Any relationship has the right to life.
Someone is satisfied short novels, someone prefers cohabitation without mutual obligations, and someone marries.
But sooner or later, each person begins to feel the need for stability, support and a reliable shoulder nearby.
And at this moment he wonders what is “serious relationship” and how to build them?
Concept
The relationship severity indicator is mutual feelings partners and their conscious desire to be together.
A person does not just have a good time waiting for the “best option”.
He has already made his choice and is ready to bear the choice. a responsibility. Relations in this case are for him not just some part of life. They completely define life.
Signs of
Marriage, contrary to popular belief, is not a major indicator of a serious relationship. It implies cohabitation, common housekeeping and upbringing of the heirs.
But the stamp in the passport does not guarantee the depth of feelings. To understand the true state of affairs can only be carefully analyzed the behavior of your partner.
In this case, you need to focus not on beautiful words and promises, but on real actions and deeds.
- Joint plans for the future. A partner does not just have a good time in your company. He makes plans for the future and gradually makes them a reality. And when asked if you will marry / buy a dog / build a house / visit your parents, the answer is specific dates and dates, not abstract promises.
- Constancy and regularity. The concepts of "constancy" and "regularity" in relationships are key. The partner does not just appear in your life from time to time, unexpectedly and without warning coming to visit or inviting to the cinema / theater / park. You know for sure when you see the next time, and meetings occur often. Plans for joint leisure are negotiated in advance. And if your soul mate changes plans or unforeseen circumstances arise, you will certainly be notified and transferred to the meeting.
- Common problems. A person who is in a serious relationship shares his problems with his beloved (oops). And this does not always mean asking for help. In some cases, the second half really wants to get help, in other cases, it is simply counting on support or trying to keep its partner “in the know.”
- Integration into the circle of communication partner. Your chosen one is ready to introduce you to your social circle, to meet with friends, colleagues and parents. He does not hesitate to openly declare what is in a relationship and to appear together in public places / in people.
If a person does not want to acquaint you with his parents, this does not mean his frivolous attitude. People tend to overestimate this "sign of serious intentions."
But situations in families are different. Perhaps your chosen one (s) is embarrassed by their parents, their intended reaction. Or the person simply maintains a formal relationship with the family, without experiencing warm feelings for his father and mother.
- Help. The partner is worried about you and is always ready to offer all possible assistance. It does not disappear when difficulties appear on the horizon, but tries to surround you with attention and care. All problems in a pair are divided into two and solved by joint efforts. Those. a person perceives the difficulties of a loved one as his own.
- The right priorities. People do not waste time on relationships that are not important to them. If a partner prefers other leisure options to your society, it means that he is not serious. Of course, sometimes everyone needs to unwind in the company of friends, or be alone. But under the condition of a serious relationship, the lion’s share of free time should be given to the chosen one (s).
- Quarreling. It sounds strange, but people in a serious relationship should quarrel. The fact is that a man and a woman have a different type of thinking, and this means that sooner or later a pair of contradictions arise. But if the relationship is just an easy affair, the person will avoid sharp corners and nullify the quarrel. He will simply agree with the opinion of the partner, without delving into the essence of the problem, so as not to spoil his mood. Why waste your nerves if a woman / man does not represent value? After all, one can silently leave and “wait out the storm”, in order to appear after some time.
In a serious relationship, quarrels always end in reconciliation. And the desire to restore "peace" must come from both partners.
- The value of the opinions of others. Your partner does not just do as he sees fit. He asks for your opinion and always takes it more or less into account. If a person is ready to slam the door and act in his own way, ignoring all your protests, then he does not care about your feelings.
- The desire to be near, regardless of the status of the partner. A person is ready to spend hours and days with you if you are cheerful, look good and support an interesting topic for him? But at the same time, it disappears sharply if you are ill, in a bad mood or are you trying to tell about your own plans / experiences / news? So talking about the seriousness of his intentions senseless.
Lack of communication - psychology and causes
A frivolous relationship is a relationship that one of the partners or both partners treat as temporary, non-continuing link.
Such a relationship does not affect the life and behavior of a person. It is needed only to fill the void (in the sphere of communication, entertainment, sex, etc.).
A frivolous relationship can be described as follows: a person is good with his “second half”, but he can do very well without her.
There are two situations in which frivolous relationships arise:
- The man does not want a serious relationship in principle - The reasons for this can be many. Some people are just afraid to take responsibility. Someone is not ready to part with freedom, adventure and the right to choose. It is necessary to take into account the wrong psychological attitudes, when a person identifies a serious relationship with constant quarrels, lack of passion and "bytovuha."
- The man does not want a serious relationship with you. He / she is not against starting a serious relationship. But in the field of view there are no candidates suitable for the role of a permanent satellite. And in order not to linger alone in anticipation of his “ideal”, a person starts a temporary relationship.
How can a couple make a serious relationship?
If elected (ca) does not have deep feelings, attempts to transfer relations to a new level are hopeless.
You can try to manipulate, sacrifice your own boundaries and principles, trying to become meaningful for another person. But all this will lead to unhealthy relationships, devoid of stability.
But if a person keeps you in the “frivolous zone” because of fears, misconceptions about serious relationships or lack of experience, the situation can be corrected. But only under the condition that the couple have mutual feelings of love or love.
Do not press on partner
Do not be beat the drums and blow up salutes, and then declare your loved one that you now have a serious relationship. Putting ultimatums is also not necessary. Yes, and tantrums / quarrels / scandals will not help here.
If a person does not want to enter into a serious relationship because of fear or prejudice, such tactics only scare away him. The best to conquer time and territory smoothly, without voicing your plans.
Spend more time with your beloved, offer your help, be interested in plans and affairs, support in difficult situations.
Gradually, the second half will get used to your constant participation and presence, after which won't want to part.
Listen and draw conclusions
Do not directly ask questions about the relationship. It is better to listen to what a person says about other people and their unions. Separate phrases, aptly expressed point of view and evaluative comments will help establish the causein which the partner avoids a serious relationship.
For example: “Well, why does he need this wedding, because now he will be sitting at home in prison!” This phrase says that man is afraid of losing his freedom.
So a woman who craves a serious relationship, we must agree with a man about personal boundaries and personal time.
Another example: “I do not want to get married, my elder sister was beaten by her husband”. Here comes into play fear of physical violence. So a man should give a woman a sense of security, show and prove that she has nothing to fear.
Bug work
If you want a serious relationship, have to work on yourself. It is necessary to give up habits that your chosen one (s) does not like, to master new behaviors and to pay attention to the wishes of the partner.
Tips for girls and women
Why a man does not want a serious relationship?
Men are conquerors by nature. They are seduced by the idea of the conquest of many women.
Attention from the female confirms male consistency and attractiveness.
A serious relationship is rejection of all women in favor of one. An important role is also played by the well-established stereotype that a man condemns himself to a boring and joyless life.
Stand apart are men who do not feel "solid ground under their feet." They are afraid that they will not pull up a serious relationship in material terms (there is no apartment, stable income, prospects, etc.).
The man said he did not want a serious relationship: what to do?
When a girl is really in love and can not give up the relationship with a man, you need to understand the cause of the problem.
If mutual feelings are absent, it is better to immediately break the connection with the chosen one or to prepare for the fact that sooner or later the relationship will be reduced to separation. If you still have mutual feelings, you will have to work on relationships.
If a man says he does not want a serious relationship, you can try play on his feelings. For this it is necessary to show that the woman is also not interested in a strong union. As a result, the representative of the stronger sex will feel the interest, excitement and desire to achieve love.
How to find a good guy for a serious relationship?
A good man, like a bad one, can be found anywhere.
Therefore, it is necessary to consider different options, meet and communicate. But Immediately enter into a relationship is not worth it.
Find out the potential companion closer, look at his behavior and actions. It is very important to remove the "rose-colored glasses", not to pay attention to the beautiful words and elegant gifts.
Severity indicator the guy is just his actions, concern, willingness to help and genuine interest in all areas of your life.
Feel free to ask for help, share problems, come to meetings without makeup and seductive outfits. Cavalier, who is interested only in “beautiful cover” and pleasant company, to withdraw himself.
Recommendations for men and men
The girl does not want a serious relationship: why and what does it mean?
Girls tend to create family, home and comfort.
If a woman does not want a serious relationship, then she is not sure that this man can become a reliable and worthy partner in life.
The reason for not wanting to enter into a serious relationship can be past love disappointments. You can fix the situation with care and attention. A woman should understand that a man is serious, you can start a family with him.
How to find a woman for a serious relationship?
Men, as well as women, need to look closely at various types in order to determine the image of the ideal partner. The strong floor pays great attention to the external data of the woman.
You can fall in love with a beautiful face and long legs, and then get bored in the company of a girl without finding common topics for conversation.
And so as not to lose the choice of companion, it is better to start searching in those places / circles that are interesting to the guy.
No matter how developed the relationship, you can not get hung up on the negative. After all, even mistakes and disappointments - this is a valuable experiencewhich in the future will help create a harmonious union.
To learn how to build a serious relationship, you can learn from this video:
