Mother hates her daughter: causes and ways to overcome family conflicts

The relationship between mother and child has been repeatedly praised in literature and cinema. It seems that every woman is ready to give literally everything for the happiness of her baby. However, there are sad exceptions to the rules, which turn into real hatred between the parent and her heir.

Why does the mother hate her own daughter, and what are the true causes of such conflicts?

Causes of hate between mother and daughter

Psychologists point out that tensions between different generations of the same family can be caused by a variety of reasons. Which ones are the most common?

Her mother did not want to have children, and an accidental pregnancy spoiled her plans for life. In this regard, since childhood she has been dismissive of her own daughter.
Mother believes that the heiress did not justify her hopes and does not fully use her creative and professional potential.
A woman can envy her own daughter because she is more beautiful or successful.
Often the conflict is caused by the arrogant behavior of the daughter herself, which gives rise to further quarrels with the parent.
Hate can be a manifestation of extreme love, when the mother is trying with all her might to make her daughter live as she wants.

The psychologist is unlikely to get to the bottom of the truth, without knowing the full story of this story. Often the causes of hatred must be sought in the distant past. Perhaps the woman did not like the man from whom she became pregnant and, looking at her daughter, she sees the man himself.

Perhaps the mother did not want to have a child, and therefore could not get rid of negative feelings towards him.

Often quarrels and conflicts between relatives are dictated by elementary different views on life. Thus, a mother sees her daughter as a successful lawyer who is married to a rich man. The very same girl chooses the profession of an artist and marries an underprivileged lover. As a result, a conflict is born that develops into open opposition and even hatred.

Sometimes this negative feeling is not at all what it seems. So, excessive love of a parent can look negative. For example, a woman who wants to see her daughter as a clever and beautiful woman will restrict her in communication with an unsuitable company, stick her views on appearance or behavior. Conflict in such a situation is inevitable, but it is dictated by love, not hate.

Improving mother and daughter relations

Why a mother hates her daughter a psychologist can find out only when communicating with both women. The specialist is also able to give advice on how to eliminate the conflict, but their effectiveness depends solely on the female relatives themselves.

Here are just a few principles that will help in normalizing relations:

you should talk about your feelings and emotions, because otherwise small unresolved conflicts will destroy relationships;
mothers need to stop projecting their dreams on the child, giving him a certain personal freedom from childhood;
daughters need to ignore petty nagging and conflicts, because in most cases the mother expresses her care with their help;
Mother and daughter need to spend as much time as possible in order to gain common interests and relevant topic of conversation.

As in the resolution of any other conflicts, elementary dialogue comes first. A mother should talk to her daughter about her emotions, while not forgetting to explain their reason.

Daughters also need to express major resentment, telling the mother how they affect their relationship. If women are not able to harmoniously communicate in private, you can connect to the dialogue of a psychologist who will help resolve the conflict, as a professional.

It is imperative that relatives spend more time together. They can go to the theater, to the cinema, to meet with friends. Such communication will help overcome psychological stress and find common topics for conversation. If the ladies are seen every couple of months, then their meetings are necessarily painted in alarming notes.

And one more important, immutable truth is the absence of protracted conflicts. Even if the mother somehow offended her child, you need to show wisdom and come to a dialogue. Yes, for the sake of this, you will have to step over pride, but a prolonged conflict will not develop into a global and long-term confrontation.

Psychological games that will help in overcoming conflicts

"Why does my mother hate me" - asking such a painful question, the daughter can not guess that the parent simply does not know how to properly express emotions. Psychological isolation leads to the fact that parents seem to be impregnable and cold to their own children. In such a situation, the psychologist may resort to an amusing game. Its essence lies in the fact that the daughter and mother embraced for 3-5 minutes without saying a word.

Such a caress will help both express their feelings and avoid unnecessary tension.

Another exercise that psychologists often resort to is a retelling of pleasant memories. Mom and daughter should take turns to talk about those delicate and bright events that are connected with each other. This may be family holidays, joint vacations. Talking about all this, relatives will come to the conclusion that they really love each other.

Such an exercise helps to realize how great the connection between mother and child really is, while forgetting about minor offenses.

Psychologists can resort to another effective way to awaken the senses - to use the power of art. Joint viewing of touching films about the relationship between mother and daughter, reading literary works on this subject together - all this will help to understand how important family relationships.

If the listed techniques do not help, the psychologist can resort to shock therapy. Its essence is that the specialist makes the mother and daughter take turns to present the death of a relative and her speech at the funeral. Such a painful way of dealing with conflicts effectively opens old wounds. As a result, mother and daughter understand that their negative to each other is insignificant and not grounded by anything, and the spiritual connection is much more important than tiny offenses.

During this dialogue, women can make all the claims to each other. They can only be analyzed and draw appropriate conclusions. Also, a psychologist may be asked to submit a mother that she never had a daughter. Analyzing her future without a child, a woman necessarily realizes how important this relationship is for her. Such a technique, supported by sincere repentance, often gives fruit, helping ladies to get rid of mutual complaints.

Yes, relations between relatives are not always touching. Often, mother and daughter do not communicate for years, and when they begin to do this, they immediately enter into open confrontation. However, psychologists believe that any conflict between mother and daughter can be resolved with competent psychological support. The spiritual connection in this case is extremely strong, and no force can destroy it in the bud.