Not always maintaining a conversation is easy.
Sometimes a simple interlocutor's question about our lifestyle and interests. makes you think seriously about the answer.
Why do standard questions lead to a dead end?
As a rule, during any small talk after the greeting standard questions: “What do you do in your free time?”, “What do you do in life?”, Etc.
Plain at first glance, the phrase is often confusing.
Each of us tries to make the most positive impression on others, demonstrating our merits. But most people live simply: solve everyday problems, work, travel, make repairs, engage in hobbies, raise children, etc.
Respectively, the most natural answer - I live a normal life. But, having said this, we do not allow the opponent to find a clue in our words to continue the conversation. The chance of making contact is minimized, since the conversation comes to a standstill.
Understanding this, people try to answer the banal question in more detail, in order to interest themselves and increase the chances of continuing communication. Often there is an involuntary embellishment of reality.
What do people mean by asking such questions?
The main goals that people pursue at such a moment:
- Just start a conversation. A person needs to start with something to communicate and the only thing that comes to the mind of the majority is to inquire about the state of affairs and the interests of the interlocutor. The phrases “How are you doing?”, “What are you doing?”, “What are you doing?” Are so firmly embedded in everyday communication that they are pronounced automatically when meeting new people or meeting old friends. If the interlocutor answers not monosyllabically, but deployed, then it becomes possible to smoothly continue the conversation in a given direction. In other words, such phrases act as a launching pad for the beginning of communication - they help to focus, tune in to the personality of the opponent, collect thoughts, etc.
- Show interest. Educated person is distinguished by the ability to show respect for others.
One way to recognize the importance of another person is to show interest in his person.
Asking about the life and activities of the interlocutor, we show that he is not indifferent to us. With a certain experience, it is always easy to determine how sincerely such questions sound, how much a person really is interested.
- Get the necessary information. If the communication is not random, but focused, the interlocutor seeks to extract information from the conversation that is of interest to him. So, such questions are often asked on dating sites to get some initial information about a potential partner. Talking about his lifestyle, activities and hobbies, a person gradually creates a certain image in the eyes of the interlocutor. If this image is sympathetic, communication is transferred to real life.
If at the initial stage of the conversation it becomes clear that people do not connect anything with each other, the communication ceases smoothly.
- Rate the identity of the opponent. In real communication, you can understand a lot about the identity of the interlocutor. The manner of speech, behavior, gestures, broadcast information, openness or closeness - all this allows us to draw the first conclusions about the temperament, character of the opponent. Of course, the information received is not enough to form a complete picture of the individual, since many people at the beginning of communication are not fully disclosed, but you can make some impression.
How to ask the original: "What are you doing?", "What are you doing in life?"
Original and fun welcome questions help defuse the atmosphere set up the interlocutor for a positive from the very beginning of the conversation.
Appeal to a guy
Can to cheer up one of the following unexpected phrases:
- “What are some great things your high nobility does?”
- "Tell me about your incredible accomplishments."
- “What are you doing in life, for which you are very ashamed? Confess! "
- “What other classes do you have besides dating online?”
Appeal to the girl
Girls love attention and compliments, so You can use one of the following original options.:
- "I can not even imagine what such a beauty in life can do."
- “To impress such a girl, you need to know her tastes. Tell me more about yourself!"
- “Judging from the photos on the page, you have a very busy life. I'm not wrong?"
- “I feel that we have a lot in common! Let's check? Tell us about yourself!"
How not to be interested?
If this communication is in reality, then you should not ask to speak in an indifferent tone, showing his indifference to the interlocutor.
A person will feel that in reality his interlocutor has nothing to do with his person, and the question is asked solely out of decency.
Aggression, excessive perseverance also not be appreciated.
When communicating on the Internet, it is advisable to give preference to original phrases or dilute a banal question with other interesting information that may serve as a reason to continue the conversation.
For example: “What are you doing? I now plan to jump with a parachute. " If the correspondence begins with “Hello. How are you with great probability on this it will end.
The interviewee simply will not find what to answer or does not want to do it.
How original to answer?
Showing a little imagination and courage, you can even give a very positive elementary question, original answer. The opponent will definitely appreciate the wit.
Phrases for a young man
A guy can say the following:
- “Saving propaganda lost in the swamp”.
- "I do charity work: I give myself to people."
- "I design new models of the Universe, and then I rent them out."
- "I am experiencing nuclear weapons."
- "Save the world!"
- “I am helping the president solve complex political problems.”
- “You ask for decency, or are you really interested?”
- "Improving the Hadron Collider."
Answers for girls
The girl may surprise with the following phrases:
- "Guess! For the correct answer - the prize for the wrong - the punishment. "
- "I live, breathe air."
- “Nothing: I am lying, drinking, eating, reading a book, watching TV, talking to you, thinking about the future of the planet and dreaming of new shoes.”
- "Why are you asking? Do you want to use this information against me? ”
- "I make 60 beats per minute, and this is only with my heart."
- "I pretend where to hide the corpse of the former guy."
How not to not answer?
The main mistakes that people make:
- Respond in monosyllables. The most negative and unpromising way of developing a conversation, when a banal welcome question comes in to an even more banal monosyllabic answer. For example: "What are you doing?" - "Nothing." Or: "How are you?" - "Normal." If both interlocutors experience difficulties in constructing a conversation, then such a beginning will completely exclude the possibility of developing a dialogue. As a rule, after such greeting phrases, communication completely fades away.
Especially if the conversation takes place not in reality, but on the Internet, where there is no opportunity to evaluate facial expressions and gestures for more information.
- Show neglect. Even if a person asks automatically to maintain small talk, one should show respect and respond within the bounds of decency. Bad mood, dislike, personal problems - all this is not a reason for insulting a rude answer.
- Show aggression. Aggressive behavior demonstrates inability to behave in society, bad manners and limitations. If your opponent causes deep hostility, you need to find the strength to politely support the conversation and smoothly stop the conversation.
- Demonstrate excessive talkativeness. This problem is especially urgent in our country, where people like to give detailed descriptions of their life and the problems it contains to all those around them, including unfamiliar people. If, in correspondence on a dating site, to a question about a lifestyle, a girl begins to tell in detail about all the everyday difficulties, material problems, work schedules, hobbies and past novels, then the young man quickly disappears, frightened by such talkativeness and excess information.
What if there is no desire to communicate?
Need to try politely get away from talking about yourself or try to stop the conversation.
In the first case, it is enough to switch the interlocutor's attention to his own person, showing an active interest in his affairs.
Pairs of questions will be enough for a person I started to talk about myself with enthusiasm. For a polite termination of a conversation, it is enough to recall the plans that were made, to ask to transfer the conversation to another time.
If the conversation takes place on the Internet, then simply leave the network, offering to continue the conversation later.
So, banal questions about life can be specified in many original ways..
Witty and resourceful interlocutors are always popular in society.
Why is it not interesting to communicate with the person who writes “Hello! How are you? What are you doing? Clear.":