The very phrase “first love” is often associated with a very bright feeling.
But, unfortunately, it rarely turns into a marriage. Most often people break up. But how to forget the first love and move on?
What is it and when does it come?
First love is a sincere and pure feeling, inspiring and inspiring.
If she mutualthen she is able to paint the life of a person in bright colors and make him truly happy.
It is important in our lives, because it is also important experience. It is during his first love that a person learns to build relationships with the opposite sex.
She may come in childhood, but, as a rule, it is very fleeting. Most often, the words “first love” recall youthful years, high school.
Suddenly your whole world starts spinning around one person and everything else goes to the background. Your heart is filled with joy, you feel the warmth and tenderness in your soul.
You constantly remember a particular person, seek to see him as soon as possible. So comes the first love.
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Is it true that feeling is not forgotten and why?
There is a widespread belief that the first love can never be forgotten, even after 30-50 years. The reasons for this are as follows.:
- That was your first strong sensory experience. You will compare all further feelings with him.
- From the first relationship, as a rule there are only pleasant emotions. Even after many years, you will remember her with tenderness, because this is the first feeling of joy from romantic feelings.
- There is also such a reason as incomplete relationship. You dreamed of marriage and invented names for future children, but for some reason the relationship came to an end. And now you remember about it and think about how things could have happened if the relationship continued. This is the feeling of incompleteness.
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Is it possible to forget?
Many also wonder if it is possible to forget your first love at all? Is it real?
In fact, this is extremely rare. After all, not only the first relationship, but also the first parting with the object of their feelings causes a lot of emotions and experiences.
It all leaves deep mark in the soul. Undoubtedly, with time everything passes, you begin to live on. But the memories periodically overtake you.
And yet, if you make an effort, you can learn to remember the first love at least less. There are some tips that will help you with this. We will look at them below.
Should I go back to the past?
It often happens that a person cannot forget his first love for a long time.
In the end, he concludes that maybe it was the “same” feelingthat once and for all.
And begins to attempt to resume the old relationship.
However, we often forget that some time has passed. You have changed, your first love is also a completely different person.
You matured, changed your views on the world, got some life experience. Therefore, in any case, the renewed relationship will not be similar to past feelings. And, quite likely, you frustrated.
In addition, we tend to idealize our first love. And when confronted with reality, we understand that it far from our notions. As a result, the relationship is destroyed, and that image from the first love also does not cause pleasant memories.
So it is best not to renew past relationships, even if it’s about first love.
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Psychological advice and practical recommendations
I can not forget the first love: what to do? So, as we found out, forget the first love is very difficult, but still you need to try to do it. Experts in the field of psychology make the following recommendations in this matter:
- Stop communicating. How is it possible to forget about something if you still keep in touch? You need to go your own ways, and not cling to the past. So, if you can, stop any contact with your first love. If this is not avoided - try to at least limit them as much as possible.
- Accept your parting. Perhaps you still have somewhere in the depths of your soul the hope that you will be together and everything will be as before. But the more you think about it and build such illusions, the more difficult it will be for you. Therefore, it is important to accept that these relations are over, they cannot be returned and it is time to move on.
- Stop talking about your past partner.. If you remember him in any conversation, how can you forget? Therefore, it is necessary to keep track of your own words, each time it will be easier and easier.
- Remember why you broke up. If you can’t walk away from the distance and remember first-time love, then a good way to get rid of these chains will be the reason for ending your relationship. You can also remember that you are annoyed in your partner, because of what you swore.
You cannot forget your love just because you remember the good and idealize those feelings. But for sure there were conflicts, something did not like. Try to concentrate on that.
- Stop justifying your partner. Perhaps the reason for parting was betrayal or even betrayal by your lover. And now you can not forget about him, because you begin to justify his act. You start thinking that you can close your eyes to this. Stop doing it! Think objectively, if he could do this once, then it will happen again.
- You have a chance for a happy relationship. Stop thinking that you will no longer meet such a person and you will not be so comfortable with anyone.
- Take a break. Yes, the first time you will often recall past relationships. But if you constantly lie under a blanket and think about how good it used to be - you will dig into depressive thoughts deeper and deeper. Try to somehow occupy yourself, get out of the house. It may even be worth going somewhere for a couple of weeks to remind about the former relationship as little as possible.
- Ask for help. Yes, it is sometimes useful to be alone with your thoughts. But if you can not let go of the situation, then you should ask for help. Parents and friends are sure to respond to your call and help you get on the new path.
If you understand that everything has gone too far, then do not be afraid and do not hesitate to contact a psychologist!
- Stop spying. You do not need to monitor your partner’s social networks, asking your mutual friends about each step. If possible, block your ex everywhere, and ask friends to try not to mention him.
- Stay honest with you. You can begin to pretend that everything is good and does not disturb you, but inside you will experience. Therefore, first it is better to contact your loved one and speak out. Then gradually return to the usual life.
- Use separation to your advantage. Instead of feeling sad, think better about what advantages have appeared and what opportunities have opened up before you. Now you can finally do what you have planned for a long time. Maybe you wanted to learn something? Or try something new? Now for this is the best moment. Moreover, you now have much more free time, so dedicate it to yourself!
- Get up already from the couch. How long can you lie down, listen to sad music and review joint photos? If you do not want to get depressed, then you should pull yourself together. Turn on cheerful and energetic music, watch a motivating film, go to the gym, go for a walk around the city, meet up with friends.
- Switch to positive. Try to do everything that will please you and make you feel more confident. Update your wardrobe, change your haircut, please yourself with a large purchase. Go to a restaurant and enjoy a delicious meal, sign up for courses on raising self-esteem. Anything that brings pleasant emotions will surely help you forget your first love.
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How to forget the first experience after years?
It happens that 10 years have passed, and you still remember your first love. Here it is important to distinguish between what is experienced.
- If it’s just pleasant memories that make you feel warm, then you shouldn’t worry too much. it nostalgia.
If you are alone now, then most likely you just want to repeat the same feelings. Therefore, the best thing in such a situation to enter into a relationship - and immediately everything will be forgotten.
If you are in a relationship, just think how unpleasant you would be if your partner also remembered his old relationships? So try switching. Maybe between you now some kind of alienation and it is worth working on the current relationship?
- If you feel a desire for your first love, then perhaps the best option would be meet her or find out about her. Now the object of your youthful feelings is likely to have changed a lot, and, possibly, has already started a family. This can help you understand that you should move on.
- If you are in pain when thinking about the object of your first love and this prevents you from starting a new relationship, then urgently need the help of a specialist. A competent psychologist will help you forget your old feelings and start moving forward.
First love is a strong feeling that is hard to forget. But you can try to do it. Perhaps you at least start to remember it less often.
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