Female alcoholism has its own specifics - it is more difficult to treat.
And female addiction develops faster. The situation is aggravated by the presence of children - they sometimes suffer as much as a mother who drinks.
We will tell you how to act, what to do to treat mom's bad habit.
Why does she do this?
Alcoholism - always comes with stress and turmoil in life.
People who can not rationally deal with problems begin to be applied to the bottle.
The main causes of female alcoholism:
- Upbringing. If a woman grew up in a family where drinking alcohol was the norm, the habit could migrate to adulthood. Children who see their parents (or one of them) drunk, take drunkenness as quite common and do not see this as negative.
- Difficult life situation. The death of a loved one, or injury to them, disability - can break even those who have an iron psyche.
If a person drank once with grief - there is nothing critical in this. Another thing, if this is followed by hard drinking.
Often the grief becomes the trigger, after which the person cannot stop and “drinks” the pain.
- Parting with the father. The reasons for leaving the Pope are many - irresponsibility, the appearance of a woman on the side, the inability to feed the family. A woman takes the care of a man extremely painfully and often this psychological trauma leads to alcoholism.
- Bad Company. The environment always affects the person, sometimes - unnoticeable to him. If a mother communicates with her drinking friends or men, at first she can consciously resist “supporting the company”. But a long stay among alcoholics will sooner or later play a role.
- Failures at work. The reason may be a reduction, dismissal. If the family is incomplete and the entire responsibility for earnings falls on the mother, her psyche is less resistant to such shocks.
It is important to understand the attitude of the mother to the bad habit.. If a person has washed down because of grief, then he is aware of the negative damage to health. Such a person is easier to pull out of the pit.
It is quite another thing - if a person does not see a problem in alcoholism and treats drunkenness calmly. Efforts in this situation will have to spend more.
We will tell you how to help the mother get out of the situation, depending on the age of the child.
Psychology of drinking mother
The peculiarity of female physiology - in more quickly getting used to alcohol.
Alcohol is also eliminated from the body longer than in men.
As a result, a woman is more likely to develop addiction and harder to get out of it.
Another important point - women are more emotional. Any stress, fluctuations in mood can be a reason to drink. Therefore, it is necessary to work on the problem longer than in the case of a man and in no case prevent a relapse.
Maternal instinct much stronger than his father. Therefore, the motivation to stop drinking for the sake of a child works perfectly.
A mother can come to her senses and take herself in hand, but only if the child actively helps her to get out - to talk about the problem, to involve adults in solving the situation.
How can you influence the situation?
Child help
Unfortunately, independently affect the cure of the mother, little baby can't.
Children are the most unprotected side of the situation, they suffer the most.
The fact is that before adolescence, a child cannot appeal to rational, conscious reasons.
The only opportunity available to him is to influence his mother emotionally. The baby is crying, trying to draw attention to herself, to distract her from drinking.
In childhood, the personality and future character is formed. Seeing the futility of trying, the child becomes self-containedShe tries to spend more time outside the home.
To correct the situation baby can not. The only thing is if the mother sees how he suffers and the maternal instinct overpowers the addiction to alcohol.
The best recommendation for a child is ask for help from adults: a psychologist at school, teachers, next of kin. Draw attention to the problem. Do not hush up or hide the information, otherwise alcoholism will only progress.
Teenager's actions
Teenager easier to influence the situation.
He better expresses thoughts, ideas, he is more sociable and can ask for help from adults.
Adolescent complexity in impulsiveness, mental instability.
At the age of 13-16, a person is in itself emotional, his mood can drastically turn into negative. General advice - Do not be offended by mom. Do not stray from her.
Even if she refuses to help, screams, shows aggression. Resentment will not give anything, and the delay in the case of alcoholism is extremely dangerous, it can reach the point of no return.
Specific recommendations for teens:
- Seek help from psychologists. They can be of great help. The more a person tries to solve a problem, the better.
Mom will see care, sincerity, compassion from loved ones and quickly get out of the situation.
- Deny access to alcohol. Do not allow yourself to manipulate. Dependence is very strong and a person finds prepositions with a whole list. No need to be persuaded, pleaded, threatened. The task is to isolate the mother from the new portions of alcohol.
- Not to drink. Under the influence of mom there is a risk to start drinking alcohol yourself. It’s categorically impossible to do this, because it’s not just not correcting the situation, there’s another addict in the family. You also need to sharply abandon the joint drinking, "for the company." Possible ways of help available to children and adolescents
The important point is not only active help to the mother, but also passive. In simple terms - do not create unnecessary problems. Do not freak out, do not show aggression.
Of course, if the problems are important, you can share them, but you shouldn’t be negative about your mother again.
Scandals, runaways from the house, fights only aggravate the situation and will become another reason to drink.
What can an adult son or daughter do for an alcoholic mother?
It is easiest for adults to influence. If you live together with a drinking mother, the following recommendations are effective:
- Denying access to alcohol. Do everything possible for this.
- Conduct a conversation (in order to get to the bottom of the cause of alcoholism). Toddlers and teenagers are less experienced in argumentation, persuasion, substantiation of logical arguments. As an adult, you need to talk to your mother more often, try to make out the specific reason that led to alcoholism. Along with abstaining from drinking, it works very well. For example, if the reason for leaving the father is to work with it, support the mother, try to help her establish a personal life (after she becomes better and the addiction subsides). If the problem is related to the loss of work - to find her a new one, to help with the preparation for the interview.
- Isolate mom from drinking buddies. Suitable for cases in which a person drinks because of a bad company.
Seriously talk to people who provoke her to drink. Do not let them go home, cut off physical contact with them.
- Dissociate mom from negativity. We are talking about people who criticize or accuse mother of the problem. This will worsen the healing process, strengthen the guilt complex. Critics, emotional vampires, whining and gossiping people - are cut off from communication in the first place.
- Provide regular emotional help. To talk on common topics, to support her in an effort to cope with addiction. The goal is to show that it is important to you, that you are ready to help regularly, go hand in hand. More often get out into the fresh air, in a cafe, cinema - to distract her from negative, pessimistic thoughts.
- Call a narcologist. And be sure to go to the reception with her. After realizing that you are dependent, naturally, shame ensues. And this can cause a relapse. Accompany the parent at each stage of treatment.
If you do not live with your mother. There is a problem - it will not be possible to observe the constant control over the situation. If conditions allow - temporarily move to it. That she was more often in sight.
If you are a family man - discuss the situation with his wife. You can shelter your mother at home, and then much more people will provide support to her. The main thing is to give instructions home - do not allow to drink and not to join.
Psychological advice and practical recommendations
What if mom drinks every day? If mother drinks alcohol daily, then the problem is already serious. The first step is to figure out the cause.
If she realizes the problem, then it’s about psychological problems, trauma, grief. In this case, you need to work with the very reason - talk heart to heart, a trip to the psychologist.
If mom doesn't see anything wrong with drinking - therefore, the impact of the company. It's easier to act here. Break her contact with her drinking buddies. When a person considers drinking as a “way to relax,” have fun, he definitely does not drink alone.
And because the most effective method - as much as possible to protect mum from the bad company.
Gradually, it will cease to use, because the problem is in group psychology - such people do not want to drink alone.
How to make mom not drink? In addition to the methods described above, it is extremely important to fix the result. When the first improvements are visible, there is a risk to start drinking again.
Therefore, you can not relax. Within six months, you need to closely monitor the circle of communication of the mother, to observe her psychological state, as much as possible to maintain and be responsive.
Alcoholism is cured, and the emotional atmosphere around the person is extremely important. The most important thing - provide mom with psychological support as many close people as possible.
Prepare for a meeting with experts, narcologists. And expect a long, painstaking path of treatment.
How to help a loved one stop drinking? Psychotherapist response:
