“Nobody loves me,” - this phrase can be safely called one of the champions in the number of spoken times. She is abused by adolescents who have difficulty with socialization and require attention. But not infrequently, adults in despair declare that nobody loves them. If such thoughts are characteristic of puberty, then a mature person should think about where they came from in his head and how it is worth fighting.
I do not like myself ...
One of the reasons for the prevalence of thoughts of dislike for others is lack of attention. A person wants to feel important, necessary, loved. He lacks the manifestations of feelings from the environment, he wants more. A girl, for example, can declare “you don't love me” to a guy who regularly meets her from work, indulges in delicious dinners, does not stint on pleasant words. The young man wonders - what is he doing wrong? And his lover wants to receive flowers and celebrate holidays, which the boyfriend constantly forgets. The girl identified signs of love for herself, which is why she hurriedly throws this offensive phrase. She really can not notice other important things, testifying to the warm feelings of the chosen one, and remain confident that something is missing in the relationship.
Another reason for a person’s confidence that they do not like him is unsuccessful attempts to gain attention from others. Some have been trying to establish contact with someone for years, but for various reasons it does not work. In the end, it seems that the world is hostile, and it’s impossible to earn someone’s love. Such thoughts do not correspond to reality, but in difficult periods of life it is impossible to realize this.
Another option - the man is really lonely. He practically does not maintain ties with relatives, childhood friends; his social circle is limited to his work colleagues and several acquaintances in social networks. Such people are much harder to make friends with someone; they almost got used to loneliness. But they love singles too - for example, the same relatives, colleagues and acquaintances. The problem is that they rarely express their feelings, and a person does not even suspect about sympathy for himself.
There are several ways to deal with such thoughts. Some of them are quite simple, for the implementation of others will have to work hard. But the result is worth it - you can be proud of the disappearance of the phrase "no one loves me" from the lexicon and the head.
I want to be loved
Put yourself in the place of loved ones
It is worth thinking that others feel when they hear the phrase "no one loves me." What feelings do those who truly love this person have? Most likely, this is bewilderment and insult. People, showing sincere care, do not understand why a loved one admits thoughts of self-dislike.
Fighting selfishness is a panacea for many problems. In almost any incomprehensible situation, it is desirable to try to put yourself in the shoes of others. It helps to understand others, and sometimes radically changes thoughts and behavior.
Exclude the substitution of concepts
Above we have already talked about the fact that one of the causes of decadent moods is the rejection of others. Despair encompasses a person if those who are important to him do not reciprocate. From this a logical inconsistency is obtained, which is taken for granted by him - people who I love do not like me, therefore no one loves me. Such thoughts make it difficult to sensibly assess the attitude of others towards themselves.
Rarely who gets to confess - in fact love me, I just need attention from other people. Unrequited love, unsuccessful attempts to join an interesting company, collapsed romantic relationships - such reasons push a person to the idea that he is not loved, nobody needs him. In practice, more often it is not.
Learn to appreciate those around
This item is in some way a continuation of the previous ones. A person sometimes rejects loved ones, ignores them, trying to attract the attention of those who are indifferent. But why push away those who are always ready to support?
Growing up, many realize that in difficult times they were helped by those annoying childhood friends and seemingly tyrannous parents, and not the cool guys with whom they sometimes met in the courtyard. This is accompanied by a feeling of shame due to the fact that important things and people were not appreciated. It is time to notice the care of loved ones and thank them. They really deserve it.
Do not be afraid to declare yourself and find out closer to other people.
This advice is suitable for singles who really lack communication. It is difficult for such people to go out and make new acquaintances. At the same time, they are overcome by the thoughts "I want to be loved," "I want to interest the rest." However, it is unlikely that people will understand what kind of person is creative, interesting, cheerful, and further down the list if he gets into a corner and will be silent all evening, glancing at others around him.
In order to establish a common language with others, one must at least talk to them, not to be closed, to make contact. It is also important to stick to the golden mean - speaking about yourself, not to go too far, the third hour talking about the best qualities. Such self-promotion is likely to alienate, because people want not only to listen, but also to be heard. It is necessary to be interested in the person of the interlocutor, asking not formally polite questions, but what you really want to know.
Ask yourself the question "do I love someone" and honestly answer it
Because of selfishness, people forget the feelings of others. Everybody wants to be loved, but many simply do not want to love in return, or do not want to. Feeling necessary, close, important - this is fine, but do not forget about the impact. Relationships should not be one-sided, otherwise they turn into receiving benefits from another person.
It is more often to ask the questions "am I ready to do something important for loved ones," "often do I talk about my feelings," "can I make someone happier." If the answers are negative, it is a sign that time changes. People find it difficult to fall in love with a selfish, selfish person who requires constant attention to his important person. If you put yourself in the shoes of others, then it will become easier to get an answer to the question “why people treat me like this”.
If the reader carefully considers the advice, he will notice that most of them speak of accepting the feelings of others. People who say "nobody loves me" often show their egoism with this, although they do not want to admit it. It is important to drop it, stop specifically attracting attention to yourself, appreciate what already exists. No one has yet been able to fully recover from egoism, but to become more empathic - completely. When a person is happy with what he has, the thought that no one likes him is not going to hold his head - there will simply be no reason for their occurrence.
