When compared to a clown, this is rarely a compliment. Rather, the voice sounds condemnation, or even a mockery. Slava Polunin made clowning his life's work. He is not afraid of being ridiculous, but at the same time he has filled his life with a subtle philosophy of inner happiness. He knows how to be himself even in a bright cap and huge shoes. His secrets are not secrets at all. This is a story about the happiness of a fool, assembled from simple tips.
Slava Polunin - actor, clown, world-famous mime. In life, he is a bright, charming man. But from time to time he also has doubts about the correctness of his life. This is how Polunin talks about his method, which he himself called “put his feet in the water”:
Every 12 years I change my life. And when I decide what I want to do, I leave for a month in the village, to the river, to think about life in silence. I just sit on the beach and listen to myself. Thinking about who I am. Then I start everything from scratch and move on.
This is his personal way of understanding yourself. In order to understand how to become yourself you do not need to literally sit on the river bank. The river may well be imaginary. And for small daily joys it is not at all necessary to try on a red clown nose. There are some more recipes to understand. Choose your favorite.
What is being yourself
Being yourself is a person's ability to feel familiar, easy, without internal moral tension. Allow yourself to express yourself - the main task that a person sets to improve their self-esteem. Each has a type of behavior that determines its image in society.
If a person wants to meet the requirements of others - it limits its potential. The right to speak, to act, to be in a certain mood - all this comes from the soul. If a person abuses his behavior in order to achieve mercenary goals, then those around him tend to impose their opinion. Selfishness is inherent in both the individual and people associated with it.
Everyone chooses his own way by valuesthat formed in the process of maturation. On the path of self-realization is important motivation. That it is a strong core of a person, without which it is difficult to achieve a specific result. The framework of individuality determines the roles that a person occupies in society.
Many believe that to be one type of behavior should be extended to all areas of life. This is fundamentally wrong, because in a working environment we need to be benevolent towards our customers, and already among friends and family we can be real. Requirements have always existed to delimit human activities.
How to be and be yourself
Disable Internal Critic
We do not like being criticized. But selflessly we criticize our own appearance and abilities. But even worse, when we begin to criticize ourselves for something that has not yet committed. Instead of thinking about a solution to the problem, we spend all our energy on the “inner critic”:
"You will not be able to learn English, because you do not have this ability."
"You should not start blogging, such a smart dime a dozen."
"You idiot, you'll be late again, however, as always."
How to proceed? An internal critic often speaks in the voice of parents, teachers, educators. Get rid of him forever fail. Give him a name, and when he starts speaking again in an instructive voice, silence him. Let him watch his tongue.
Get ready, it will hurt now
Strange as it may sound, we often dance to someone else’s tune. And the desire to become oneself always goes against the interests of others, therefore it rarely finds a joyful response and support from the side.
How, the employee refuses to processing, because he wants to have time to the gym?
What does your date mean? Do you always walk my dog?
Acting on someone else's orders, we invest our energy in the lives of other people. Often very close. But to say a clear "no" you need to save up not one hundred, but a thousand percent (may mathematics forgive us) of internal energy. Play confidence will not work. Your opponent will immediately see through the slack and begin to squeeze until you give up.
How to proceed? First go through the test mentally. Scroll through the words, postures, gestures, build a dialogue so as to arrive at the desired result. If it doesn't work out the first time, try again.
Hall of Fame under the name "I - krasava"
Often we hear the advice: "write a list of problems ...". What for? Why do we need to concentrate on the unfinished, on failures and grieves. Why watch the news and drink validol? Why communicate with whiners and catch their pessimism?
If you make your own board of honor. You can kill two birds with one stone: start to be proud of yourself and paint your own life. Learn how to write all the good things in a diary. Not global, but fleeting: the smile of a child, a beautiful flower, the work done.
How to proceed? From time to time, write out the most significant actions on multi-colored stickers and decorate your honor name board with them. Such a simple technique will help to save joyful and beautiful in daily life.
Learn from the best - from children
Children are the best tutors. They rejoice in everything: snow, sun, bright wrapping, oblique house of plasticine. They smile 40 times more often than adults and give joy to everyone around.
What does an adult do? He begins to suppress his emotions, frowns more often than he smiles. And how else, because you can hear in response: what are you laughing at, like a fool. And you don't want to be a fool.
There is a parable on this point: No one has ever seen the Old Master sad. When the students asked him how he managed to enjoy life all the time, he replied: “Everything is simple. I wake up every day and ask myself what will I choose today: sadness or bliss?”
How to proceed? Watch children. Smile just like that.
Live at your own pace without regard to others
Paradox, but we often hear from women: I got married (had a baby) not because I wanted it, but because everyone around has already done so. The recognition of their own pace, their desires are called maturation. But even in adulthood, many actions are performed not according to an internal desire, but according to other people's speeds.
What, you are already 35, and you are not yet a commercial director?
The publications are full of stories about how people in 50-60-70 years, sit at their desks, learn a new profession and achieve world fame. Sometimes in those areas of life that are not even thought about. They manage to become themselves for their own happiness.
The pace of life is sewn into the genetic code. Distinguish not just different people, different cultures. For example, America, Italy - these are mostly noisy extroverts. The Japanese are thoughtful introverts. To understand what pace of life you need not necessarily be Japanese or American.
How to proceed? Read about introverts and extroverts. Take your features to be yourself.
Do not be afraid to be known as a "complex" person
"Relax, be easier" - advisers love to teach, and patronize pats on the shoulder. Simple people easier to manage. It is easier to convince them to do what is beneficial to others.
And what is bad to be difficult? Difficult people do not complicate life without need. They do not always wear sophisticated clothes or endlessly talk about painting. Difficult people feel and react more volumetrically. They are like perfumes: there is "Lily of the Valley" and "Chanel No. 5." And the one and the other mass of fans. But they are different.
As Dr. House said: "I'm not sad, I'm complicated. But girls like it"
How to proceed? Allow yourself to be complicated. Just say out loud: "Allow."
This advice will help you to become yourself: understand yourself, agree, make friends. Occupation is not easy and often do not start work for one banal reason: for lack of motivation. So here.
There is no external motivation, otherwise it would have long been sold in bright packaging.
Serious adults believe in the magic of "magic kick". They go from training to training, waiting for the master-magician to finally say something that will help them to understand themselves better, to love, and, finally, to start living by their own rules. Unfortunately, external motivation does not exist. Otherwise, it would have been packed in a bright box, advertised and sold for a lot of money. And would buy. After all, they buy miracle drugs for weight loss without diets for 7 days.
Why do motivational trainings work? Because participants confuse the concepts of motivation and stimulation. The goal of the motivational trainer is to wake up the participants from hibernation. Hibernation is a state of low energy. When you do not want to do anything, but things are postponed. To do this, they even invented a special term - procrastination, which literally means “tomorrow”.
So, the coach creates such conditions when the participants simply have nowhere to go. They do the same thing they could have done on their own, but they were constantly postponed. They do, wonder, inspire, shout "I can" and run to create further.
This is where the problems with intrinsic motivation begin. If it is not there, life freezes at the moment when external stimulation stops. And a man who ran out from the hall with burning eyes in a couple of days, he is laid on the sofa and again begins to dream of a better life.
Conclusion. The search for intrinsic motivation is the first task. That which can make you get up from the sofa is the manifestation of the true "I". One answer to the question of how to be yourself does not exist. How many people - so many unique personalities, as many concepts about achieving happiness, the same number of recipes for inner motivation. Someone comes to himself through creativity, someone through meditation, and someone puts on bright shoes and begins to make others laugh. This can not be ready or not ready. Sooner or later it will happen. Need to try.
