This is the second part of the article in which I describe what meditation gave me, what positive qualities of a person I gained through this practice. In the first part of the article, I wrote that the practice helped me to control my emotions, to realize the limits of the real self, and to overestimate my life values. In this part, I plan to further develop the theme of my personal metamorphosis.
At the end of the article I will write about the dangers that may lie in wait for you on the path of rapid personality changes.
As I was convinced from the comments to the first part of the article, this topic is interesting to someone, and therefore I continue.
The effect of meditation was expressed in the most unexpected things that I did not even suspect when I first began to meditate. In the beginning, I really did not know what to expect from the practice. It seems like I guessed that meditation would endow me with calmness and calmness, those qualities that I really needed. I thought about it, because in popular culture meditation is associated with yogic calmness.
I had the most vague idea about the other effects of meditation. I understood that she was giving something, but that’s what and why, I had no idea. Therefore, when changes began to occur to me, it became a very pleasant surprise for me. I began to discover in myself the beginnings of the formation of very useful qualities, I began to realize that I was slowly but surely moving from suffering to happiness and freedom. It was an amazing discovery! In more detail about these qualities I will tell further. I will continue to talk about personal changes within the framework of the previous structure: each change of personality will be discussed under the appropriate heading.
Meditation strengthened the connection of consciousness with the body.
Speaking about the strength of the connection of consciousness with the body, I mean the body's ability to convey information about what it needs for normal work to the brain. This may not be entirely clear, and I, of course, immediately turn to a personal example illustrating this principle.
Before I began to practice meditation, I could practically methodically kill my own organism with impunity. I could get drunk until I lost my mind, smoked a pack of cigarettes for the evening, sat all day in front of the computer and did not hear the voice of my body, which would insistently tell me that the body is breaking down, that alcohol and nicotine are not at all what he needs.
Of course, there are very few people who do not understand that cigarettes and a sedentary lifestyle are harmful to health. Almost everyone knows about it. But this knowledge becomes completely irrelevant alongside the prospect of instant pleasure.
Each new hangover syndrome reminded me of how much I harmed my body. But despite this, I calmly endured (or did not tolerate and hung over) and lived to the next booze.
When some time had passed from the moment of practicing the practice, I began to notice that the voice of the body had become more insistent than before. Every time I got drunk, a voice inside me yelled, “what are you doing? why? ”And the next morning, waking up in hangover, I asked myself:“ why did you do this? was it really worth it? Now the whole day is lost! for what?"
When I smoked, the voice did not fall silent: “why do you smoke? what is the use of it? it's horrible! it is poison! ”One might think that an internal mentor appeared in me, who followed me and did not let me quietly indulge in the same pleasures. But it is not so. This “voice” of awareness and intuition directed me, and not only punished. He said that I need to do to feel good, to get out of the suffering that nestled inside of me.
If, for example, I went for a walk instead of drunkenness and walked for a long time, I said to myself: “You see how you feel well after the walk. Well done! Now you do everything right! Keep up the good work! ”
Speaking of "voice", I mean just an intuition that guided my actions. It was not always some kind of internal dialogue, it could be a feeling of satisfaction after a jog in the fresh air or a pronounced state of displeasure and an ineptly spent time after drinking.
I began to clearly understand what I needed to do to feel better, not to feel the blues, to be more energetic and healthy. My body informed me of this with great persistence. “Go in for sports! More walk! Drink less! Don't smoke! ”It said to me.
I began to feel more acutely how much damage my lifestyle brings to my body, but, at the same time, I also became more aware of the benefits of changing this lifestyle. Thanks to the “voice” of intuition and this new understanding, I quit smoking, began to drink less often (later quit completely), bought cross-country skis and began to ride them, began to run, run less in front of the computer, relax more and relax, etc.
I can not say that this happened thanks only to the “voice” of the intuition. Freedom from bad habits is preceded by a whole range of personal changes, one “voice” of awareness is not enough. But, nevertheless, actions based on the insistent demands of my body, served as a very strong impetus for changing my lifestyle.
There was a desire for self-development
The “voice” of the intuition spoke not only about the development of the body, but also about the development of the mind. I had a desire to move somewhere, to develop my own skills. My inner voice told me that it would be better if I watched high-quality, smart films, and not fascinating Hollywood consumer goods. It will be better if I learn to play chess, as this will develop my logical abilities and memory. It would be better if I read more good, informative literature.
I wanted to develop. Just as I lost the opportunity with a light heart to consistently kill my body, I could no longer aimlessly and stupidly spend time on all sorts of silly amusements. I felt a great dissatisfaction if I wasted time, as before. It seemed to me that I had lost something, missed something important.
Time can be spent on developing yourself, your skills, improving your life. Why kill him aimlessly? How could I spend so many minutes of my life on any nonsense before that?
Again, I cannot remember the moment when this awareness came to me. As I wrote in the last part, most likely, there was no “moment”. This awareness accumulated gradually. It was preceded by intuition, almost instinctive, unconscious actions. I did something and with some sort of sixth sense I understood that it was right. Only later, when the bouts of depression disappeared, I became more self-confident, and the people around me treated me better, and my life was rapidly changing for the better, I already realized that I really did everything right.
Only after this, my actions aimed at self-development were formed into some words, into ready-made principles, which I share on this site. I realized that I had learned from my own experience about many things that helped me to become better and, most likely, help others. I got rid of a lot of prejudices, false ideas that limited me, killed my potential. At the same time, I saw how many people suffer and do not understand some things that have become obvious to me and helped me change for the better. I was convinced that I could be of benefit to those people who want to develop and get rid of the same problems that I had.
So the idea of creating this site was born.
If before a man seemed to me to be somehow a complete, almost perfect creation, with a set of qualities established from birth, now I saw the whole untapped potential of people. I realized that a person can become what he wants. A person is almost a clean board, records on which are applied during his life. A person is a free will that can be embodied in positive metamorphoses, the development of personal qualities and spiritual growth.
I stopped believing in talent, in a gift, in a certain mindset, psycho, innate type of character, as I believed in these things before. I became a supporter of the opinion that the majority of human qualities are formed during life, and that the person himself is responsible for the formation of personality, and not the external environment or upbringing. We are given the ability to self-improvement, we bear full responsibility for ourselves, for who we are. And it is impossible to transfer this responsibility to external circumstances, to education or to the circle of our communication.
After all, if we try to relieve ourselves of this responsibility, then we reject our freedom to change for the better, deny free will and make ourselves dependent on fate.
This belief has grown out of my personal experience of change. I was able to change decisively, to work on the development of those qualities that, as it seemed to me before, were absent from me by nature.
And everything that I managed to write on this site is not the subject of mental speculation, but clear and obvious things for me that have appeared from my own experience.
Now I understand perfectly that I still have a lot to learn. And I continue to learn and grow. And this process can not always go without errors and blunders ...
I realized that there is always something that can be learned from other people.
I began to notice the strengths that are present about the people around me, but they are missing from me. And I began to try to adopt the positive qualities that I met from people, but at the same time, I avoided their shortcomings. I began to ask myself: “Why are these people better than me in this? What did they do to develop some qualities? ”When I found the answer to these questions, it helped me to inherit the strengths of those around me.
Someone else's experience was pushing me to change, saying that they are possible. For example, I looked at my friend who showed no signs of irritation in that situation that annoyed me. I thought: “Well, after all, he can be calm, so it’s about me, in my irritation. And since my friend remains calm, then I can and I, if I work on myself. "
I tried to adopt strong qualities, not only real people, but also fictional characters. When I read the description of Count Vronsky in the novel Anna Karenina, my attention was immediately attracted by the way Tolstoy talks about some of the habits of Vronsky. The count did everything smoothly, measuredly, never in a hurry, even if time was running out. He was always assembled and organized.
When I read this, I thought: “right! That's right! You can never be in a hurry! ”And from that moment I began to take care not to hurry, since I had a tendency to hurry and fuss. I tried to get rid of the rush.
It cannot be said that Vronsky was a very positive character. I did not like much in this hero of the novel. But I tried to take only good things from people, fictional or real.
I became more tolerant towards people
I began to get rid of the pronounced critical attitude towards people, which I had observed before. I have never before noticed the "logs" in my own eye, but I always expressed my full readiness to criticize and mentally scold those around them for their shortcomings and failures.
I was ready to be offended and angry at people if something was not for me. I never noticed my own fault, my own problems, and poured everything on others.
But meditation helped me to arm myself, on the one hand, with a deeper understanding of other people and an awareness of my imperfection - on the other. This imperfection began to be laid bare before me so much that I felt a flood of intense shame for myself, for my behavior. I discovered such shortcomings, the presence of which I did not even suspect.
I started meditating to get rid of depression, but I didn’t expect the practice to bring so much new knowledge about myself!
Meditation seemed to take off the veil of illusion that covered it, and I saw everything as it is, including myself. And I would not say that this new vision of oneself was as perfect as before. I didn’t like much, I even felt remorse and shame. I realized how often I did wrong and unreasonable, and I wanted to change and correct.
When I saw this frightening picture, I became much more tolerant of people with their weaknesses and weaknesses. In spite of the fact that I did not always succeed in maintaining such a tolerant attitude, I tried to see in others a good one, to eliminate attacks of anger, envy and gloating towards others. I began to rebuild my negative attitude towards other people.
I felt that I had more love, empathy and empathy. Many people have ceased to seem "bad." As a result of this, over the past few years I have revived relations with those with whom I did not communicate in view of disagreements and misunderstandings. I wanted to help and support others. It was as if other people's victories and joys became my victories and joy, and the grief of others was partly mine.
I began to listen to what others are saying, and not just to broadcast my opinion to others, without listening to anyone, as it was before. I was convinced that others also have something to say, that the alien brain stores a lot of valuable information that it can share. I realized the whole power of collective thinking, which forms many different personalities, each of which is somewhat limited, but on the whole they complement and enrich each other.
I realized that I exist not only with my thoughts and problems, but there is a rich world of other people, which I had not noticed before. My fears and zamorochki are not as important as it seemed to me before.
I cannot say that this understanding is very easy to maintain in myself. It cannot be said that it is worth once to understand this, and then you will always act in accordance with this understanding. I have to constantly remind myself of this, when egoism provokes me angry and offended, when this makes the understanding of others disappear and the mind is busy only to convince everyone that they are right and find a way to blame everyone and make themselves good.
I support many of my principles in myself due to constant struggle with my Ego, with my weaknesses, with my fears ... Self-perfection is born in the struggle with oneself, in which you will have to win and lose more than once in order for these principles to take root within your spirit. This struggle is work on oneself.
Love, goodness, compassion have become my values.
Goodness has ceased to be a fiction for me, a product of moral relativity. I began to strive to become better and help others. Despite the fact that I have always been critical of religion, all the wisdom accumulated within world religions has been revealed to me.
I was convinced that compassion, love of neighbor, caring for people are not empty words. These things are truly human virtues that lead to happiness and liberation. And greed, vanity, anger - these are the vices that lead only to suffering.
I did not practice religion, but came to the values that they themselves preach. This coincidence indicated to me that I, most likely, are on the right path and go where I need to, since my experience and the result of spiritual searches coincides with the experience accumulated by humanity inside the development of religion.
World religions contain wisdom for themselves that can help an individual to achieve harmony, happiness and freedom. And even if we remove the concept of the existence of God, the afterlife, the soul, then this wisdom will remain. Religion can be considered in a certain way as a recipe for earthly happiness, and not afterlife pleasure.
Perhaps some of the great prophets of the past preached this, but human society, inclined to submit itself to the heavenly will, to invent gods that punish and encourage us, distorted the meaning of the original teachings. Who knows…
Improved health
This is quite an important aspect of the influence of meditation on my life. Thanks to meditation, a healthy lifestyle, sports, I had more energy, I began to sleep better, I was less nervous. My mood is almost always good, and my emotions are more stable than before. The head is clearer, the mind works better. It became easier to achieve concentration. I learned to relax without alcohol or cigarettes.
Strengthened willpower. As I wrote in an article about willpower, scientists found that meditation increases the concentration of gray matter in the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for long-term planning and willpower.
Depression, panic attacks, sleep problems, hyperactivity and attention deficit disappeared. I completely got rid of bad habits, including the habit of drinking coffee.
Managed to work on the elimination of the shortcomings of the individual
This was already mentioned in other paragraphs, but I’ll dwell here. As I already wrote, I began to realize that I did not have to be embittered, shy, cowardly, envious and unsure of myself. Во-первых, сначала я увидел, что у меня есть много недостатков, предрассудков, «багов» мышления, которых я раньше не замечал. Раньше я даже об этом не думал, а если и задумывался, то сводил эти качества к неизменным и врожденным чертам личности, с которыми нельзя ничего сделать.
Во-вторых, я перестал отождествлять себя со своими пороками. Я убедился в том, что злоба или зависть - это не часть моей истинной личности. Я начал воспринимать это как что-то внешнее по отношению к моему я. Стало понятно, почему многие люди, которые боролись со своими пороками описывали эту борьбу как сопротивление неким демонам.
Если перестать воспринимать пороки как часть тебя самого, то они представляются чем-то чужеродным, внешним, при этом чем-то таким, что по-прежнему может иметь власть над твоей личностью. Поэтому люди, мыслящие в рамках мистических, религиозных традиций и представляли эти пороки как демонов или голос дьявола внутри.
В-третьих, я убедился в том, что раз эти недостатки не являются частью моего истинного я, то я от них могу избавиться, как от лишней шелухи. Мне хотелось от них избавиться потому что они мне мешали, отравляли мою жизнь и заставляли страдать.
Избавление от страдания, обретение счастья и гармонии - главные цели саморазвития, на мой взгляд. Все остальное: развитие силы воли, избавление от пороков, укрепление тела, борьба с депрессией и душевной хандрой - только инструменты, которые стоят на службе у этих целей.
Моей целью не было стать лучше чем другие или развиваться ради самой идеи саморазвития. Этот сайт появился благодаря тому, что мне надоело страдать и быть марионеткой своих желаний и инстинктов. Я двигался прочь от страдания, сперва наощупь, интуитивно, а, затем осознанно и целенаправленно.
Опасности саморазвития
Спонтанные и резкие изменения личности могут спровоцировать кое-какие проблемы. Не всегда получается к этим изменениям приспособиться, иногда сознание не поспевает за этими изменениями. Я писал, что благодаря медитации я стал относиться терпимее к людям. Но это произошло не сразу.
Когда я начал медитировать, я увидел все свое несовершенство, все свои пороки, я настолько возненавидел эти недостатки в себе, что не мог терпеть их проявление в других людях. Когда я видел, что кто-то оправдывал свои слабости, как я делал это раньше сам, во мне поднималось раздражение. Мне было трудно сохранять спокойствие и нейтралитет, когда я видел прошлого себя в других. Я пытался осудить, критиковать, а не помогать.
Последствия такого своего поведения я исправляю до сих пор. Пожалуйста, не повторяйте моих ошибок. Помните, люди имеют право на слабости. И эти слабости есть у всех, даже у вас. Всегда старайтесь помочь, если можете, вместо того, чтобы кого-то осуждать или пытаться убедить в собственной правоте. Если человек не хочет принять вашу помощь, значит он пока не готов, оставьте это.
Conclusion
На этом и закончу эту статью. Конечно, медитация дала мне намного больше, чем я написал здесь. Я прошелся только по основным, самым очевидным пунктам. О чем-то я не написал, а что-то я пока сам не осознал, поэтому и не готов пока писать.
Можно сказать, что решение начать медитировать стало роковым в моей жизни, изменила ее, и определило мою судьбу. Кроме изменений личности, медитация поддерживает во мне каждый день хорошее настроение, спокойствие и помогает избавиться от страхов, сомнений и навязчивых мыслей. Она помогает мне расставлять приоритеты, приходить к правильным жизненным решениям, вспоминать что-то важное. Когда я не медитирую, я чувствую, что теряю какой-то центр внутри, точку притяжения, которая стабилизирует все мои мысли и эмоции, подобно тому как Луна своей гравитацией удерживает ось Земли в стабильном положении.
Медитация помогла мне лучше организовать собственное мышление, сделать его более подвижным и, в то же время, упорядоченным.
Надеюсь эта статья снимет перед вами какие-то вопросы касательно личностных изменений и влияния медитации на жизнь человека. Может быть она поможет кому-то органично приспособиться к происходящим внутри изменениям и утвердиться в мысли о том, что вы идете в правильном направлении.
В первую очередь, я хочу быть полезным, а уж потом интересным и увлекательным. Если этот текст явился лишним поводом для кого-то начать медитировать или продолжать практику, то я считаю миссию этого поста выполненной.
