Every woman wants her marriage to be happy. However, even if a husband and wife truly love each other, it is impossible to avoid problems and misunderstandings. Happiness in marriage depends not so much on the number of disagreements, as on the ability to solve them. Although women are by nature endowed with greater sensitivity and flexibility, each one needs to know how to make peace with her husband and keep a warm atmosphere in the family.
Work moment
The first step to solving a problem is the right attitude towards it. Understanding that conflicts are only a divergence of opinions, which is inevitable, will help to treat the situation more simply, without considering it as the tragedy of all life or the end of love.
Due to the great emotionality, women tend to worry about the situation more than it is worth it. Therefore, you need to make a conscious effort to separate what is actually from what it seems.
To apologize
For many, this is one of the most difficult steps. There are several reasons for this.
For example, it can be difficult to apologize when it seems that the spouse is more to blame. But regardless of the degree of guilt, each spouse took part in the quarrel, therefore, both are guilty. And even if it seems that your own guilt is only 10%, you should apologize for that.
It may seem to someone that, having apologized, she will drop her own dignity, lose the argument. But asking for forgiveness does not mean admitting defeat; rather, it is an opportunity to win for your marriage.
It is worth thinking about your spouse. Would it be nice if he first came to ask for forgiveness? If so, why not give him such a gift?
Do not hesitate with an apology, if you wait a long time with this, then negative emotions will accumulate in the relationship. Old grievances eats into the memory and poison the senses. Having eaten, they emerge at every opportunity, only exacerbating the already unpleasant situations.
It is important that the request for forgiveness was sincere, from the heart. Falsity only offends even more. Loved one deserves sincerity. The phrase left with a caustic grin will not work: “Well, I wish you were so vulnerable!” It looks more like another accusation in a quarrel than a desire to restore peace.
The ability to ask forgiveness sincerely and as soon as possible will help further strengthen the relationship in marriage. After all, if you look at things realistically, any conflict is hardly the last, and the ability to find a way to reach an agreement will help reduce the emotional load of the situation.
When to talk
It is necessary to know not only how to make peace with her husband, but also when to do it. Often a woman scrolls in her head all day about the problem, what to say and how, recalls some situations, reads tips on the Internet, and if her husband comes home from work, a barrage of information falls out of him. This is annoying, because at work he was required to be completely focused, perhaps he was still considering some issues.
Having come home, he, first of all, needs to relax and switch to home life, perhaps to be the master of the remote control. And if the wife shows sensitivity and gives him the necessary time, he will feel that respect is shown to him. It helps to create an atmosphere of mutual respect. More chances are that later he will carefully listen to what his wife wants to say.
The very first and easiest way is a delicious dinner. Along with a feeling of satiety, calm comes, and already over tea you can discuss the situation that has arisen. Sometimes you can offer to go somewhere together, sit in a cafe or in a park.
How to talk
There is a definite difference between the words “speak” and “talk”. It lies in the fact that when people talk, they listen to each other and carefully select words.
Much depends on the wording. Keeping in mind the idea that most of the quarrel is only its emotional context, it is worthwhile to formulate phrases as an expression of one's feelings, and not facts. For example, you can say: “How does it look like you - you never consult me!” That sounds like a fact. If we talk about feelings, it turns out differently: “When you plan some business, and you do not discuss it, it seems that you neglect me.” you need. "
As for the latter, exactly what is said in a positive way, to a greater extent induces to accept advice or to fulfill the request.
After it is worth carefully listen to your spouse. In conversation, you should try to understand his feelings, why he acted one way or another. No need to dispute every word you disagree with. He is entitled to an opinion, and it would be respectful to listen to him. This experience will help reduce the risk of annoying repetition of the situation.
Those who want peace in the family and think about how to make peace with their husband should not mention past unpleasant situations. This may be convincing in its own rightness, but the spouse will feel like under a magnifying glass, and may in response recall old insults. A second wave of conflicts will begin, an obstacle arises in further communication. And even after the restoration of peace, there will be an unpleasant feeling that it will be remembered. Everyone will try to take a defensive position, and have their own “compromising material” on the spouse, then to decide who offended whom more and more often. It will not lead to peace.
Conflict behavior
Sometimes emotions cause a spouse to be the first to go to the world. This leads to the fact that the wives arrange a boycott: they do not prepare to eat, ignore the natural needs of their husbands. This, as a rule, only aggravates the situation, because he feels that he is being blackmailed.
Another nuance important for reconciliation is to keep the conflict within the family. Although for a woman to talk about a problem is almost to solve it, it is better not to talk about the quarrel with her friends or mother. First, if a spouse finds out about this, it can hurt him. Secondly, when a woman talks about the conflict, her friends sympathize with her, and it seems to her that she is right in all respects. And how to make peace with her husband, if you do not want to give in anything?
In addition, telling others about the unpleasant situation, you can completely lose the trust of the spouse. He may quite rightly consider his wife not serious.
It is very commendable when a woman thinks about how to make peace with her husband, not just with the goal of proving the truth, but with the desire for open dialogue and peace. It may not be easy to admit that you are wrong and ask for forgiveness, but peace and trust in the family is a fortune worth the effort.
