Many of us are tormented by the question of the meaning of life. "Why do I live?", "What is all this for?" "What should I do?"
We try to find this answer in culture, in religion, in life, but very often it turns out that none of the answers suits us. Whatever comes to our head: we all reject.
"What is the use of all this if it ends anyway?"
And now, like Solomon, we exclaim: "All is vanity!"
Especially often this is faced by my readers who suffer from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.
And what is the way out? How to gain a sense of meaningful existence?
And for this I have my own way to the problem of painful questions about the meaning of life.
And this path is not vulnerable to various doubts, thoughts and speculations. And in this article and in this video I will explain it. I will tell you how I myself approach the problem of finding the meaning of life.
Tip 1 - do not look for the answer, but change your state
When we again and again begin to ask, “what is the meaning of life?”, “Why do I live?”, We risk falling into the trap. It may seem to us that we are tormented by these questions, simply because we have no idea in our head, some ready-made answer: "the meaning of life is in this and that."
And we are convinced that when we find this answer, then all our torment will end.
And here our mistake may lie in the fact that we are looking for an answer, where there is none and cannot be!
Because we can be unhappy, not only because we do not have any answers, but simply because at the moment we are experiencing a certain state.
Such questions often torment people who suffer from depression, chronic despondency, anxiety, panic attacks. Or simply experiencing confusion, general dissatisfaction with life.
Remember the time when you were good. Did these questions go to you then? Most likely no. You just lived and enjoyed life!
These questions often arise precisely in those moments when you feel bad, nothing pleases you, nothing interests you.
"Since all this does not bring joy and interest, then what is the use of this?" - we decide.
And we get the same answer, which was the question.
The very wording of the question, as well as from what state this question is asked and implies the answer.
Therefore, in a state of depression, anxiety can not even try to solve this problem. Because in this state the answer will always be the same.
Instead, it is better to aim not at the painful search for an answer, but at stabilizing your state. If the reason for the lack of interest in life is depression, then you need to work with depression. If it is panic attacks - then with panic attacks.
Meditate, exercise, work with a psychotherapist, and so on.
Solve internal problems that led to dissatisfaction with life in order to change your state, which became the source of these unanswered questions. And then, very possibly, these answers will come to you themselves.
Tip 2 - Do not engage in thoughts about the meaning of life!
And here I want to offer a very unusual, but effective approach to working with these thoughts. It consists in the following.
Instead of trying to answer this question, frantically fingering the answers, try to treat these thoughts as just thoughts.
Here came the thought: “what is the meaning of life,” if you don’t get involved in it, just accept, be aware and let go, then we will see that another thought follows. Any. For example, “I want to eat” or “I am the best”, or “nobody loves me”.
On the one hand, we are not trying to drive this thought further, to distract from it, to brush it aside.
On the other hand, we do not begin to persistently analyze it, disassemble it, and try to solve it.
We are doing something else. We just take her as a thought, give her a place inside, but do not react to it, allowing her to come and go.
And then we see that this is just one of the thoughts in a long line of mental flow, the creeping line inside the head. It is not necessarily some kind of motivation for action, it does not necessarily require immediate resolution. This is just a piece of information, a piece of text.
And when we try to resolve some thoughts inside our head with the help of other thoughts, one text with another text, then problems may arise.
And therefore, in this technique, we leave these attempts.
For those who have not had the experience of meditation, this may seem difficult. But, once you start to develop awareness, it will be much easier for you to cope with the flow of thoughts that capture your attention. It will be easier for you to relate to what is happening in your head with less seriousness.
This applies not only to thoughts about the meaning of life. This applies to any thoughts that make people ruin their lives, for example: “I'm a loser,” “I can't do anything,” “no one loves me.”
No, I do not want to say that thoughts can never be listened to. You just need to always bet on the fact that the mind at arbitrary moments can "throw out" different phrases. They can both relate to reality and show the fruit of our fantasies, expectations.
And if we always cling to these phrases, get involved in them, then this gives rise to problems. No matter how we struggle to reassure these phrases in my head with the help of other phrases, sometimes it only gets worse.
Therefore, instead of doing this, we simply do not engage in thoughts; we observe this long mental stream, in which there is room for any thoughts, both good and bad.
Just as we do during meditation.
And then, if we take a step back from these thoughts, stop spending all our energy on unraveling them or resisting them, then the answer to the main question of life may come by itself. It can come not only in the form of a concept ("the meaning of life in this and this"), but also in the form of an emotional state, deep understanding. After all, we have previously cleared a place in his mind for him, letting go of all senseless questions and tedious analysis.
Or else you will come to the conclusion that all these thoughts are the fruit of the disorderly and chaotic work of your mind. Our consciousness is just so arranged that it asks these questions. And maybe they do not need permission. And, perhaps, in principle, they cannot be resolved from the inside of consciousness. Probably, the very formulation of the question is already somehow incorrect.
Tip 3 - Accept the Unknown
But, you will say: “what then to do with feelings that follow thoughts or which anticipate them? If I don’t feel joy, if I am filled with some kind of state of emptiness?”
Here the principle will be similar. If we stop following each feeling, crawl in it, and we observe it simply as one of the emotions in the long flow of experiences, we will see that the feeling comes first, then another, then the third and so on.
First you feel "existential emptiness" or a feeling of uncertainty, uncertainty, meaninglessness, then comes a feeling of sadness, then anxiety, then joy, then fear, then interest. Just look at this stream, do not get involved in it. Be an observer.
Perhaps in your case this feeling is longer, but still it is temporary.
Yes, each of us from time to time comes a sense of uncertainty, vagueness, lack of understanding of the global plan. We do not like this feeling. And then we try to find any answer to the eternal question, to remove this feeling, to dispel. But we spend so much energy on it, so much energy, that any deep understanding of the meaning of life disappears. In trying to find the meaning of life, he eludes us. The more we cling to this thought, to some kind of concept, the more we lose in the field of fresh feelings, deep understanding.
When uncertainty comes, uncertainty, do not drive it away from yourself. Be with her. Watch this emotion, do not try to chase it away, untangle it or crush it. Be with her. Treat her with caring attention. Listen to her. What does it tell you?
If you look at him, then perhaps you will find in him something charming, something interesting. Perhaps, having ceased to spend energy on resisting this feeling, on questions without answers, you will see in this emotion itself one of the manifestations of life. Instead of reasoning, you get closer to this life. Life full of mysteries, secrets, charm and interest.
