Movement is life itself. At the same time, many people dream of change, but they are afraid: to lose stability over the years, to look ridiculous in the eyes of their relatives, to the unknown. Are you thinking of rebooting? Do not your business? Do you think it's too late to change in your years? There is no deadline for happiness, experts say, it does not depend on a sign from above, but on character. If you do not consider yourself to be a brave man, then. You can build your own way of life without haste, without steep turns.
It seems that dissatisfaction with life can be experienced by people who have “something wrong”. If a career is in order, there is a family, a house and a vacation at sea, then there is simply nothing to complain about. But successful and mature people decide for change. After all, a midlife crisis does not always cover it at 40. It can begin much earlier or much later: at 30 and at 50 years old.
Here is a small selection of ways to reshape your own life. True, there is one small "but": these methods are suitable, rather, for people who are rational, thoughtful, for those who are not used to drastically changing their being.
Life audit: no one is in a hurry
The movement is life, and life is the way, and on the way you must stop. There is such a thing - the audit of life. This is a way to take everything out of life, carefully sort out and return only what is needed. And then the fun begins - replenishment of happiness. After all, the place for him has already become free. Auditing is useful when everything seems to be there, but something is missing.
In this case, the best help a psychologist. But if the trip to it is not included in your plans, we will get out on our own. Here are 2 ways.
Exercise 1. Map of your life
To understand how you distribute energy, you can draw a map of life. This method is used by psychologists to communicate with children, but it will not hurt adults to play a little. To do this, take a sheet of paper and 10 colored pencils.
Write a list of 10 items (their number and names can be adjusted):
- What's around me
- Who is around me
- Impressions
- Health and Sport
- Family and Children
- Work and money
- Hobbies and development
- Why i live
- The joy of life
- His own master
In front of each item, put a number so that in total they give 100.
Turn the sheet over and start painting with proportions. The area of each color will show how much space each item takes in life. For example, if you put the number 10 opposite the item "joy of life", take a pencil and paint over a tenth of a sheet. Which one? Decide for yourself. Further it will be possible to conjure a little.
What will it give?
- The area of each shade: a clear picture of your condition - which is too much in life and what is missing.
- The chosen color: your attitude to every sphere of life - bright colors speak of joy, while dark ones will show discontent.
- The location of each sphere of life: in the upper left corner are important for you, in the lower right - those that you do not pay attention.
Tip: for starters just analyze your map. You should not compare it with other drawings or adjust to others. The way it will be only yours. Analyzing shades, it is better to rely on your own associations. For example, red is considered the color of aggression. But if he causes positive emotions in you, you should listen to your inner voice.
Exercise 2. List of own desires
Sometimes we think that daily worries prevent us from moving to fulfillment of desires. We have many desires, but we do not dare to voice them even alone with ourselves. Want to check it out?
Take a piece of paper, a pen and a timer.
On one side write the word "must." Note on the timer 2 minutes and continuously write a list of all the necessary cases.
On the second side write the word "want." Note 2 minutes and, without thinking, write all your desires.
What will it give? Concentration on your own desires. Of course, everyone gets their result, but there are statistics: many write the first list confidently and quickly, whereas they stumble on the wish list on the fifth or seventh paragraph and hardly wait until the end of the allotted time.
Tip: Try to give the wishlist extra attention. To do this, you can hang the sheet in a prominent place and replenish it with items that come to mind at any time: from the desire to bake an intricate dessert to buying a cottage on the seashore.
Reprogramming habits using tricks for the brain
Coaches know that the habit is developed for 21 days, but it will take several months to become part of life. This lengthy process makes the brain look for different excuses to avoid such a tedious process of regrouping. A few tricks will help to outwit him.
1. First, then thinking
To become a pleasant person, you don’t need to program yourself for 2 months. You can start to smile affably to people, give up the place, hold the door and greet the neighbors. Want to learn to empathize - sign up for a volunteer organization, take a job at the Hospice or visit an animal shelter.
2. Immerse yourself in your fears in neutral territory.
Fear is a normal reaction in the growth process. Of course, you should not jump with a parachute, if such a jump has helped your friend change his life. You can start a change on a neutral territory: talk to a stranger in transport or at a bus stop, start a frank conversation with your loved one, share feelings.
3. Do not waste energy on judging yourself
Often we torture ourselves with niggles, who themselves have come up with. We feed ourselves for not seeing, not seeing, not predicting, not saying (or not speaking). These internal disputes are insatiable energy eaters. Try to track one of these, mentally pierce to the end, close the imaginary door (cross out with a black marker) and never return to it. After that, take up the next one.
4. Do not waste energy on condemnation of others.
The way we speak about others tells more about ourselves. Especially if we judge people in absentia. Condemnation of others makes your face evil and poisons your life, even if on a foreign background you seem to yourself better. Try to abstract from other people's failures or mistakes, even if they persistently ask for your opinion. See how much good energy will remain in your soul.
5. Come up with an improved version of yourself.
Do not try immediately to give your new "I" perfect features. Just try to fantasize like little children. Imagine yourself improved after 5 years and invite for a tea party. Sit together at the table, see how you look, what you drink, what you eat, how you talk. Do you like this person? What can you start doing right now? What is worth giving up? Turn this process into an exciting game. Gradually, you will begin to behave like him.
6. Love caviar and champagne
A little story for a mood: one day a young artist came to Picasso. He wanted to become as famous and asked the Master how to act. It was ready to give up all the joys of life in order to become as successful. To which Picasso answered him: "Love caviar and champagne. Only then will you know what it is worth creating for."
What other methods will help to understand shake yourself and mark your way of life? Keeping a diary, morning rituals, visualization, meditation, yoga, creativity. It is important not to dwell on the very process of self-knowledge, to turn on the imagination to its full potential and to try, try.
