It was the eve of 2012.
In the last week before the New Year, a terrible situation rushed in at work. This holiday panic and bustle happens in all companies that distribute something that can fit in a gift box and present for the New Year.
On the one hand, all employees anticipated the holidays, starting quietly "to relax", on the other hand, they tried to serve this intense pre-New Year boom, lingering at work until late.
Finally, the last working day came before the long-awaited holidays. And the workers were flitting out of the office, giving their colleagues cheerful smiles on tired faces with promises to meet in the New Year.
Working year came to an end. I was walking with a colleague on the transition under the humming pre-holiday car polyphony, Prospect Mira, getting ready to enter the subway.
We both had high spirits.
A colleague told me that he was very happy for the upcoming holidays: "finally, you can relax."
I said that I was also very happy, but my joy is overshadowed by the fact that the holidays will end. And will have to return to the unloved office. Everything will be repeated again.
Recalling this incident, I think that my attitude came not so much from the inability to enjoy the moment "here and now", but rather from the question that tormented me all past, 2011: "Am I going to do this all my life?"
I see how people thoughtlessly surrender to the drunken merry feast of holidays, being in the sense of hopes that must come true, of some kind of renewal (the New Year - all the same), so that later, after the holidays, again plunge into the old hateful. And so year after year. I did not want this then and now I do not want.
Then in 2012 such things as self-employment, refusal from tedious full-time work, doing business that inspires and pleases, the opportunity to travel when you want, seemed unreal dreams. By some rare lucky ones.
But now 2018 is sneaking up, leaving 2017 behind, which has become quite successful for me in many ways.
I entered the magistracy at the psychological department. Passed a series of courses for psychotherapists.
My course Without Panic 2, which I shot a whole year, has become quite popular. He continues to help people get rid of panic attacks, I get a lot of grateful feedback - and I am very happy about it.
I launched the youtube channel. If you have not subscribed yet - be sure to subscribe! And watch my new video about raisin meditation.
My wife quit her job and now helps me.
I solved many pressing everyday questions that had "hung" for several years in my life.
I give my energy to people, and get something in return. I achieved a dream that I planned back in 2012. Although it is better to say, I continue to implement it - after all, there is no limit to perfection.
And in this article I would like to draw a small line and identify the 5 main principles that help me to make my dreams come true. Without these principles, I would never have realized my wildest desires.
Perhaps these principles will help you make the new 2018 truly new.
Principle 1 - Practice, practice
With meditation everything started. To change your life you need to change your mind.
Daily, regular meditation has opened up opportunities for me to change myself. She showed that my character, my personality traits, my flaws and weaknesses are not a given.
This is what I can work with. This is what I can change.
Meditation allowed me to get out of my comfort zone, cross all my doubts, accept all temporary setbacks, give a place for anxiety and fear inside and move right along with these emotions to my values.
Meditation shook off the illusion of me, allowed me to see beyond my limited ideas and narrow horizons generated by habit.
Now I try to meditate every day for about an hour in total. Once a week I meditate for at least 2 hours, observing this day and other arrangements with myself.
Daily practice supports me in the morning with my strength, and in the evening, relieving stress. It helps not to give in to instant emotions, momentary doubts, restless thoughts that attack me, like every person, from time to time, trying to knock me off the intended path.
Meditation helps me move forward.
Principle 2 - Listen, but listen to no one.
I can not say that I have always ignored someone else's opinion. Of course, I always listened to people.
But, nevertheless, the last decision was always for me. I call it this way: "listen to people, but do not listen to anyone."
And I did not allow anyone to make judgments about how I should live and earn a living to condition my final choice.
What I just did not say. That I will not succeed. What to create a website on the Internet about self-development is not serious, that we should continue to work in the office like everyone else. Who am I to give advice to people. Etc.
This is normal and natural. People used to stay in the comfort zone, among the usual things. And, at times, with condemnation and disapproval, they perceive someone's attempts to break out of this zone, to create something new, to do something different.
Moreover, such doubts and condemnations do not always come from outside. Most often, the most implacable critic, an uncompromising judge, we find within ourselves.
(That is why people who decide on something unusual need external support. But it is not always possible to get it. I cannot say that I was supported by all those who surrounded me.)
I constantly face doubts, fears, anxiety, uncertainty. But I just try to take them and move on.
But most people can’t get out of the comfort zone just because they don’t manage to give place to all these doubts and fears.
But doubt is natural, because any bold undertaking goes hand in hand with doubts. They can not just "remove."
And ultimately, I still followed the call of my heart, accepting doubt, anxiety and insecurity.
Principle 3 - Just do
It would be wrong to allocate only some of their own merits. There was a lot of luck, a favorable set of circumstances, the help of other people. Everything in this world is interconnected. And the result of my work is simply the fruit of this deep world interaction.
But this does not mean at all, the fact that you need to give up, just “go with the flow,” to stand idle at the moment when life itself provides an opportunity.
I was very lucky that at work I had plenty of free time during my office activities. I, like the surrounding employees, could sit idle, play browser games, read jokes.
But I decided to spend this time trying to create, organize, fill with material and promote my website. My employer, without knowing it, became my investor, allowing me to eat and pay for a rented apartment, while I worked every day on the site, which in the initial stages did not bring any income.
That is, life gave me the opportunity, and I just responded to it.
And I just did. He worked monotonously and for a long time. Making mistakes, stepping on rakes.
I had no money to hire a programmer. And I have long and tediously read manuals on how to create a website on a free engine.
Then I installed the engine, picking at the code without special programming skills, making changes by trial and error.
I tried different ways of promotion, scooping information about SEO from the Internet.
Understand how to set up contextual advertising. And about other ways to make money on your site.
But, of course, I could then, in 2012, decide that all this is very difficult. That I will not succeed. What if it were so easy, everyone would earn by blogging and educational channels.
That it is very risky and I have a chance to "burn out". What is this "unstable."
But instead of thinking long, I decided to try. And just did.
And in the beginning I received almost zero earnings, which gradually increased. And when it became substantial, I experienced tremendous satisfaction.
It was connected not only with the money itself, but with the fact that my work is valued, that people need it, that there is a significant return.
Earnings are not only material, but also moral support. When you start to earn decently, doing your own business, in which they themselves have invested a lot of work and effort - this is an indescribable feeling of joy.
Then you see that it is not necessary to live and work "like everyone else", to go to the office every day in order to have an acceptable standard of living and contribute to the development of the society in which you live. Self-confidence rises and you think: "It’s good that I didn’t listen to anyone."
But here, as elsewhere, there is no "magic recipe." Each result requires labor, sometimes long, hard and responsible and, of course, risky.
Having doubts, fear, anxiety is normal. No need to think about how to stop doubting, to show ingenious ingenuity, coming up with new excuses for yourself: "why am I not ..."
You just need to do.
Principle 4 - Think, Plan, Reflex
But nothing would have come of it if I did not devote time to reflection about the future. I avoided beautiful rhetorical questions for which there are no answers.
I asked specific questions.
What will I do next?
How can I improve my life?
How do I earn more?
How can I best realize my skills, my knowledge and experience?
When did I do this? In free time. Alone with myself. Or, when walking with his wife.
I remember how my wife and I sat in one of the courtyards on the swings and constantly looked through various options for how we could create the business of our dreams. There were a lot of options: from the online store, which, by the way, we didn’t implement very successfully, to specialized online services that remained at the idea stage.
We all discussed it. Discussed. Thought. And they began to implement with uncertain, modest steps, limited by our capabilities at that time: there was no own money, there was no investment. The first steps failed. But it was these first steps that gave experience, perseverance and courage to try further and keep moving.
I did not immediately think that my experience in overcoming panic attacks, bad habits, my experience in meditation, might be interesting to someone. And that this can be done a matter of life.
Only after I began to read the site of Steve Pavlin (one of the most popular English-language blogs about self-development), I was convinced that such a site can bring great value to people and become a source of income.
As a result, this is a win on all fronts: on the one hand, the site benefits many people, on the other it benefits me, on the third it stimulates me to develop further in the field of self-development. For example, to receive specialized additional education, to master skills, to show more diligence in personal practice in order to better help others.
But all this was preceded by a time of reflection, reflection.
I just found time to think. On the weekend. On holidays.
By the way, the New Year holidays have always been a "breakthrough" time for me - my mind rested from work, I was left to myself, I thought and pondered a lot.
And now I also try to find time for reflection: "how can I convey my knowledge and experience to more people?" "How else can I do differently?"
The mind of many people is busy only thinking about the immediate, immediate. Planning horizons are very narrow. And if they think about the future, it is not in a constructive manner. Their reflection is rather disturbing.
I also have such a feature. I often bury my thoughts in what is happening at the moment or with anxiety I think about the future, I ask meaningless rhetorical questions in my mind. And often this led to periods of stagnation and irresistible inertia.
But, I try to deduce myself from this (not without the help of meditation) and look at life from a broader perspective, to think, plan and ask specific questions.
Principle 5 - Discipline
I understand why laziness is one of the main vices. If the manifestation of some other shortcomings can be compensated by virtues, then with laziness everything is different.
Because laziness negates all life opportunities. A person who succumbs to laziness simply does nothing and thereby cuts off all the paths for his own development.
I myself am not without laziness. In general, all my life before starting to engage in meditation, I was extremely unorganized and undisciplined, and I know what a devastating impact on life this has. I am convinced that laziness can become not only the cause of all kinds of life failures, but also an indirect prerequisite, for example, of depression.
Therefore, a factor that prevents the chronic manifestation of laziness is discipline.
There must be some rules that keep your will in good shape, limit the scope for disorder, systematize your work.
For example. Get up early. Go to bed early. Work without distracting by timer. Do everyday exercises: physical education, meditation, yoga. Informational hygiene. Time management and leisure planning.
All sorts of regular posts: temporary dietary restrictions, sexual.
External organization - forms the internal organization
All this creates a solid foundation for moving forward.
To make New Year New ...
New Year's holidays and New Year, bring a sense of joy, renewal. And I, together with everyone, surrender to this joy. But the joy and sense of renewal pass. And if we do not change anything in our life, then everything remains as before.
Therefore, I wish you that the New Year will bring something really new to your life.
So that holidays become for you not just another rest, a succession of hard drinking, but also a source of inspiration, new creative ideas and bold life plans.
Therefore, try to spend more time outdoors at this wonderful time, visit relatives, and spend time with your family. Practice - now you have more opportunities and leisure for this.
Usually in the New Year they say: "May all your dreams come true." But they will not come true simply from the fact that you connect with glasses. Yes, dreams come true, but only when we ourselves make it possible, when we are striving with all our strength to make them come true.
And I also wish you to embody all your dreams, to realize your values despite fear, doubts and anxiety. And may all be well with you!
Peace of mind, clarity and acceptance!
