Unfortunately, almost every person at least once in his life with someone broke up. Whatever the reason for the break, not everyone can do it right. And what does it mean to part correctly? Of course, this means maintaining respect for each other.
Parting without quarrels and scandals will be more adequate and not as painful as a break with tears and tantrums. So, how to part with your loved one, so as not to inflict heart wounds to him and yourself?
Realize for yourself why you want to break up
Vague desire to break off relations is not a reason for parting. If you are ready to break, you must clearly understand why you are doing this.
Take time to answer the following questions:
- What prevents our relationship?
- Why am I not happy with this person?
- What in my partner does not suit me?
- Do I want to be with this person all my life?
There may be several reasons, but they should all be sufficiently weighty. You must understand that parting is not a game that you can then replay or change the rules in it. When deciding whether to break off relations, you should understand why you want this so that you do not regret it.
Make a firm, informed decision.
The most difficult task is to establish yourself in the final decision to part. It is often very difficult to do this due to the fact that a relationship with a loved one is a mass of emotions, memories, feelings and experiences that cannot be erased at once and removed from memory.
Of course, despite the reason for your desire to break up, inside you have kept warm memories of a person, which may cause you to doubt the correctness of your decision.
In order to part with your loved one, be sure to be completely confident in your decision. If there are doubts, it is better to postpone such a conversation for later and sort out your feelings.
Think about the way of parting
The way you will part with your loved one will be a reflection of your past relationships. In addition, the temperament of your partner plays an important role here: imagine how he will react to this unpleasant news.
- If your partner is a calm, adequate person, then the best option would be to talk in private, during which you will dot the i. It will be correct and respectful towards your loved one.
- If your partner is prone to aggression, a person who does not know how to control his emotions, then it is better to meet him in a public place or in general - write a letter explaining your feelings and thoughts. So you can protect yourself from possible aggression to your side.
In no case do not part with people on the phone or via SMS message: it is disrespectful towards not only the partner, but also to himself. Have the courage to take responsibility for making decisions and making them happen.
Speak sincerely without anger
In order to part in a normal relationship, you must keep yourself in hand during the explanation. Watch your tone: it should be as smooth as possible, confident, not cold, but not too warm.
Do not start your conversation with accusations and reproaches. Try to tell the most sincerely about what does not suit you in a relationship, and why you want to stop them. Negative in your words will surely provoke a response from the partner, so try not to boil, so as not to turn your conversation into a scandal.
If for some reason you do not want to voice the real reason, find a significant replacement for it, to which there will be no questions you cannot answer.
Do not give false hope for renewal of relations
Some people, not wanting to hurt their loved one, embellish their present state. Giving hope that things can change. This good intention, it would seem, should alleviate the pain of separation, however, it only prolongs the suffering of the partner. It is better to break the relationship once and for all, than to cut a piece every time you meet. If you really want to leave, you should not give a chance to resume the relationship - this will not lead to anything good. As they say, you will not enter the same water twice.
Do not chop off
If you want to minimize the effect of a bombshell, you should not carry out the separation suddenly. Try to minimize your communication first so that the person begins to guess that you have changed your attitude. But this, too, can not be delayed: the longer you do not dare to speak outright, the more pain you bring to a person.
Thank the partner for the happy moments.
To finish on a positive note, be sure to tell your partner thanks for those moments that will always live in your heart, for the moments of happiness that he gave you. This will help alleviate the bitterness and resentment that could be caused by your words.
Offer to stay friends
If this is acceptable to you, invite your partner to continue the friendship. This between former lovers is quite rare, because not everyone can forgive past grievances.
However, if you part by mutual consent, why not continue to communicate in a friendly way, especially if you have common children, interests or social circle.
Take time to free up
Any relationship, no matter how terrible, ending, forms a feeling of emptiness. In order not to suffer from a sense of loss and not worry about what happened, do not miss the partner., Take your time with something new and useful:
- sign up for courses;
- Learn to knit, draw or drive a car;
- spend more time with friends;
- plunge into work;
- go on a trip.
Whatever the reaction of your partner, stay with your opinion. Do not give in to provocations and do not regret a person, stand on your own. No one promised it would be easy. But since you made this decision, try to behave with dignity.
