Even in the most loving couples there are quarrels, conflicts, misunderstandings. Sometimes an unfavorable period can take a long time, even for years. In such cases, it seems that the relationship has become obsolete. But do not make hasty conclusions. It was not always so bad, something has tied you all this time. It is necessary to stop and think: what is it - the end or just a crisis in the relationship?
Why did the turning point come?
Usually, attempts to clarify the causes of misunderstanding on the part of partners end in clarifying the relationship and only lead to another scandal. So what to do? Keep your thoughts to yourself? No and no again! So you even further away from your partner.
Any relationship is a permanent job. It is necessary to independently understand what reasons led to such a course of events, and then discuss it with a partner in a calm atmosphere and together find ways to solve the problem.
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Unwarranted expectations. Relationship crisis for this reason most often occurs in young families.
Unwarranted expectations. Relationship crisis for this reason most often occurs in young families.The premarital period of courtship ends, followed by ordinary everyday life. Men and women during dating try to look better, involuntarily hide their flaws, restrain negative emotions. After the wedding in life partners have the opportunity to see each other from all sides. Often this is followed by disappointment. Such a generous man on dates can be stingy in everyday matters. And a sweet, supple girl suddenly shows a demanding and categorical character.
Usually the newlyweds do not notice each other's shortcomings. The period of love still continues after the wedding. A relationship crisis occurs after about three years of family life. Most families survive this crisis without loss.
Accept your spouse as he is. Think, perhaps its disadvantages can turn into advantages if you look at them from a different angle. For example, greedy is economical, and too demanding is purposeful, strong-willed.
- Financial difficulties. This reason can be put on the first place in the list of factors that lead to a break in relations.
The wife makes a complaint to her husband that he is not a breadwinner; he cannot earn the necessary amount of money for the family. And the spouse sincerely wonders why he should sacrifice the purchase of a new spinning in order for his second half to buy himself new boots.
Everything is simple here: either partners learn to set financial priorities and donate something, or they go in search of a new relationship. But no one will give a guarantee that the situation will not happen again, only with the participation of other actors.
- Birth of a child. The relationship crisis that occurs after the appearance of a new family member affects almost all couples.
The baby requires the full attention of the woman, because of this, the man often begins to feel superfluous. Usually, the first years of the baby’s life require only financial support from the father. The young mother takes all the care of the child to herself, forgetting about her husband. As a result, the joy of having a son or daughter for a man turns into disappointment in family life.
A young mother is difficult to pay attention to her husband and child. But you need to prioritize the preservation of the family. After all, it will be only a couple of years, the baby will grow up and everything will be fine. A man needs to take on some of the responsibilities of child care, and a woman should remember her wife and pay him more attention.
- The crisis in the relationship due to the natural changes of age.
In the life of men of mature age there is a revaluation of values. Often a person, looking back, begins to regret that he did not have much time to do. All that he has achieved is worthless in his eyes. In an attempt to regain youth and live life differently, a man often begins to commit reckless actions - to spend money on unnecessary things, entertainment, to get involved in alcohol, sometimes it goes to change. In psychology, there is even a special term “midlife crisis”, which defines this period in a man’s life.
A woman has such a period during menopause. It seems to her that with the loss of the ability to become pregnant, bear and give birth to a child, she will lose youth and attractiveness. With the onset of menopause, many women put an end to their sexual life.
When you chose a life partner, you were ready to go with him this way to the end. No one remains forever young, all are subject to age-related changes. Sympathize with your partner, support him in this difficult period for him. Help a loved one with dignity to take a new stage in his life.
The main thing is to maintain a dialogue
Couples in which partners do not withdraw into themselves successfully cope with the crisis in relations. Talk about your feelings, experiences. If you are not satisfied with something in a partner, do not hesitate to say so. But not in the form of claims and claims. Learn to accept each other with all the advantages and disadvantages.
Remember that your partner is the same person as you. Put yourself in his place, try to understand the reasons for his actions. Think about how he feels in this situation. Perhaps you will see not only him, but also your mistakes.
In some cases, you need to pause in a relationship, break up for a while. There is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it is necessary for each person to be alone with himself, to understand his feelings, desires and aspirations.
If you still decide to leave, then find the strength to calmly talk about it, forgive each other for the previous offenses and wish good luck.
Of course, in most situations it is better to compromise and maintain relationships. Remember what binds you, how much you have already experienced. Take a break from the showdown and just spend the day together in nature or by the sea.
Learn to forgive and give in. In a happy relationship there is no "I", but there is - "we." In a difficult period for both of you, do not focus on mutual complaints, but think about how to fix it.
