Love seldom gets around to this beautiful feeling. subject to all, without exception, peopleregardless of social status, age or gender.
But sometimes along with love come complications - especially when the object of love for one reason or another is out of reach or there are some obstacles for its realization.
What to do if you fell in love with the teacher - recommendations of psychologists to those who got into this difficult situation.
Psychology and causes
Cases where students fall in love with their teachers are actually very common - simply, for obvious reasons, this does not always become public domain.
Love is an intimate feeling, and many prefer to hide it from others, especially in high school. Why it happens?
Teacher is in constant contact with his students, interacts with them, teaches the subject, gives advice and admonitions and, of course, encourages.
In the end, between the teacher and the student, a close spiritual connection can arise, a relationship that can lead to the student or the student feeling love for his teacher.
This happens especially when parents do not pay enough attention to a teenager, are cold with him, do not show warm feelings, and he finds more support and care from his teacher.
Pupil can feel need for patronage and receive them from the teacher, which creates the prerequisites for love. But the opposite is the case - when teachers fall in love with their students.
It is also quite natural - because the teacher often puts the soul into his work, and with his pupil spends considerable part of his life, experiences with it difficult periods and moments of joy, which lays the foundation for personal attachment to the student.
In this case, most often teachers fall in love with their students who believe that in their life they missed something in adolescence, did not realize themselves sufficiently.
The teacher activates the so-called "puer complex" - a teenager.
What to do if you fell in love with a teacher or with your student or student how to do and deal with your feeling?
What if I fell in love?
Psychological advice and practical recommendations:
School teacher
Although first love is a categorical feeling, one should first of all think - is it true love?
Perhaps this is love, which may well pass after some time, replaced by calm respect for the teacher.
it's the same very strong feelingand one cannot say that it is not serious - but it is necessary to allow the situation when your attitude towards the teacher, as well as plans for the future, can change.
If you decide that you really fell in love - do not rush things. Every day you go to school and see a teacher in class - enjoy the pleasure of communication. Well learn his subject - as a teacher, he will be very pleased.
But the main - do not demand immediate reciprocity. On the contrary, pay attention - is the teacher himself interested in a close relationship?
Does he want to respond to your feelings?
Perhaps he is already married and has children - and he is happy in his family life. Will you destroy happiness loved one?
Does the teacher know about your feelings? Perfectly! A competent teacher will certainly find a way out of the situation and give the right advice on what exactly you should do.
If even the teacher is single and wants to respond to you in return, you still have to wait a while, until you come of agedon't finish school.
You should not hurry and lose your head - as a love affair with a student can only harm the reputation of the teacher you love.
You have everything ahead, and nothing terrible will happen, because true love can endure the test of time.
I love teachers in school. Personal experience:
To the teacher
If you fell in love with a teacher, you should also think about your feelings and not be afraid to assume that in future can transform into respect, although the biggest challenge for guys is their pursuit of maximalism.
Someone may experience their love quietly, but some can not cope with their own feelings, and the latter, sometimes, pushes them to rash actions.
If you cannot keep your feelings in yourself, you may well confess to the teacher of love - but not in front of the whole class, but best to do it tete-a-tete.
It is also not necessary to put the teacher in an awkward position in front of her colleagues and other students with gifts, bouquets of flowers and other romantic manifestations - a school for a teacher, above all place of work.
Also, do not strive to prove your love for her - most likely, she perfectly understands your feelings.
It should also be understood that the best solution will wait for graduation. A teacher cannot afford a relationship with her student, so you need to be patient and not demand the fullness of reciprocity, even if you are sympathetic to her.
What should a teacher do if a student declares love to her? Find out from the video:
In a university teacher
Female students also often fall in love with their teachers, and with young graduate students, and with more mature professors. First you need soberly assess the situation and try to understand yourself better.
Ask yourself simple questions. - what do you want from a possible relationship? Will they be serious or do you tolerate a short romance? Do the teacher need such a relationship?
Pay attention to the reciprocity of your feelings. Does the answer meet your love for him?
If the teacher does not reciprocate, don't be defiant, wear "club" clothes and turn his place of work into a testing ground for his seduction.
If he has real feelings for you, he, as a man, should show enough attention and resourcefulness so that, at a minimum, you meet not in the workplace, but, as fully grown people, in an informal setting.
However, it should be noted that some men may well take advantage of this situation - think do your intentions match? Are the teacher's feelings serious enough?
Fell in love with the teacher. About the relationship between student and teacher:
In teacher
If you fell in love with a teacher, also ask yourself - does she need this relationship? It should be remembered that the most important thing in love is reciprocity. Perhaps she is married and her family life suits her.
The main thing is not to compromise it in front of colleagues, to treat with understanding that it is in the workplace.
In his student
This is also not the rarest case. Nothing unusual that you have a love for an adult guy.
Love can also be caused in this case by the fact that you see the potential that the young man possesses - while you missed something in your time.
If you are married and your husband has failed to succeed on time, this may also be a reason for falling in love. Ask yourself - does the young man reciprocate you? Is he ready for a serious relationship?
If you cannot cope with your feelings, think about whether your admission of love to him will not be publicized?
Clearly separate the two concepts - work and personal lifeand never mix them. Do not try to attract attention and attract a student with good grades - treat him the same way as the rest. There is another time for personal relationships.
Relations with a teacher at the institute - tips:
In high school
In this case, you need to learn to control your feelings. Remember that you are older and with your authority, attention to him can easily achieve the high school student's disposition, but do not rush to treat him as an adult.
Try to cope with your love, do not make a “pet” out of a student, do not put high scores for anything and at the same time do not make excessively strict demands on him.
In order for him to feel your sympathy, it will be enough to communicate in class - he will definitely notice her - and then decide for himself how best to act.
And even if he wants to reciprocate, you should wait for graduation and full age of the student.
The main thing is to remember that love during this time will pass, and a few years for true love - this is a short time.
How to cope with feelings for high school? Recommendations in the video:
Prospects and consequences of such a relationship
The first thing that is always worth paying attention to both students and teachers - age of sexual consent is 16 years. Until reaching this age, refrain from such a topic even if love is mutual.
Also remember that the teacher’s sexual relationship with the student is an immoral act that, if publicly announced, will unanimously condemn others and most likely lead to the teacher’s dismissal.
All that remains for a teacher and student who loves each other is to wait for graduation before allowing all the manifestations of love to each other to the full.
In this case, most often, love at school age ends with the understanding that it is only falling in love; nevertheless, it can significantly affect the further choice of partner maturing man. This should be remembered by the teacher and in no case should not be rude to the feelings of the students.
In the case of higher education institutions - in the privacy of adults no one has the right to interfereHowever, a love affair in the workplace, which the university is like for a teacher, is unethical and can also cause a conviction.
There are a lot of cases in life when students linked their lives with their teachers in marriage.
However, another phenomenon is also common - when teachers, in particular, male use their position in order to fulfill their natural needs. In particular, students should understand this.
As for true love, not only impulses are characteristic of it, but also a calm flow, humility with difficult temporary circumstances, and expectation. It is she who can resist such obstacles as time.
