, at least for a while, forgetting about the personal tragedy.

Causes of treason, their analysis and consequences

How to forgive the betrayal of her husband and live on, if the cause of the incident is not clear? Many ladies try to find out the answer to this question, not realizing that the reasons for the incident lie in front of them. The causes of adultery are rarely convoluted, in most cases depending on intra-family problems. Here are just a few of the reasons why men cheat on their chosen ones:

the desire to increase their own self-esteem by seducing more and more new women;
boredom in the sexual life of the family or the complete absence of sex;
frequent employment of spouses, interfering with the normal course of marriage;
the absence or extinction of love feelings;
midlife crisis; men;
the origin of feelings in relation to the new passion.

Trying to forgive a spouse for treason, a woman should not discount her own guilt. Psychologists do not get tired of repeating that two are always to blame for the breakdown of families. A man can go to adultery because of the constant employment of the second half, due to the monotony of sexual affection or their complete absence. Sometimes the reasons turn out to be absurd at all: jealous of a spouse for his own children, not receiving enough attention from her, the man begins to look to the left.

Much more dangerous are the situations where men decide to commit adultery because of the desire to assert themselves. In such situations, everything is limited to apologies, and the sad precedents of infidelity are becoming more and more noticeable every day. The presence of feelings in relation to the casualty should also cause concern to the legitimate spouse: it is very difficult to fight heart desires, and most likely, the man will risk renewing his connection.

Psychologists are always advised to talk with your spouse about your sex life, to find out whether or not he has complaints. Moreover, such a dialogue should be frank, but not offensive. If a man does not have enough sex, if he is deprived of attention or dissatisfied with the physical condition of his wife, it will be very difficult to avoid adultery. So is it not better to discuss the current situation immediately, to try to solve the problem in the bud, so that in the future you will not face its terrifying consequences?

Help a psychologist, and when it is worth resorting to

Self-resolution of family conflicts is not possible for all couples, but constant quarrels should not be a reason for divorce. If the couple can not resolve the situation with cheating on their own, it is recommended to contact a family psychologist. Most often in such cases, professionals use the following measures for operational assistance:

conversation, both separately with spouses, and together with them;
group therapy with other couples experiencing a difficult stage in the relationship;
projection into the future, when the psychologist tries to show what the life of patients will be without each other;
analysis of mutual claims expressed on paper.

Most often, family psychologists listen, not speak. They do not always give advice, but they direct the conversation between husband and wife in the right direction, helping them to get rid of mutual claims. The main task of a psychologist is to get to the bottom of the true cause of betrayal. Why did a man decide to take this step? Is his partner guilty of this, or a fact affecting the family from the outside? Thanks to the methods of written and oral questioning, the specialist manages to find out.

Contact a psychologist is not recommended immediately. To begin with, a man and a woman need to discuss the situation in private, try to find a way out without destroying the family. If the conflict does not subside over time, and only grows, the help of a specialist can be indispensable.

However, there is no need to wait for an instant result: often couples need several months of individual and group therapy in order to gain past spiritual balance.

Cases in which you can not forgive betrayal

Forgive betrayal and start a relationship with a clean slate is possible, but this should not always be done. There are cases when forgiveness does not turn out good, but only additional misfortunes. In some cases, forgive treason will be problematic, even with a strong desire?

If the hikes to the left are regularly repeated, despite the apologies of the man.
If the husband has a family on the side from which he is not going to refuse.
If the feelings between a man and a woman are long gone, but only a habit keeps them close.
You should not fight for a relationship if, in addition to adultery, a man abuses alcohol or assault.

Not all relationships are worthy to fight for them. Often pride prevents a woman from being forgiven, but it is not always necessary to step over her. There are not rare cases when a man decides on repeated treason, constantly changing his soul mate. In such situations, psychologists recommend changing your life, parting with an ungrateful lover.

Treason becomes a real challenge for men and women. Despite the fact that the pride of the ladies in such a situation suffers greatly, to save the relationship is possible. To do this, it is enough to analyze your future without the second half, without a strong family and marriage. Many psychologists even believe that such shocks strengthen the bond between spouses, but when forgiving the beloved again and again, you shouldn’t forget about cases when saving a marriage turns out to be only suffering.