How often after several months of a relationship a partner declares that he is madly in love with the other half and ready to spend my whole life?
Can a relationship lasting a few months be called true love?
Psychologists say that the true feeling of love comes only after years of living together and on the way to it. couple goes through several stages. What are the stages of love in a relationship?
Is it true that there are seven stages of real feeling?
According to psychologists, each couple goes through several stages of a relationship. on the way to a real and deep love feeling.
Each stage can take a different time interval, it depends on the depth of attachment to each other, on the similarity of character, temperaments and some other features of the relationship.
Psychologists have developed a certain pattern consisting of seven stages, which virtually every married couple goes through. Of course, under this pattern it is impossible to fit all, without exception, relationships, each partner everything flows individually.
For the relationship of some couples is characterized by cyclical: after passing through the three initial stages, the couple can return to the first stage, inflaming each other with new feelings and reviving a new round of love.
About the stages of development of love in psychology in this video:
Stages and their characteristics
There are 7 steps that couples overcome on the way to a real feeling of love. Every stage characterized by its features.
Love
Love at first sight and candy-bouquet period. The duration of the very first stage of love usually about a year or a year and a half.
At this time, the partners do not notice the shortcomings, they are blinded by a strong feeling of love, everything seems to them wonderful and beautiful in the character of a loved one.
The beloved appears in the most unreal world when no attention is paid to negative character traits.
Scientists who studied the first period of the relationship, gave him the name "chemistry of love." At this time, hormones, oxytocin and endorphin are actively produced, completely captivating the consciousness of lovers.
Actively produced substances inhibit rational thinking attempts and block the appearance of negative emotions. Man fully possessed euphoria in love.
Partners try to spend every free time together, communicate a lot, talk up, often confess their love. Their vocabulary is half composed of gentle and tender words addressed to a loved one.
Most often, this stage ends with the registration of marriage, since people “fly on the wings of love” and want to legitimize their relationship as soon as possible in order to designate their status for society.
What stages does a man in love go through? About this in the video:
Satiety
After the marriage and the beginning of marriage, the stage of satiety usually comes. Primary strong love begins to subside, hormones are no longer raging, and the brain resumes normal operation.
Each of the partners begins to pay more attention to other areas of their lives, wants to communicate with friends, to work closely.
In this period the first conflicts begin.
Often they are connected with the fact that one of the lovers has already moved to a new stage of love, while the second partner is still at the stage of falling in love.
He wants to spend a lot of time with his beloved and begins to be offended, not encountering more such impulses on his part. Conducting joint life turns love into something ordinary and familiar, a loved one is always there, so there is a satiety.
It is at this period that partners begin to discover each other’s shortcomings. This is not because the negative character traits were carefully hidden before, but because of the resumption of normal brain function, not burdened with the release of hormones and endorphin.
Most often, the satiation period takes a very short time and is invisible to the spouses themselves. Sometimes it can change places with the first stage of love, especially if during this period newborns appear in the newly-made family.
Disgust
The third stage begins present difficult test for relationshipsbecause a period of disgust comes into its own.
"Pink" perception of the partner is replaced real appreciation of his character.
It turns out that the beloved has many flaws that are beginning to irritate and infuriate.
Cute features no longer seem so funny and interesting, they are beginning to freak out. During this period, the virtues go by the wayside and become almost imperceptible.
Spouses must go through the stage of disgust to achieve the state of true love. Without this stage, the onset of true feeling is impossible.
The duration of the period of disgust in each family is individual, the lucky ones have unpleasant feelings for each other for only a few months, and in some of them drags on for years, sometimes giving way to the above steps of the relationship.
The period of disgust is richest in quarrels, scandals and conflicts. Every partner shows himself from the ugly side expressing a large number of claims and pointing to the weighty flaws of a loved one.
With the advent of each new day, it seems that the person with whom you share life is not the one who was needed. It is at this stage that many realize that they no longer want to go hand in hand through life, for this awareness follows divorce.
Many couples walk in a circle, constantly going through three stages and not moving further. For this reason, former spouses often come back together and even marry again, because they are attracted to each other.
How to overcome the stage of disgust in a relationship? Useful recommendations:
Humility
If the couple managed to overcome the universal disgust, there comes a more pleasant period - humility.
People living together understand that redoing another person is impossiblethat he is an accomplished person with his own set of advantages and disadvantages. They try to accept each other.
The apartment of the partners is now not similar to the battlefield, where fierce battles take place every day, but to the meeting room, where deliberate dialogues are heard most often and the word “compromise” is heard regularly.
It is at this stage that spouses begin to go to a psychologist, read smart books, trying to understand each other. Each partner understands that in order to create a harmonious union, first of all he must work on himself, and only then ask for a compromise change from his beloved.
People are beginning to change so that coexistence becomes more comfortable. It is believed that humility and patience peculiar to womenas more wise and flexible by nature.
Most often, it is the spouse who pushes the man to the stage of humility, showing by his example how to adapt to each other.
Respect
Behind the stage of humility comes respect, selfless service to a partner.
If earlier lovers did something pleasant for each other, expecting the same attitude in return, now good deeds are becoming disinterested.
People tend to give pleasure only because the second half is respected, because she is dear.
At this stage of movement towards true love, the soul itself is eager to make a pleasant partner. People really value each other and imbued with respect.
Spouses serve each other completely voluntarily, getting great pleasure from the fact that the second half is happy. Sometimes one of the partners already moves to the stage of respect, and the second one is delayed at the previous step.
By selfless deeds, the spouse who has crossed the new line is pushing the beloved to move to the stage of respect.
The first sign of nascent true love is the desire of sincere and selfless service to a partner.
friendship
Friendship replaces the stage of respect. Usually by this period the couple experienced many life difficulties, which were tackled shoulder to shoulder.
Partners know each other from the hair roots to the tips of the fingers, they know each other's character, habits and temperament.
They leave conflict situations without noisy clashes, it is enough for them to talk and everything will be resolved peacefully.
This stage can continue for years and decades when spouses gain peace of mind in a joint society.
Most often the friendship comes when the children grow up and the spouses have more time for joint activities and entertainment.
Finally, they can devote much more time to each other than before, when small children needed them every minute.
Love
Few reach the very last summit stage, which is called love. Many break down at the stage of disgust and cannot achieve true feelings. Couple on the step of love understands each other perfectlypartners breathe and live in unison.
A joint society gives them pleasure and peace. Spouses accept each other completely, with all the advantages and disadvantages.
No more naughty hormones, not annoying flaws, they smoothed out and outweighed by virtuesthat appear brighter.
If people have reached this stage, having overcome all difficulties, having stepped over the stage of disgust, they can with all boldness declare that they truly love each other.
How does love live? Brilliant psychological cartoon:
Through the eyes of psychologists
Initial ardent love actually still far from true love. In our society, the concepts of “love” and “love” are often confused.
Far from all couples reach true love, someone lacks the patience and strength to overcome all obstacles that appear on the way. Many get stuck at the stages of disgust, unable to reach humility and calm passions.
Such couples most often fall apart. This can happen forever, but in some cases the partners converge again, returning the first stage of love.
They again begin to go through all the stages, again reaching the disgust that leads to a new parting, or it is successfully overcome a second time.
Maintaining relationships at a decent level very hard workwhich is not available to everyone.
On the way to true love there are a large number of obstacles that must be overcome in order to find peace and quiet in the family.
All happy couples once went through the stages of satiety and disgust to To grow huge love from a seed to each other.
Is it true that love lives for 3 years? Find out from the video:
