The midlife crisis of a woman is worse than ICP. And in this case there is not much hope for chocolates, plaid and emotional series.
Because there is no opportunity to lie on the couch in the pritenny room a couple of years in a row, if, in principle, and especially in the eyes of others, you are all right with health.
Therefore, find out about the problem as much as possible, to be among those who have been exposed to the crisis, to be a good girl and beat him once or twice.
What is it in psychology?
With the onset of physical maturity, through the efforts of girlfriends who arrange the “crying of Yaroslavna”, each subsequent after the 35th birthday, about the cruelty of being and rushing towards old age, a number of women begin frantically search for evidence of the meaning of their own lives.
Naturally endowed with a violent fantasy, supported by tiredness and the beginning hormonal differences, which have been saved from the tiresome life, the ladies begin to see clearly: it turns out that the most attractive dreams no longer attract, but what has been achieved is something that earlier caused pride and desire to boast seems just pathetic and insignificant.
Under the onslaught of emotions and physiology the colors of life are fading, husband and children - if they are, annoying and perceived as ungrateful, work, even recently beloved, is the yoke, and the rest of their life - by hopeless darkness.
Age-related defects in appearance, difficulties with weight support, other possible health problems - this is additional firewood in the growing fire of self-destruction, the gleams of which so well illuminate all the other unpleasant moments in the body and life.
That is, a midlife crisis is a kind of fire test that every woman needs to go through. And only in her power to die in it, burned to the ground, or reborn as a phoenix.
When to wait for the first manifestations?
When does it begin? After 38 years, but someone can “get lucky” a couple of years earlier.
Especially if there are prerequisites: endocrine diseases, difficult personal life, big physical and intellectual loads, loss of a loved one, work or other losses.
Why is it coming?
The euphoria of youth, when it seems that you are immortal and the whole world can be subdued to you - you just need to try hard or be a little luckier than others, gradually decline, giving way to a sober outlook on life.
When summing up personal results it turns out:
- Forces are not so quickly restored, and appearance insists on greater attention from the hostess. Bantik - as in childhood, lipstick and clean hair - as in youth, and even a stylish outfit is not enough. You want to look good - be good to observe the daily regimen, adjust the diet taking into account the beneficial microelements, use masks, paints and the services of spa workers. And do not forget about fitness.
- There are excellent career achievements, most likely, there are problems in your personal life - exceptions for units. I devoted most of my adult life to my family - by the age of 40, this no longer seems like a great feat, and in front of me the feeling of being useless to children has grown up, to my husband - there are so many young girls hunting mature men with good income.
- Mirror treacherously "slips" the picture with wrinkles. Scales do not want to condone and contemptuously give confirmation that Sunday gatherings with girlfriends in a pizzeria, a pastry shop - one piezo-it was, were not in vain.
- Girlfriends "on the lawn grass is greener". Someone abroad is at work every month, someone has a child at Harvard, someone has opened a second-tenth company. There are thousands of options where your achievements look real or far-fetchedly miserable.
- Examples from the environment, when familiar middle-aged ladies not only stopped catching compliments from foreign men, but also lost attractiveness in the eyes of their own halves. Pity for them gradually erodes the way to fear in their own soul - just a little bit more and the same fate is prepared.
According to the results, it turns out that somewhere they fled all their lives, and as a result - one sadness. And there are 3-4 decades ahead of life, and even less. And they will have to live far from the baggage of forces that were originally given.
In other words, there is a reappraisal of values, typical of a person who has developed and accumulated life experience for decades.
The old "shell" of the new worldview shakes, because it passes emergency extension stageand this process is always painful. This is still wise Kaa said that it is always hard to fade.
How does it manifest itself?
If you look closely into the eyes of the boy-woman in the mid-life crisis, you will definitely see carefully disguised sadness.
Understanding that personal problems can be solved only by herself, and telling others about their existence will be more precious for herself, a woman who can solve any problems will be brave, pretends everything is fine there will be.
But in his heart he is terribly afraid of the approaching years, the ghosts of helplessness and decrepitude, abandonment, the uselessness of themselves and people.
From this throughout the daylight hours attitude towards others is tougher, requirements are higher, and in the evenings depression and apathy, sometimes filled with alcohol, misses sports training and disconnecting the phone in an attempt to escape from the world.
If the character of the lady is flighty, then all the close friends and relatives of the woman will find out about the coming crisis: many hours of phone calls to life and family, analysis of the bones of all who have gotten a tooth, reproaches of relatives for her callousness and ingratitude are guaranteed.
Or do you have to wrestle for hours, why mom-wife-sister-girlfriend For weeks, disappears from sight, is silentshe often walks with tear-stained eyes, refuses to attend joint events, has launched herself and her wardrobe, has hit on feeding stray cats and dogs.
The last lesson, of course, is a noble one, but when it passes under the motto: “Throw the pots out of the fridge, I have no place for bones from neighboring meals for kitsun”, then that's for sure.
Women who relied solely on their attractiveness are in the most difficult position.
Spending available and borrowed funds, they try to look like virgins 20 years old, but the end result is not very. And at all.
Because looking good at 40 is one thing. And quite another disguise as a damselhaving a decade of experience.
Hence the youth style of dressing, hiding the passport, attempts to look sexy at once for all men who had the misfortune of being born and living close to such a person, shrill. And alone with a tantrum, depression, thoughts and attempts of suicide.
Happiness, wise knowledge of the existence of a midlife crisis and the ability to correctly use the information received, experiencing a period of good for themselves.
Realizing that in a duel with time, all mortals always lose, they do not spend their lives on sighs about the past and the unfulfilled, on complaints, on depression. After analyzing what has been achieved, which is still of interest and has already lost appeal, they make the right conclusions.
On the basis of them, they fill their lives with new impressions, master popular professions and begin to rely only on themselves, if earlier, for some reason, they counted on the help of others.
At the same time, they are looking for optimal variants of peaceful coexistence with their changing shell and pamper her if previously several have neglected her care.
Signs and symptoms
Main symptoms and signs:
- Apathy. Hobbies do not attract, events do not interest, do not touch other people's experiences.
- Crying. Even a tail that is accidentally torn off from a tea bag can cause a long tantrum.
- Depression. All I want is to lie around the clock in a room where no one enters. At the same time, even thoughts in the head are not special. The world inside and around is perceived as empty space.
- All furious. That is, absolutely everything: husband, children, parents, friends, neighbors, colleagues. I secretly want to buy a gun and end this endless circle of irritation, leaving myself completely alone.
- Mood, as the "roller coaster" in Disneyland. But unlike the latter, the direction of the next round is difficult to predict.
- There is no future. Because there is no normal life at 45, especially at 50. And I don’t want to look at such a distance, I don’t want to make plans for the word at all.
- Deepest regret about the path already traveled: the wrong turns were chosen and the wrong people were given preference.
- Love for doctors and clinics, rapidly developing hypochondria and seeking out signs of the impending terrible diseases. Or full conniving attitude to health.
- The extremes in relations with the opposite sex are possible: some women begin a hectic sex life, seeking to catch up with the “missed”, others become “nuns” or goodies. And some manage to live like the first, but disguised as the second.
- Aggression. In the absence of a restraining framework in the form of fear of losing a job, a person, a partner, translates into a love of swearing because of the least excuse.
How long and what threatens?
The duration of this nightmare from one to three years.
Greatest dangers middle-aged woman’s crisis:
- turning into a hysterical hostility, convinced that the world and surrounding people owe it to the coffin of life;
- loss of family and kinship;
- the habit of a lecherous life has a bad effect on health;
- loose nerves;
- loss of work, property;
- diabetes and overweight, if you try to get rid of depression;
- suicide.
Having saddled the crisis, like a surfer wave, that is, having figured out where in life there are really blunders, and where everything is seen in black color purely because of the hormone jump and the fear of old age, you can safely and profitably move onto a new stage, leaving in the past complexes and all unimportant.
Tips for overcoming psychologists
How to overcome the female crisis?
Main recommendation: take the tank by the horns and realize that the crisis is a stage of development, and not the end of your life as a man and a woman.
Everything that happens in your head is a reflection of the accumulated fatigue and, possibly, of a neglected disease, hormones and knowledge of life that are out of control.
Having considered all this, distribute to the “sisters by the earrings”:
- Engage in improved leisure conditions.: stick to the daily routine, turn off the media before bedtime. And avoid them altogether. In many ways, they are guilty of the appearance of an inferiority complex in women over 35 years old.
- Control emotions. If necessary, support your body soothing, but do not get carried away.
- Do not throw sports. Dosed exercise helps better against age-related changes in the body than plastic.
- Master the new profession, a foreign language - New knowledge strengthens your faith in yourself, broadens your horizons and inspire further movement in life.
- Travel. Even a trip to the neighboring town for a couple of hours will have a good effect on overall well-being - changing the situation is invigorating and stimulates the desire to change life for the better.
- Find the strength and ability to pay attention to her husbandif the romantic in him is not dead. Already, even the flowers "on the grave" grafted?
Water them: only two can break free, remember what pleasant things brought you both pleasure ten years ago.
- Be sure to consult a good endocrinologist.to control your hormones and prevent them from destroying everything you have.
How to help your wife or girlfriend survive the condition?
Always current "pills" from the midlife crisis:
- love and Attention. If feelings and not circumstances bind you to a woman, there is always a reason to pamper your little girl. Affectionate buzzwords on the ear, daisies, full palms of sweet cherries;
- new travel experiences.
The crisis is not only an obstacle in the way of movement, but also a springboard for a jump to a height that previously seemed unattainable. What is he for you - choose yourself.
About the midlife crisis in women in this video:
