How often do you refuse the desired only because you consider yourself unworthy of it? You worry that you will not cope with new duties and therefore you avoid promotion. It seems to you that with such external data and financial situation personal life can never be arranged. You think that there is no point in further learning, as your intellectual abilities leave much to be desired. Such installations are able to derail life. But how to gain self-confidence?
How to increase self-esteem
Low self-esteem - the main cause of self-doubt. To increase it, use the following tips:
- Get rid of the complexes.
Find out what you are most comfortable with in yourself, and get rid of the complexes about this. It is difficult, but nothing is impossible. Do not you like yourself externally? Go on a diet, sign up for the gym, visit the hairdresser and beautician, pick up clothes that will emphasize the dignity of your figure. Feel free to earn little? Change jobs, take refresher courses and ask to transfer you to a more paid position. Afraid of public speaking due to speech problems? Sign up to a psychologist and speech therapist.
Eliminate the cause of your complexes, and you will get rid of them. Who is the ideal for you from public people - movie stars, models, journalists, broadcasters? Choose a landmark for yourself, let this person motivate you to change.
- Accept your imperfection.
There are no perfect people. Even famous people are far from perfect. Look at Oprah Winfrey. If she was worried about being overweight and forbidding herself to be happy about it, would she be a famous TV host? Look at the Paralympic participants. Do they forbid themselves to achieve sporting success? But most of them have no opportunity to walk! Lack of limbs or other injuries do not prevent them from being who they want.
Accept yourself for who you are. All the flaws and advantages make up your unique personality. Read the books of Dale Carnegie. They contain many inspiring examples. Did you know that many people who made history did not have initially outstanding data? But they developed and did not give up on the road to success. And you can!
- Allow yourself to be wrong.
Is perfectionism good or bad? Striving for excellence is great. But, if you bring the situation to the point of absurdity and execute yourself even for the slightest mistake, then you risk becoming a neurotic with low self-esteem. Mistakes are an integral part of life. Unsuccessful attempts temper character, present a lesson, open up an opportunity for growth.
Do you know what to do if your business is not successful? Say: "Well, God be with him!", Give up, rethink priorities and move on. After a year or two, you no longer remember your mistake today. Does it make sense to engage in self-digging?
- Exclude from your circle of people who do not believe in your success.
Self-doubt can grow out of attitudes towards you. Avoid those who have labeled "a loser" on you, who are teasing you and ruining your faith in yourself. Eliminate those who say: "You will not succeed," "Everything will be like last time," "Well, that's you! I did not expect anything else!" Say goodbye to everyone who brings any negative things into your life.
Maintaining relationships with people who ruin your self-esteem is like carrying a bag of trash. Leave him by the road, who needs it - will pick up. And you do not allow to fill your life with the stench of negativity that comes from such "friends."
- Take time to education.
Lack of knowledge is another reason for low self-esteem. Read more, improve your professional skills, attend trainings. First, you will feel more confident, constantly raising your awareness in various fields. Secondly, additional diplomas and certificates will serve as a reminder, first of all for you, that you know and know something.
Do you consider yourself a boring interlocutor and uninteresting person? Sign up for any courses, buy a new book, go through the popular online training. Think you do not meet the new post? Refresher courses or additional higher education will save you from such thoughts!
Direct energy in a constructive direction. Do not allow yourself to relax. Read, be interested, learn - in a word, keep up with the times!
- Work on your appearance.
Healthy skin, hair, teeth are the basis of external attractiveness. Also review your wardrobe. It is difficult to radiate self-confidence, putting on a coat that still remembers your school years. But even if this is all right with you, we advise you to change your image. The fact is that external changes always serve as a catalyst for internal changes and vice versa. Want to become more confident? New style will help you with this!
When changing the image, we advise you to follow the advice of a stylist. It is not necessary to pay for professional services. Competent advice can be obtained on the thematic forum.
- Attend the gym.
Sports strengthen the character. Every training session you will have to overcome your laziness, force yourself to work. This is a great motivation. You will believe in yourself after seeing the first sports successes.
Watch your achievements not only in the gym, but in all areas. Motivate yourself! Keep a diary and write in it all your progress, even the most, in your opinion, insignificant.
Stop:
- to envy;
- compare yourself with others;
- be jealous;
- succumb to despondency;
- think that you will not succeed!
Do not think - act!
An insecure person is prone to thinking and analyzing for too long. If this is your problem, you probably do not sleep at night before an important event, thinking through every step. What if it doesn't work out? What if I fail? In psychology, there is such a thing as "perfectionist paralysis." It describes a state in which a person cannot start a certain activity (do work, give a speech, etc.) because of the fear that he will not be able to do everything perfectly.
How to deal with this phenomenon? Just become a man of action, not of thought! Remember, the proverb: "measure seven times, and once - cut off"? In childhood, we were all taught to first consider our action and only then perform it. But if the "perfectionist paralysis" prevents you from doing everyday things and makes you give up many joys of life, then you need to do the opposite.
If you have made a decision, then action must follow. Wean yourself from the habit of thinking about and analyzing the same situation several times in a row. The habit of arranging a personal “debriefing” and recalling to the smallest detail what you have already done also affects your self-esteem not in the best way.
Learn to relieve stress
An unsure person lives in constant stress. The fear of failure, the awareness of their own worthlessness are exhausting morally. A person feels compressed into a ball, he is always ready for failure and another blow of fate. Such a stressful state also has external manifestations. Often, people with low self-esteem, there is a so-called "speech clip". It is difficult for a person to express a thought, he cannot find the right words, the voice becomes intermittent and as if a stranger because of a feeling of stiffness in the larynx area.
Tremor, excessive sweating, dry mouth, cramps, restless sleep - all these signs are familiar to insecure people. To alleviate your condition, you must be able to relax and throw out all unnecessary things from your head. Meditation helps well, yoga. But remember that you first need to conduct classes with a specialist to understand how to properly perform actions.
Auto-training will help you to relax at the end of a busy day. To do this, repeat each of the following phrases up to 7 times, while causing a certain feeling in yourself:
- "My legs and arms are very heavy" - and cause a feeling of heaviness in the limbs.
- "My legs and arms are very warm."
- "My heart beats smoothly and calmly."
- "My breathing becomes calm and even."
- "Heat spreads in the solar plexus."
- "I feel cool in my forehead."
To gain self-confidence is not difficult, it is difficult to take the first step. Each of us on our way to happiness will have to defeat our complexes, weaknesses and shortcomings. Let yourself be what you want. Do not let low self-esteem and uncertainty ruin your life!
