Rendezvous appointed, place and time determined, outfit and styling selected. The last remains, but the most difficult question is how to behave on the first date?
Be polite? Sure. Avoid dry interrogations? Required. However, a successful meeting requires much more. In this case, “successfully” means not an invitation to a second date, but an unmistakable determination of the chances for a joint future. How to calculate them?
Keep confident
Adequate self-esteem, its embodiment in behavior is a magnet. Subconsciously, people are drawn to such individuals, trying to imitate them, or at least fill themselves with a piece of their energy. A woman walking with a slow, confident walk, or a man with a direct, determined look is a manifestation of pure sexuality.
Raise faith in yourself in a short time will not work. However, in just a couple of hours you can minimize manifestations of uncertainty. How to do it:
- choose comfortable clothes (without high heels or neck ties, if they are unusual);
- to postpone experiments in appearance (styling, beard trimming, mustache, makeup) until the time when stiffness and awkwardness will be less;
- follow the posture, posture - straightening his shoulders and slightly raising his chin, you can feel better;
- negotiate a meeting place in advance - it is better to go to a familiar institution or at least choose a location without unusual exotics;
- have a good rest before a date, sleep well, drink a mug of warm milk before bedtime, if the nerves do not allow you to relax.
What better not to do by no means, is to take sedatives or alcohol. They make you feel lethargy, drowsiness, completely spoil the reputation. If the excitement is growing, will help herbal tea or breathing exercises.
Be yourself
The absolute peak of the desire to be the best person falls on the first date. The pursuit of development is commendable, but good qualities do not always appear, and dramatically shocking the other person with a negative on the fifth or tenth date is not the best idea.
The better the person seems at the first meeting, the more expectations are placed on him at the next date. And the stronger the disappointment at the incompatibility of the “ideal” with the truth. Typical mistakes in the initial stages of a relationship:
- try to uncompromisingly please the interlocutor to the detriment of themselves;
- “Adopt” the interests and views of the partner in order to impress him;
- to lie in order to regret or not disappoint your couple;
- afraid to say no and by doing so seem dull, weak;
- ignore rude, repulsive behavior.
Opinions do not converge or something in the person strongly do not like? It’s better to say it right away. Calm, tactful, but firm. If the person tries to apologize, stop the irritating action, adequately perceive the dissimilarity - well. If not, why take away your own and other people's time?
Show sincerity
“I like to listen to classics, I go to the gym three times a week, I read Shakespeare in the original at my leisure”.
Perfectly! It would be more accurate if it were true. And so pop music, yoga and comics Marvel. The preferences themselves are good. However, the fact that they are hidden, replaced by a lie, kills all the charm. What is most difficult - to tell the truth after a long deception.
It is important to learn to accept yourself or to strive for development. A person with overweight can say three different phrases and get three different reactions:
- “I go in for sports, I eat right, but, apparently, the reason is genetics or hormonal disruption”.
- “Well, yes, those extra pounds. So what? I love myself, I will not change for anyone. Who does not like - can not watch. ”
- “Gradually turn to the right lifestyle. While the result is small, it can be difficult, but I try. ”
The first is frank lies, the second is uncompromising, passivity. And only the third expression belongs to the person you want to deal with.
Sound your favorite quality
The girl has a small crook on the nose. Her mother, best friend and even brother sincerely say that the slight bend of the nose bridge gives a certain zest and does not spoil the face at all. But a new acquaintance appears on the horizon, asking if the girl wondered about rhinoplasty. What will she think about?
That's right - that she has a defect in appearance. How not ironic, but sometimes people tend to believe new acquaintances more than old ones. Especially when it comes to negativity. However, with positive qualities is the same. If the interlocutor likes something, you can say about it already on the first date.
“I am delighted with your smile - you have such cute dimples on your cheeks”.
“I love gallantry in men. Thanks for giving me your hand when I got out of the car. ”.
“Your femininity fascinates me. You are so gentle and elegant! ”.
A compliment will become a kind of “amplifier” of a good trait. The recipient of this promotion will want to more often show the quality they like - to be smiling, courteous, or refined.
Set limit information
No wonder they say that men love in women mystery. Forget only to add that the rule applies to both parties. Only in guys this is more often called “sport interest”, and in girls it is called “intrigue”.
If from the first minute you start talking about yourself all over the place, there may be no place for curiosity. Where does he come from, if all the secrets are revealed? Even the most banal thing can be submitted with a light veil of secrecy, and it will work. A drop of humor does not hurt. Three examples:
- - I like to write poetry. Most of all - about love, because they are the most gentle. I wrote the first verse at 10 years (tells it). By the way, then I really loved cooking and once burned my hand. And my mother-nurse smeared the burn with some ointment, and everything healed. At that second, I made a firm decision to help people and wanted to study for a doctor. It is because of my profession that I don’t like white, so I want to buy a different shade at my wedding. (another hour of the story about the perfect wedding, their own interests and dreams)
-… - - What do you like about?
- Motobikes.
- Why? Which ones do you like?
- I do not know. Fast
- And the color?
- Want some more wine?
“You did not respond to ...”
- Wine is good, will you?
-… - “You seem to enjoy playing the piano very much.”
- Yes, I like to put stories and feelings into the sounds of music.
- Where did you get such passion?
- One very interesting story is connected with it. (smiles mysteriously).
- Tell me? (unwittingly responds to a smile)
- But promise one more date - I'll tell you on it (laugh together).
In what dialogue is more likely to re-meet - obviously.
Listen and hear
There is a big risk that the interlocutor himself may lie on the first date. However, he is unlikely to control his body language, which will instantly give it away.
Speech can serve as an indicator. For example, if a person often fixates on a topic - is it important for him or does he consider it indicative. He tells about events not in chronological order - he shows his priorities. Goodies of information are also considered parasite words:
- by the way - an attempt to attract attention, its lack, awkwardness; characteristic of introverts;
- in short - haste, irritability or nervousness; often gives choleric;
- ё-my, eprst, ёshkin cat - extraversion, sociability;
- exactly this - laziness, infantilism, irresponsibility;
- like - conservatism, the complexity of making changes;
- simply - uncertainty, lack of personal opinion; characteristic of phlegmatic persons;
- so here, here - the desire to stop the conversation or ignorance of how to continue it.
Do not invite immediately to the second date
Even if a person really liked and causes stormy delight, this is not a reason to instantly schedule a second meeting. The reasons:
- You can feel sympathy when the couple is near, and in her absence do not even think about it. This is not evidence of the beginning of feelings, but rather of self-love, the desire to feel the attention of others;
- at first, good qualities are striking, only at home, in an objective situation, the minuses suddenly emerge in the memory. It is advisable to think about them well without the presence of the interlocutor and his emotional influence;
- with a partner can be good and fun. Sometimes even too much. After the date, there is a feeling that it is easy to fall in love with such a person, but it is not suitable for the expected role of a husband / wife, soul mate or couple in a non-binding relationship.
These 7 recommendations on how to behave on the first date should not be taken as an axiom. They are intended only to direct the course of the meeting, but not to control it. The most correct solution will be to analyze the situation, your partner, search for solutions based on a specific case. Sometimes a good rendezvous will only need one piece of advice, and sometimes seven will be enough. A
