Unrequited love is a very interesting concept, one can talk about for a long time. She is the cause of sleepless nights, wet from tears pillows, resentment to the whole world. But if you figure out how this can happen? Love is in its essence - a bright feeling, thanks to her it seems that you can change the world, you start to see only good things in people, you learn to forgive. This feeling of creation, care, tenderness, warmth.
When it comes to unrequited love, it means more love. There is a common situation when we, having met a person, independently invent his image, endowing with features that are not peculiar to him, we imagine how wonderful the relations could be - and as a result we successfully fall in love with what we imagined. It is important to learn to share the reality and the result of the imagination, then the probability of unrequited love is significantly reduced.
The reasons
Unrequited love is a state through which any person has ever passed. As a rule, this occurs during adolescence and is an important stage in the development of a personality.
It is more difficult when unrequited love comes to an adult, and if this situation repeats regularly, then this may indicate certain psychological problems, and the help of a specialist is needed here.
It often happens that women initially choose an inaccessible man - married and happy in family life, or one who, for certain reasons, absolutely cannot be close to them. The solution to this situation may be hidden in childhood, when parents “disliked” their child, treating him too demandingly and critically, cursing him for pranks and offenses.
From there came the idea that dislike is normal, and you cannot demand another from a partner.
The same applies to the situation when the family had a similar model of relations between parents. For example, the father did not show any feelings for the mother. That's all the prerequisites for such a child, when he grows up, there is an unrequited love ...
There are situations when unrequited love is to some extent a conscious choice. When a woman (a man - much less often) does not need a full-fledged relationship. She needs emotions, emotional experiences, but not a partner for life. This situation also requires the advice of a psychologist.
For example, if a man or woman already has a family, but the relationship does not bring satisfaction, love has died away, and moral principles do not allow a divorce or start other relationships, then thanks to unrequited love, there is an opportunity to experience a wide range of emotions, though not very positive ones.
The reverse situation is also possible: when a person is doing well in all spheres of life, he subconsciously begins to create conditions under which there is an opportunity to suffer and complain. Such moments create an emotional contrast, and experiences later make the feeling of happiness more vivid. The approach, in which it seems that absolutely everything cannot be well, is incorrect. A man must allow himself to be happy. Therefore, it is better to look for other reasons for the manifestation of emotions, for example, to make a sea cruise.
How to behave?
First, the object of love can not even guess about your feelings. Try to hint about your sympathy: you do not need to write love letters, but a smile or a proposal to help in some important matter may well contribute to the development of relationships.
Secondly, it is necessary to try to at least a little more rational approach to the choice of a partner. If you want harmonious relationships and reciprocal feelings, then you should cultivate love in yourself at least after you make sure that the sympathy is mutual.
You can not force a person to love, but you should not torment yourself, either. Around a great many free girls and young people who are looking for a mate.
Advantages of this situation
In unrequited love has its advantages. Love opens up tremendous opportunities for a person, a surge of vitality appears. Take advantage of this and direct your feeling in the right direction. This is a great moment to change yourself. You can enroll in a gym and put your body in shape, devote time to self-education - reading fiction and professional literature will distract from sad thoughts; get creative or go to courses that you have long dreamed of.
All this will lead to the fact that communication with you will become even more interesting for others. It is possible that the object of your unrequited love will change its mind and turn its gaze on you. Although it is more likely that, being distracted by other exciting activities, you look at it differently, and after a realistic assessment of the situation, you realize that the experiences were in vain.
And, of course, we should not forget that there is a person who loves you and never betrays, no matter what - you yourself. Show respect and care for yourself, waste time and energy on yourself, and then happiness will become your constant companion.
