All of us in one degree or another dissatisfied with endowed qualities.
Could be kinder, more confident, more sociable, and so on.
How to change your character?
What is a person's character?
The character of a person is some set of qualities and personality traitswhich influences all acts and manifestations of this person.
It defines a particular lifestyle and behavior.
In psychology character considered from the following points of view:
- as a system of stable motives and behaviors that form a certain behavioral personality type;
- as a clearly defined certainty of typical human behavior;
- as a measure of the equilibrium of the external and internal worlds, the peculiarity of man’s adaptation to the surrounding reality.
Under the character of a person also understand the totality of the following groups of personality traits:
- The attitude of a person to other people and society as a whole. This includes responsiveness, sociability, respect for others and reticence, rudeness, contempt.
- The attitude of a person to work. These include industriousness, initiative, perseverance and laziness, irresponsibility, passivity.
- Man's attitude to himself. These include self-esteem, self-criticism, modesty and vanity, touchiness, selfishness.
- The attitude of man to things. These include accuracy, care and carelessness, negligence.
Take the test and find out about your character:
How is it formed?
Character begins to form from the first months of life.
At the same time, the main role at this stage belongs to communication with others, as the child imitates loved ones and thus absorbs behaviors.
In addition, there is a special period of formation of character, which is in the range from two to ten years. At this time, children are the best perceive information, actively communicate with others, are exposed to influence from outside.
The main condition for the formation of character is the social environment, that is, all the people who surround a person in the process of his growing up and not only.
In addition, important conditions include physiological background. This refers to the peculiarities of the brain, the degree of its development predetermine the differences in the nature of different people.
Does it change in the course of life?
Previously, it was believed that the identity of a person fully formed by 25 years. And it is precisely at this age that all the basic traits of character are laid, and if they can be further changed, then absolutely insignificantly.
But various studies in the field of psychology have proven that the person’s identity continues to change. and in adulthood.
This happens under the influence of life experience and other factors.
Is it possible to change your character by yourself? Find out from this video:
Is it possible to change yourself?
All this is of course very individual and depends on many features. There are people who make it easier to change their own character. And there are those who have to apply great effort on yourself.
Also important is your own desire. If you sincerely want to change, then nothing will stop you.
Thus, if you are 30 years old or more, then you can change your character, but for this you need a great desire and active work on yourself.
In this video, how to work on negative traits of your character:
Advice of psychologists on the change of character
For the better
How to change the character for the better? Undoubtedly the worse your temper, the harder it is to live. Inconsistency, laziness, temper and other negative qualities obviously will not add you friends and will not help in building a career.
Psychologists recommend the following to change the character for the better:
- Analyze your character. Only one condition: be as honest with yourself as possible. In two columns write your strengths and weaknesses. Give it a minimum of 30 minutes, rummage in yourself. Now that you have this list before your eyes, it becomes clearer to work on!
- Understand why you want to change. Surely, you began to think about it because someone pointed out some flaws to you, or you yourself noticed that there are qualities that obviously complicate your life. In order to change the quality of your character, you will have to make a lot of effort. And if you are not aware of why you are doing this, then rather quickly lower your arms.
- Read good books. The most important rule in this case: the book should make you think. So, fiction novels and detectives of dubious quality, which are forgotten immediately after reading - obviously will not work. Pay attention to good fiction. You can also read books on psychology.
Read at least 50 pages per day and apply all the recommendations written there. This will help you in working on your character.
- Work on self-control. This is a very useful quality that will be useful to you in all areas of life. The ability to restrain and not give up the slack, when you so much want to break away, be rude, spilled or cry, that is, the ability to control your emotions will help you in your work on your character.
- Do not be shy ask for help. Man is not omnipotent and there are situations when he cannot cope. Talk to your loved ones and friends. Ask what qualities you should work on and how best to do it. They will be happy to help you, as well as support you if they notice that you have given up the slack.
- Do not be afraid to go to a psychologist. There is nothing wrong with that. If you really intend to change, the help of a competent specialist will be only by the way. Thanks to him, you can understand the reasons for their behavior and understand how best to work on yourself.
On tighter
Not always a change of character implies becoming more kind and agreeable.
There are people who are by nature rather soft. And this also prevents live.
If you want to change your character to more rigid, then try the following recommendations:
- Practice self-discipline. Our brain has a very interesting quality: when we improve some quality in one area, then it can easily be used in any other. Thus, having trained self-discipline in, for example, taking a contrast shower every morning or not eating a sweet for a whole month, you can later manifest this quality when you are required to be firm in character.
- Think about what you are missing. What qualities would help you become tougher? Determination? Willpower? When you see a list of necessary qualities in front of you, it is easier to start working on yourself.
- Practice mental stability. If you are easily offended, softened or affected by you in any other way, then people will use it. You need to learn not to succumb to other people's provocations and to remain calm and cool in any situation.
- Be positive. Do not be upset every time you failed to show character. Instead, it is better to take something out of it, to understand how to behave in a given situation the next time. So do not be sad, but take out the lesson and move on! The very fact that you recognized the problem and started working on it very well.
- Develop self-confidence. Surely you have complexes and fears. Write them out on a piece of paper and work on each one gradually. Get out of your comfort zone, do what you used to fear so much. Gradually, you will notice how you are becoming more confident in your abilities.
- Learn to defend your opinion. It is not easy. And more often it is easier to give up and succumb to weakness. But you need to learn to show determination and firmness.
Therefore, learn to articulate your own opinion on a particular issue, as well as confidently defend it.
- Learn to refuse people. Many do not know how, and then suffer from the fact that they are openly used. The ability to say "no" will be given to you easier as you begin to develop self-confidence.
- State yourself. Do not be a gray mouse that hides in the corners. Remember that you are a person who, in addition to negative qualities, has a lot of advantages. So tell others that you are worth something. And most importantly prove it with your actions.
- Do not allow others to manipulate themselves. Stop any attempts immediately. Otherwise, others will just sit on your neck.
- Do not forget about yourself. It is good that you think of others. But you also need to love yourself, care and cherish.
Beyond recognition
It happens that it is enough just to work on a couple of qualities. But sometimes people set themselves the goal to radically transform their character. A few tips to help you with this:
- Get ready to work hard on yourself. Any changes are persistent and non-stop work of a person on himself. So be prepared for this.
- Analyze your character. Maybe you do not need to change it dramatically? Or do you really want to reshape yourself?
In any case, it will be useful to clearly see what you have to deal with. Therefore, the list of advantages and disadvantages will come in handy.
- Take yourself. Until you accept yourself as you are, it is useless to move on. Any change will be given with great difficulty. In addition, at the earliest opportunity you will fall back and return to the very beginning. So accept all your strengths and weaknesses. Yes, you are such a person. Yes, perhaps there are more negative traits. But you can change.
- Learn from others. It will be useful if you have an example to follow. So it will be easier for you to understand what you should strive for and what you should work on. In addition, it will be easier to control yourself.
- Try visualization. Imagine yourself with the qualities you desire. What will you feel? What will you do? What exactly is changing in your life? Think about it as often as possible and change will not keep you waiting.
- Look at your surroundings. It is impossible to change the character beyond recognition, without changing anything around. People with whom we communicate daily have a very strong influence on us. Often we do not even notice. So if you are serious about changing, then analyze your environment. Who can help you with change? And who will only interfere? Who is bad for you? And who shows a good example? Try to communicate more with those who have a positive impact on you.
And those who set a bad example will have to be pushed into the background, at least for a while.
The very fact that you have come to the conclusion that you should work on your character can not but rejoice. With the tips listed in this article, you'll understand where to start the changes.
How to change your character beyond recognition? About this in the video: