Philophobia is the fear of sincere intimate relationships.

The need to love and be loved for a person is one of the main. The feeling of love arises unexpectedly and spontaneously; it cannot be controlled.

Sometimes a person survived unhappy love and disappointed in this feeling, falls ill with philophobia. What does it mean?

He begins to fear love, avoids new relationships. Although in the soul such an individual subconsciously longs to experience this wonderful feeling, but suppresses it, hides his desires within himself.

What it is?

From the point of view of psychiatry, philophobia is unhealthy fear of lovewhich is expressed in a high degree of fear of experiencing a positive emotional attitude towards another individual.

In simple words, the philofob avoids sincere intimate relationships with anyone, feels horror and panic at the first sign of falling in love.

Oddly enough, the disease affects those people who subconsciously crave lovedream of her, see in a dream a perfect happy relationship.

In fact, Philophobe stubbornly does not allow even the possibility to establish such a relationship. Doctors believe that this happens because of unsuccessful past relationships, after which a person could not recover for a long time, struggled with depression.

With the previous partner, the man was open, he allowed his beloved into his soul, but was disappointed. His idea of a perfect relationship collapsed like a house of cards, leaving behind the bitterness of loss, deep depression, apathy.

Despite this, the philophobe still loves the former partner, subconsciously compares him with all subsequent ones.

It is the fear of experiencing new disappointment, the bitterness of loss and give rise to the development of philophobia. In order to never again experience a strong emotional pain, the philophobe separates himself from the possibility of a new love.

The result of the disease becomes loneliness, depression, suicidal thoughts. Such a person needs qualified psychological and mental health care, because he himself is not able to cope with the disease.

However, not all people who survived unsuccessful relationships become philophobes. Also, love disappointment is not the only cause of illness. The main reason lies in the hereditary predisposition to various emotional disorders.

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Causes

Psychologists distinguish several provoking factors Philophobia development:

Fear of losing a loved one, which developed as a result of the separation or death of the beloved.
Unfulfilled feelings for the former lover, philophobe unwittingly compares subsequent partners with the previous ones, the comparison is not in favor of the latter.
Fear of strong attachment, the possibility of dissolving in your beloved, losing your individuality.
The fear of being physically unattractive for a partner, especially women are affected.
Men develop a fear of being untenable in the intimate sphere, especially if they already had problems in this regard.
Fear of liability for a partner (for men).

In addition to the above, there are still reasons for the development of fear of love, which are rooted in childhood philophobe:

The separation of parents, which the child was experiencing very hard.
The arrival in the family of "evil" stepfather or stepmother, with whom the child has not developed a relationship.
The appearance in the family of younger brothers and sisters, who took away all the parental attention and love.
Experienced sexual abuse.
The suggestion to the child by the parents of the uselessness and danger of love.

Whatever the cause of the disease, philophobia is a serious problem, which can often be fixed only by a specialist.

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Varieties of phobias

Philophobia combines various fears.

Sometimes the cause of the disease can be determined by identifying specific type of phobia.

By eliminating a certain fear, it is possible to save a person from the horror of experiencing love and make him happy.

Philophobia refers to the fear of states. This group includes the following phobias:

hypengiophobia- fear of liability, usually men suffer from this;
antihyphobia- fear of failure, proceeds together with the previous one;
Zelphobia - fear of experiencing a feeling of jealousy, develops as a result of past relationships, where this feeling was constantly present;
dysmorphophobia - This is the fear of being physically unattractive. This often affects women after the betrayal of a loved one.

Also, the fair sex may experience gerontophobia (fear of old age) and monophobia (fear of becoming fat).

Regardless of the type of phobia, the person feels miserable and needs help.

Symptoms of the disease

The individual suffering from philophobia, at first glance, does not give the impression of a patient. He willingly communicates with representatives of the opposite sex, is responsive and kind. But it happens in relationships with those in which he can not fall in love a priori.

The main feature of the philophobe’s behavior is that he chooses a partner, gets his attention, love, then suddenly ends the relationship.

Often for a relationship, the philophobe chooses a partner who does not show love for him or even expresses rudeness and aggression.

Next to such a person, the patient feels calm, because they do not have a strong attachment to him.

In psychiatry, there are two complexes that develop on the background of philophobia:

Complex aggression. In this case, the individual blames the partner for all the failures, is angry that he could not prevent love disappointment. Therefore, in the behavior of such a person is different aggression, believes that life was unfair to him.
Complex sacrifice. Such patients blame partners and people around for their misfortunes. This behavior is peculiar to the female sex. They constantly recall unsuccessful relationships, fall into depression.

Philophobe can be distinguished by the following external manifestations:

Avoiding flirting. Such a person is afraid of being left alone with a member of the opposite sex, reddens in communication, moves away from conversations.
Life is alone. These people usually live alone, do not have children. They are closed, reluctant to communicate.
Conscious "disfigure" yourself. This is expressed in the absence of makeup and hair in women, baggy unfashionable clothes. They can also "decorate" their face and body with scars, tattoos, and specifically bring themselves to extreme obesity.
Manifestation of aggression in relation to others. It can be expressed in contemptuous statements about happy people. In relations with relatives, such an individual becomes a home sadist, demanding increased attention to his person.

All manifestations of phobias are pronounced, accompanied by a deterioration of the patient. In the moment strong mental stress a person experiences:

feeling short of breath;
hand shake;
skin redness, fever, or chills;
stuttering, inability to think normally.

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Treatment

Often filofobiyu diagnose problematic. Especially when the patient stubbornly denies the presence of fear, writing off all the symptoms to external circumstances.

The main step in the treatment of phobias is the patient’s awareness of his problem and the desire to get rid of it. It is not possible to force a philophobe to start treatment.

To help make a decision to turn to a specialist patient can a person whom the philophobe trusts and values their relationship.

In the treatment of fears prefer non-drug treatment.

The basis of treatment is psychotherapy. These can be individual sessions with a doctor, group classes.

On individual classes apply methods of gestalt therapy, aimed at understanding the cause of the disease. The doctor, together with the patient, is working on past negative situations, creating new positive images.

Group classes are aimed at the formation of personal growth, the ability to interact with people, increase self-esteem and stress resistance.

In particularly difficult situations when the symptoms of phobias are very pronounced, the doctor prescribes drug treatment. For the relief of negative symptoms, the following types of drugs are used:

tranquilizers that relieve anxiety, fear, panic;
antipsychotics designed to combat nervous disorders;
antidepressants are used with a tendency to depression, suicidal thoughts.

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How to live with fear?

A person can fight his own problem without resorting to the help of a psychiatrist.

To get rid of the disease the patient must realize your problem.

The second step is the understanding that it is not he who is the cause of failure, that unhappy love, treason is experienced by millions of people.

Then you should approach the object of your phobia, in this case, begin build new relationships. This method in psychotherapy is called “exposure”.

It is necessary to gather the will into a fist and get closer to your fear. At this point, the unpleasant symptoms will increase to a certain level. Then the psyche will understand that there is no real danger for it and all manifestations subside.

In this way, basic steps to victory over fear the following:

awareness of the cause of fear;
understanding the absurdity of a phobia;
rapprochement with your fear;
mastering the ability to "release" the situation at the moment of convergence.

Also, do not give up medical care and be afraid of medicines. They will help to overcome the most difficult stage of the struggle with the disease and to find peace of mind.

Fear is the body’s natural reaction until it turns into a phobia, when the manifestation of fear becomes inadequate.

In the case of philophobia, the prognosis is favorable. With correct therapy, 9 out of 10 patients can fully recover. In some cases, a few conversations with a therapist are enough.

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